as good as the company you keep. End of story.
When it came time to get an agent and publish my first book, people told me I was crazy for practically giving up a successful legal career with a guaranteed comfortable income. Trading in a “legitimate” career for blogging, “playing around” on social media, giving what was back then an inordinate amount of “free” advice on weight loss to practically anyone who got in touch with me, freelance writing, and trying to get a book published, all while struggling to pay the bills made no sense to many people in my life. Imagine the kinds of things people said when I was asked to write a second edition. Don’t listen to anyone else when the good guidance inside of you is speaking. Pay attention to cues from within. Ideas that seem to come out of nowhere or things you dream of at night, write them down! They did not come from nowhere. They came directly from your subconscious, your soul, from universal intelligence or “The Other Side.” Honor these thoughts, and believe in them, more than you believe in the negative thoughts other members of the human race are putting into your head. Most people do not yet operate at a high level of consciousness, but everyone has the ability to do so.
Trust Your Intuition!
Start listening to and trusting yourself and your “gut” intuition. Gut intuition can be described as a feeling—either good or bad about something, someone, etc. I’m learning that if I get a bad or uneasy feeling about a particular course of action, I should listen to my gut. Same thing if I get good feelings, the kind that give me goosebumps. These sensations are extra-sensory and are picking up on things like energy that can’t be perceived with the five senses.
You Are Being Guided!
People often talk of a “sixth sense” or thank God or the universe for saving them from whatever. I was nearly hit in what would have likely been game-ending, high-speed, head-on collisions twice in the last ten years driving in Florida (don’t get me started). Both times I miraculously and by the grace of God was able to get out of the way of a car going the wrong way in my lane a second before plowing right into it at full speed. The first time, there was no shoulder, nothing but a steep embankment and a drainage canal off to my right, a line of cars moving the opposite direction to my left, and some wonderful Florida driver just sailing along in my lane, coming straight at me. I had no way out of near certain doom or at least the prospect of life-altering injuries if I managed to survive. If I had even two seconds to “think” about it, I probably would have frozen and not even had time to say, “Dear God,” but something greater than me caused an instinctive response. I calmly tilted the steering wheel a little to the right and my car went slightly off the road for a second, with the oblivious driver flying past me in my lane, averting what likely would have been a catastrophic collision. The second time, my Uber driver did exactly the same thing in a similar situation—and was rewarded with a very generous tip and hug when we reached my destination. Obviously, I am meant to be here telling this story!
Stay Present!
My best advice for tuning into yourself/your soul/universal intelligence is to take time each day and just be still and quiet. I like to sit and meditate, and often meditate while walking in nature. Turn off all distractions. Unplug from the world for a little while. Feel the rhythm of the universe. Walk barefoot on the beach. Listen to the waves. Gaze up at the stars. Get out of your mind and be present. Stop thinking about the past or worrying about the future, and stop over-analyzing things. Keep it simple! It is from this space that we will discover and know our essence, our truth, and find the answers and actions that are right for us, that no other person, no book, no course, nothing else could ever give us.
Surround Yourself with Positive People!
Surround yourself with positive people who have done or are doing courageous or seemingly off-the-wall things that make you stop and say, Wow, why didn’t I think of that? This includes those who can inspire you to dream big and do more with your life and God-given talent.
The positive energy from people who think and dream big, and then go for it, is sure to rub off.
My dad used to tell the story of a guy at his country club on Long Island back in the 1970s who was looking for investors in what he and a couple partners were saying would become a chain of “gigantic hardware stores.” My dad said most of the people were beyond skeptical. The guy was Ken Langone, one of the founders of Home Depot. Bottom line: ignore most if not all the cracks from the peanut gallery, and the next time you come up with what might seem like a crazy idea it might not be so crazy!
Believe in Yourself!
I would have been the first person to bet against Fred Bollaci losing 150 pounds, not just in a year—but ever! I would have bet against a hundred pounds, even losing and keeping fifty pounds off. I was also surrounded by people who would have bet against it too. People who knew me all my life knew I had a problem with my weight. I had been heavy so long that people only saw me as “the fat guy.” I had even forgotten what it was like to be “normal.” After my awakening and challenge from “The Other Side” to get my act together, I was more determined than ever and knew with every fiber of my being that I was not a quitter and would never give up on something I believed strongly in. We have to be our own best friends, champions, and advocates. When everyone else around us is telling us we can’t, we have to show them what we already believe that we can! Unfortunately, this is not always easy.
Never Give Up!
When the home team is losing and a comeback seems unlikely, the stands tend to empty rather quickly. Just like in sports, I never gave up. Even when it seemed like I was a one-man team, I didn’t give up on losing weight or on publishing my book. Neither did God, or the universe, or my soul. It’s like in baseball; I was down to the final strike of my final out when wham, I hit the ball out of the park and won the game! I’ve done this several times in my life. Each time I was literally standing on the edge of what seemed like the great abyss, when, low and behold, I was able to do something that before seemed impossible or a solution miraculously appeared, which led me to places and experiences I never could have imagined. It was like I literally pulled the rabbit out of the same darn hat that I swore had nothing in it. This is where our souls come in. We’ve got all the tools in our toolbox that we could ever need. We just have to trust they are there, and we will be shown exactly what we need at any given time. I now believe everything happens for a reason—the good, and the seemingly bad.
Love Yourself No Matter What!
Had my life not gotten so far “off track” in the first place, had I not gotten to be 150 pounds overweight and been so miserable, I never would have found the impetus to dive deep, find my inner strength, work tirelessly, and stop at nothing to improve my life and find my true purpose, which I am still working toward every day. It turns out my true purpose was definitely not to die prematurely from the effects of obesity.
Any quest to better ourselves and live a healthier, more fulfilling life doesn’t end when we reach a healthy weight. To realize our full potential, our path to a better life will last the rest of our lives. Getting on a healthier, happier path is part of the secret to weight loss success, but whether you need to lose weight or not, anyone can take positive action to improve every area of their lives. Working toward becoming better versions of ourselves is a noble goal, and whatever our background or issues, when we embrace this goal wholeheartedly, we begin to realize that we are miraculous and there is way more to us than exterior stuff, like our weight or our looks. And while getting to a healthy weight and staying there is an important part of being healthy, there is so much more to living a rewarding life than just being at a certain number on the scale or fitting into an old pair of skinny jeans.
Make Self-Love Your Mantra
Start by loving yourself. Okay, maybe liking yourself at first—you will start to love yourself as you get to know and transform the real “you”
