to cry. I’m not. If I do, I might never stop. She licks my hand as I tell her, “The general is a total and utter bastard. We thought the High Priest was bad, but the general is a million times worse.”
Aunty Figgy calls down the passage. “Are you nearly done, Ebba? It’s almost dinnertime.”
I sigh, get up and make the bed as best I can with my bandaged arm, wishing it were the end of the day and I could crawl into my own bed and sleep until the nightmare playing in my head is over and the throbbing ache in my shoulder is gone.
The pile of bodies.
Cassie’s gold sandals.
The baby, held so tightly in her mother’s arms.
Hal …
How will I ever get these images out of my head?
At dinner, I’m too upset to eat. I push my stew around the plate. Lucas has joined us at the table, but he’s not eating either. He hasn’t said a word yet. He just stares with those huge eyes. He’s in shock, I can see it.
“What happened with the general?” Fez asks as he eyes my plate of food. “Can I have that if you’re not going to eat it?”
I push the plate towards him. “Be my guest. The general wanted me to join the council.”
Leonid turns to me, his face darkening. “You didn’t agree, did you? Or didn’t you have the balls to refuse?”
My cheeks are burning. “What could I do? And at least it gives me some power. I got him to agree to let out fifty girls. And …”
They stare at me like I’m a criminal.
“And … if I’m on the council, I can find out what happened to Micah, and …”
They’re still frowning. It’s freaking me out.
“And …”
What can I do to show them I’m on their side? Then I remember the papers. I grab them from the dresser and wave them in the air.
“And guess what?” I exclaim, trying to sound cheerful. “None of you need worry about being arrested – we’re all citizens now. Even you, Shorty.”
I pass the papers to Fez, Letti, Shorty and Jasmine.
Jasmine points to the paper I’m still holding. “Who’s that for?”
“Micah. For when he comes back …” My voice shakes slightly.
Leonid’s chair screeches as he pushes it back. He walks out, slamming the door behind him.
Jasmine jumps up. “You bitch. Your own half-brother, and you didn’t think to make him a citizen too? No, you were too busy making sure that your boyfriend was taken care of! And you don’t even know if he’s alive!”
Staring at the shocked faces around me, I go cold. Leonid … and Aunty Figgy – how could I have forgotten them? She’s like a mother to me, and I didn’t even think to ask for her citizenship.
She leans over and squeezes my hand. “Don’t you worry about me,” she says. “I don’t want to be a citizen. I’m a Boat Bayer, and I will be until the day I die.”
Letti is the first to break the mood. “Does this mean we get to stay in the house?” she asks brightly. “If so, I book the room with the pink curtains.”
“And I want the blue one with the bookcases,” Fez says.
I remember how, when I came alone to Greenhaven, straight from the colony, I imagined having my sabenzis in the house with me, each with their own room. Now it’s come true, but I never imagined it would be as difficult as this.
“Where will you sleep, Jas?” Letti asks. “You needn’t share with Aunty Figgy anymore.”
“There’s the yellow room,” Fez says. “That can be your room.”
“Lucas is in the yellow room,” I say, and instantly regret it.
“Actually, you know what?” Jasmine snarls. “I don’t want your stupid citizenship. You can keep it. And your ugly bedroom. I’ll stay one of your servants, like Leonid. I’ll move down to the coach house and share his room. At least I’ll have some integrity.”
Letti gasps. “But you can’t sleep with him. It’s wrong –”
“Don’t be so childish, Letti,” Jasmine snaps.
Throughout it all, Lucas has sat dead still, staring at his untouched plate.
Only his right leg jiggles under the table, faster and faster, and it feels like there’s a swathe of grey energy swirling around him that no one can break through. But suddenly he pushes back his chair, gets up and walks out.
I jump to my feet. “Lucas, stop! Please stop. They don’t mean it. You’re very welcome here, I promise you.” I follow him down the passage and out of the front door. “Please, Lucas …” I beg. “Don’t go.”
But he ignores me, striding across the grass, and the dark forest swallows him up.
CHAPTER 4
When I return to the kitchen, Jasmine has already left for the coach house, taking two plates of food with her.
“I’ll go and talk to her,” Aunty Figgy says, and follows her down the path.
“What’s her problem?” I sigh. “She never used to be so horrible when we lived in the colony. She’s so mean to me all the time. I made a genuine mistake.”
Letti stops eating, and looks at me from behind the spectacles Aunty Figgy has found for her. They make her eyes look huge and round and … guarded? Why is she guarded? What is she holding back?
“What, Letti? Just say it.”
“It’s … it’s …” Her eyes are pleading.
My stomach is knotting. “Come on, Letti,” I snap. “Just tell me, damn it.”
She purses her lips. “It’s that. The way you shout at people. At us. The way you keep showing us that you’re the boss.”
I stare at her. “I don’t. I don’t do that.”
“You do,” she says, and Fez is nodding.
“You do, Ebba,” he says. “And Jas doesn’t like it. She always used to be the leader, when we were sabenzis. She doesn’t like being ordered around.”
“So what am I supposed to do? I am the boss. I didn’t ask to be. I didn’t ask for any of this.” It’s all I can do not to slump down on the table in a miserable heap.
