so did you!” bellowed Lucifer. “You already knew the lines. Every one of them. Forwards and backwards. You should play another role next time. How many seasons have you played that tired old Jesus character?”
“I don’t remember, Lu.”
“Of course you do, Jeez. You know we both freely chose our roles. I work for the Underlord and you work for the Overlord.”
“Just the order of things.”
“Jesus! You chose the ‘order of things!’ Sorry for shouting. I sometimes think that the Lords don’t exist? I already know you believe in yours, but don’t you think your Overlord is all about what to do and what not to do; emphasis on the not?”
“Lu, that is the order of things.”
“What a fool you can be, Jeez. Be a hairdresser next time you go down there.” Jesus finds that funny and laughs. Lucifer continues, “Why do you suppose the masses throughout history personified their Gods?”
Jesus shrugged and did not respond. He knew he was about to get himself embroiled in a conversation that he has had with Lucifer countless times. Jesus folded his arms, leaned back in the comfort of his vape bar chair and waited for Lucifer’s tired old grousing and pontificating to begin. He didn’t need to wait long for what usually starts with, “You know I love you, man.”
“And I love you, Lu.”
“So don’t be offended——”
“It is impossible to offend me.”
“One day I will bet you on that. Anyway, here goes: You cannot talk to the unconscious and assume they are going to understand you; much less, that they could possibly grasp any idea for what you said. They hear their own amplified confirmations of immortality; deaf to everything else——everyone else. Anything to comfort their mortal fears. You were a port in the storm, dearest. Anyone who promises life everlasting is going to be on the hit parade——a big seller. Do you want to hear what I would have done, Jeez?”
Of course, that was the last thing Jesus wanted to hear, much less, answer. He slowly inhaled before answering, “Naturally, I suppose.”
“I would not have given the rabble so much credit. You said yourself that they didn’t know how awful they were.”
“Something like that. I believe I said that they didn’t know what they were doing.”
“Same thing. Who does? Look! The fact is, they don’t know a thing and they don’t care to open themselves to learning new realities. There are so many alternate realities and yet they see and hear what they want to see and hear, because it makes them comfortable. They do not create, explore, take a risk. They see their reality as only one dimension. A dimension they can accept and agree upon. One that remains familiar. A world built upon a false sense of security. Threaten anything within their bubble and they will destroy you. If you really look at it, Jeez, it’s pretty much all your doing.”
Jesus pouted. “It was pure ignorance. They didn’t know any better! That is their original and only sin——ignorance. It is no one’s fault. Sometime’s, Lu, you fucking piss me off!”
“Sometimes, my dearest friend, you fucking piss me off, too. They do, indeed, choose their own ignorance. Period. Subject closed. They chose it,” the devil pronounced.
“You don’t crush a sapling because it doesn’t bear fruit; you protect it until it does. It needs time.”
“Sometimes, Jeez, when the tree can’t grow, when it folds back onto itself and withers from unexpected realizations in the shadows of false starts, disappointments, misdirections, too much compromise, withering into resignation, back into dust, you are obliged to put it out of its misery. Play another role next time. Take a rest. Take responsibility for the actions of your followers, as well.”
“Lu! Are you going to continue beating this dead horse?”
“Tell me, Jeez, how do you do it? Is it your amazingly divine good looks? Or your annoying goodliness? Or your deliciously edible ideas? Which is it? One? Two out of three? All of them?”
“Give me a break, Lu.”
“I love you, Jeez, and you know it! But, you should stop being a sapling and grow up!”
“I took the role of their Savior,” Jesus stated with a mixture of defiance and regret, “because I thought I actually had something to offer.”
“Yeah. You added more dark matter to an atmosphere already suffering from it. Not only was the idea of Them and Us bad enough, it was the cause of many wars, still is; a flesh and blood war over the invisible——the unknowable. How fucking sad is that?”
“I’m aware, Lu.”
Lucifer gave forth an invigorated exhalation of vapor rings. “Jesus, grow the fuck up!”
“Please. I’m tired. Give it a rest.”
“A rest? Wake up, Jesus!”
“I was an example. I gave them visions for more dimensions yet to come. I gave them something to look forward to, something real, something to ease their material suffering.”
“You are an amazingly funny stupid man.” Lucifer slowly exhaled a thick protracted stream of vapor that rose to make curlycues in the air above the head of Jesus. The curlycues seemed to be mocking Jesus as they twisted one over the other. Lucifer jocularly accused, “You got in their way. Souls must change themselves——by themselves.” Lucifer’s vapor stream descended over the head of Jesus, turned into a golden halo annoying Jesus.
“Stop that! Get rid of that damned thing.”
“As you say, merchant of illusions, myths, and lies!”
The halo vanishes. “My character never lied, Lu. I spoke only truth. I genuinely wanted to be of help. To show them the Miraculous. They chose the text over the subtext. Missing the subtle, the ethereal. Something transporting, transcending. I tried to show them the power of Will. It is the greatest power given to Man and yet they let it atrophy because they don’t know how to use it. I tried to teach them, Lu, but everything went meshugge.” Jesus was visibly unnerved.
“See what that got you. Surely, you must agree that it is impossible to communicate truth, unless they already know it for themselves.”
“Everybody knows the truth when they hear it.”
“In that case, what they needed was confirmation for what they were hearing. Not the lies, my dear beautiful spirit, you wove into riddles, parables, ambiguity…your own ambivalence. Even until this day on Earth they still take you literally. Now tell me everyone knows the truth when they hear it.”
“Not my fault!”
“There you go again, Jeez. Of course it was. The fruit of your tree, dear boy, has rotted to the core.”
“Thank you for that; since you feel a need to state the obvious. Besides, I will not do another performance. Once should have been more than enough for me.”
“But it wasn’t, was it? You took many
