or at risk of violence. You are asked to think about how it felt when you were called down to the boss’s office. You are asked to think about how your life would change if you were to be suddenly fired at this very moment. How would each of these situations feel?
As you consider each of these and the impact they would have on your life, you are encouraged to imagine the experience of living full-time in that feeling. You are asked to then consider how much additional strength it would take to feel this way and then complete your daily tasks and meet the expectations given to you by others. Finally, consider how it might feel if there was a person you could spend time with and a place you could go where those fears were lifted, where your safety was affirmed, and where your goals were supported. This is where you can begin to understand just how much of an impact you, your classroom, your school, and your school district can have on LGBT+ youth, LGBT+ families, and LGBT+ staff.
5
Terminology
As we get ready to begin, people may be on very different levels of understanding about the topics of this book. Additionally, some people believe they understand more than they do, and others probably understand more than they think they do. In a desire for everyone to begin on the same page, let’s start off talking about terminology so that we all move forward together through the rest of the book.
Before we begin with current knowledge, let’s take a moment to discuss the history of the naming of this group of people. We used to see the abbreviation that GLBT (gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender); now we typically see it as LGBT+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender). Why? Many women’s groups argue that GLBT is yet another place where men are placed before women, so it is often considered more inclusive to place “lesbian” before “gay” as in “LGBT.” However, as society and science begin to indicate that gender and sexuality may be more of a spectrum than a set number of boxes a person may check, it is becoming more common to see it listed as LGBT+. That allows for keeping the acronym short while also being the most inclusive possible.
What do professional sources say? This is really crucial because it considers the awareness that the LGBT+ population exists and why it exists, based on fact and on medical research. Too often, when talking about this population, there is an expectation that people’s opinions should dictate how others are perceived. Instead, however, it is vital that we consider what professional associations say about this area in order to ensure that we are behaving based on best practices from science and research, rather than our own personal opinions, biases, or beliefs. (This is not to say that we can’t acknowledge that we have our own opinions, biases, and beliefs; it is simply to indicate that although we have those, it is not our place as educators to impose them on others.)
When looking at this from an educator perspective, we have to consider the ways in which our own personal behavior toward and treatment of those who identify as LGBT+ may be hindering their ability to learn and fully contribute to the academic community of our school, school district, and overall community.
Let’s look at appropriate terminology. This is something that does change often, so you may see some terms that used to not be accepted now being used, and you may also see that some terms that used to be accepted no longer are. Let’s start with the umbrella terms first and then work into what falls under those umbrellas.
Sexual orientation: This refers to someone’s sexual and romantic attraction. Most people have a sexual orientation. (Someone who does not is called asexual.) You can be attracted (romantically, emotionally, and/or sexually) to people of the opposite gender and identify as “straight” or “heterosexual,” or be attracted to people of the same gender and identify as “gay” or “lesbian.” You can also be attracted to people of either gender, which is called “bisexual.” Some people identify as being attracted to a person regardless of their gender. This person would identify as “pansexual.” Some people question whether a sexual experience is required for a person to know their orientation. Although each individual is unique, there are plenty of middle school and high school students who identify their sexual orientation based on the feelings that they have, even if they have not had actual physical contact of a sexual nature.
Gender identity: Gender identity refers to a person’s internal sense of being male, female, somewhere in between, or somewhere completely outside of the gender binary. For many people, one’s gender identity corresponds with their biological facts; in other words, a person has female genitalia, and female DNA, and they identify as female. That makes the person cisgender. On the other hand, a person who identifies as transgender is someone who has external genitalia and DNA that do not match how that person sees themselves and how they identify in the world.
Gender expression: Gender expression relates to how a person chooses to communicate their gender identity to others through their clothing, hairstyles, manners, and behaviors. This may be conscious or subconscious. While most people’s understanding of gender expression relates to masculinity and femininity, the expressions of these can occur in a myriad of ways, typically related to the impact of product marketing, mass media, and gender norms that date back generations. This is why we identify things like lace and glitter as being feminine and things like leather as being more masculine. Some people may choose an item specifically to broadcast their gender identity, and others may choose it because they enjoy it or like the way it feels, even if it does not necessarily correlate with their gender identity.
To summarize, sexual orientation describes who you feel sexually/romantically/emotionally attracted to. Gender identity is the gender that you feel in your brain regardless of your genitalia. Gender expression is what clothing, hairstyle, and mannerisms your conscious or subconscious mind chooses when you present yourself to the world.
Now that we’ve covered the overarching umbrella terminology, let’s look at the terminology under these umbrellas.
Gay: A man who is romantically and sexually attracted to other males. This may also be used as a term that is more inclusive which would encompass gay men, lesbians, and people who identify as bisexual.
Lesbian: A woman whose romantic and sexual attraction is to other women.
Bisexual: A person who is sexually/romantically/emotionally attracted to both men and women, though not necessarily simultaneously. A bisexual person may not be attracted equally to both genders, and the degree of attraction may change over time.
Let’s talk about gender! In present-day American society, there is an overarching norm that gender is binary—that is, that there are two options (male or female). This is decided based on external genitalia. This is what is announced at “gender reveal parties,” as it is based on whether the fetus does or does not have a penis. Sex and gender are not the same thing. Sex is the chromosomal designation of a person’s genetics, whereas gender is a social construct. In other words, it should be called a “sex reveal party,” since no one will know how the child identifies their gender for some time yet!
How is gender guided by society? This begins before a person is even born. It includes when people ask whether the baby is a boy or a girl. It includes when parents begin to envision their child’s future extra-curricular activities (football or ballet, fixing cars or going shopping). It is often used to decide themes for baby showers, to send baby gifts, and to decorate nurseries. Pink and lace for girls; blue and trucks for boys. Check out the baby and child aisles in stores and you’ll see this on full display: lace and ruffles for girls, reinforced knees on pants for boys. Hair and makeup toys in pink packages for girls; wrestling action figures and superheroes in blue packages for boys. In the tween and teen sections of stores, girls’ areas are often filled with sparkly jewelry, whereas boys’ sections have items meant not to stain easily. Everywhere you look, society shows that girls must be petite, delicate, and appearance-based, and boys are meant to be rough and tumble. While this may not
