Government party had the best of the argument, and thought that maybe if I had staid till the back of the bow-wows against them were up, I might be seduced from my allegiance, and constrained by their speeches to give a vote according to my conscience, as it might be moulded by their oratory.
I will not say, in a very positive manner, that all the members who pair off during the middle of a debate are actuated by the principle of fairness that I was; but some, no doubt, are; for it’s really a hard thing for a man to be convinced by a speech from the Opposition, and yet be obliged, by the principle that attaches him to the Government, to give a vote against his conscience. In short, by the time that the second session was half over, I had managed myself with such a canny sobriety, that my conduct was regarded with very considerable deference. I was a most attentive member, whether in my attendance on committees or in the House; and I carried my particularity to so exact a degree, that even in the number of my daily franks I allowed myself to incur not the loss of one; and I was so severe in the administration of even this small privilege, that I never borrowed a frank from a friend.
It may seem that my correctness in this matter of the franks was a trifle not worth mentioning; but I had my own ends for it. It was the last session of a Parliament; and it is very curious what an insight it afforded me of the puetering that some men that had boroughs to contest carried on; for whenever I saw a friend writing often, and needing many franks to the same borough, I concluded that he had an election purpose to accomplish.
Towards the end of the session, I observed that a young man, Mr. Gabblon, was very industrious, almost every day getting franks; and although I was regular in the smoking-room, he never once applied to me. One day, when I was sitting there by myself, and he came in to get a cover additional to his own, – seeing me alone, he went immediately out, without asking my assistance. This I thought very comical; and it immediately flashed like lightning on my mind, that, surely, he could not be undermining my interest in Frailtown?
It is wonderful to think what queer and ingenious thoughts will come into people’s heads. No sooner did the surmise rise in my mind, than I was moved by an inordinate impulse to learn if there was anything in his correspondence to justify the suspicion, and I was not long left in doubt; for soon after came in another member, with whom I was on the best of footings; and he had a blank cover in his hand, which he addressed at the table and gave out to Mr. Gabblon, who was standing in the lobby. When my friend had done so, I said,
‘That young lad, Mr. Gabblon, has a wonderful large correspondence. What can he be about? for these several days he has been always in want of franks; and yet he is not a man of commerce, but a squire.’
My friend, Mr. Henwick, looked to me very slily, and said, ‘Did I really not know what Mr. Gabblon was about?’
‘No; I don’t trouble myself with other people’s affairs: but it is surprising how men that have no business should have such a correspondence.’
‘Well,’ said Mr. Henwick, ‘what you say is extraordinary. Have you not heard that Mr. Gabblon intends to succeed you in Frailtown; and his correspondence is with the influential people of your own borough?’
‘No possible!’ said I.
‘But it is true,’ said he with a smile; ‘and some of us, seeing you were taking no step, concluded that you intended to retire from Parliament.’
‘This is news, Mr. Henwick,’ replied I, ‘and it behoves me to look after it. I wonder, indeed, what could make him think of cutting me out.’
‘Why,’ said Mr. Henwick, ‘it is reported that Mr. Spicer, who is of great influence with the corporation, is not content with the way in which you are said to have used him.’
‘He’s a d——d ungrateful vagabond. Didn’t I get his son-in-law made the postmaster at Physickspring? I must look to this immediately.’
And with that I rose, and took a hackney coach in Palace-yard, and drove straight to the counting-house of Mr. Probe, the solicitor, determined to sift this abominable parliamenting to the bottom.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Hot as I was at the House of Commons, I yet had time to cool in some degree between it and Lincoln’s Inn Fields, where Mr. Probe had his writing rooms – but not quite to an indifference; so when I reached the place, and went in, I found himself there alone, for it was then past four o’clock; and I said to him as soon as I entered,
‘Mr. Probe,’ quo’ I, ‘what is the meaning of this?’
‘I don’t know,’ replied he; ‘what is it that you mean?’
‘It is just as well, Mr. Probe, to be candid with me,’ said I, ‘and therefore I request to know the cause of Mr. Gabblon having a nefarious correspondence with that unprincipled miscreant, Mr. Spicer.’
‘Has he?’ said Mr. Probe.
‘That he has, and I want to know all the particulars.’
‘Surely you cannot think that I am privy to all Mr. Gabblon’s correspondence?’
‘Do you know, Mr. Probe,’ exclaimed I, waxing warm, ‘that to me it is most unaccountable that he should have this great letter-writing to my borough of Frailtown.’
‘I cannot help it,’ said Mr. Probe; ‘the borough is open to any candidate.’
‘Do you say so, sir? have not I paid for my seat?’
‘Well, sir, if you have, haven’t you your seat?’
‘But, sir, have not I a right of pre-emption for the next Parliament?’
‘I don’t recollect that, sir; nothing was said on that head, and of course I could not but do the best for the corporation, with my Lord’s permission.’
‘And why did you not come to me, sir, before you went to this Mr. Gabblon? – I see very well that I have been cheated of my money.’
Upon my saying which he bounced up like a pea in a frying-pan, and said, with a loud voice and a red face, that he didn’t know what I meant.
‘I thought, Mr. Probe,’ replied I, with a calm sough, ‘that you were a man of more sagacity; but not to waste words, I would just ask if Mr. Gabblon is the new candidate?’
‘He is,’ said Mr. Probe calmly; ‘and as I am engaged for his interest, you must excuse me for not answering more questions.’
I was dumfoundered to hear a man thus openly proclaim his malefactions, and I turned on my heel and came out of the writing-rooms, a most angry man; and so, instead of returning to the House of Commons, I went straight to the neighbouring chambers of Mr. Tough, a solicitor, whom I had observed in a committee as a most pugnacious man, and of whom I said to myself that if ever the time came that I stood in need of an efficacious instrument in a contest, he was the man for my money. Most felicitously, Mr. Tough was within, and also alone; and I said to him with a civil smile, ‘that I thought it would not be long before I would need his helping hand. You see, Mr. Tough,’ said I, ‘that not being entirely well acquainted with the usages of Parliament, I had not thought proper to make a stipulation with the agent of my borough to give me the first offer at the next election; and, in consequence, he became susceptible – you understand – and has gone over to the side of another candidate: now I want you to be my adviser on the occasion.’
Mr.
