here tonight, Veronica. If you don’t want to stand out, you should let go of some of what you feel is proper and wrong. This is a night to see what your body and emotions show you as being true.” Grace slid her hand down Lilly’s shoulder to her corseted stomach.
Lilly jumped and stared at Grace’s hands as she slid her fingers to her waist.
“It is better to be fully prepared than have regrets.” Grace leaned forward. “What do you think, Veronica?” Her breath warmed Lilly’s ear as she whispered.
A man would touch her as Grace’s hands had. “Ummm…I—I don’t know.”
Grace turned away from Lilly and went to the window, where she stood and stared out at the night. “I wish I had understood more about our nature when I was your age. What it was like to feed your soul and simply be happy being human. Not what society told you was proper, not what your family said was your responsibility.” Her breath came out loudly. “Our world is society, and even being here ruins you in our peers’ eyes. For some, even if they themselves are here. It is truly such a shame.”
Lilly stared at this woman. Her voice filled with longing, with compassion, with a desire for something that Lilly had no inkling what it was. Her legs wanted to carry her to Grace’s side, to put her hand on her shoulder and tell her all was not so complex. Lilly couldn’t move, though. She was grounded here in this spot by all the swirling fears and uncertainty about how she should act in such a place. She simply listened.
“I understand you look at all the people here and cast judgment on them. Most people do, but if you would simply open your mind a small bit for your brother’s sake, you will see that this is what being human is. This is where adults play games like children do.” Grace’s hand rose and brushed her own cheek.
Is she weeping? Lilly frowned and stared at Grace. What weighed so heavily about Grace? “What do you long for, Grace? I can feel sadness in your words.”
Grace didn’t speak, simply stood still and stared out the window into the night.
Grace’s words from the past hour floated in Lilly’s mind. Grace so wanted to teach Lilly…yet Lilly feared the knowledge she wished her to learn.
Come now, Lilly, you said what came is what came this night. Dress, find Brian, and see what will be.
Lilly reached down, pulled the bloomers up her legs, then tied them about her waist. She never wore such a garment, and without a skirt to cover her legs, she fidgeted a bit. If only they were longer. She held back a giggle. Surely, Lilly, longer bloomers would make all the difference. She shook her head and rolled her eyes.
“I long for the love of a good man. One who knows and can feed the passions within. A man who is not afraid to do and be who he is,” Grace declared.
Lilly stared back at her. Well, that certainly was a reasonable dream. Lilly tied the red cape about her shoulders and played with the edges. “That is not unusual, Grace. We all want passion and love. We should all strive for such things. I simply wish to achieve those in marriage, not outside it.”
Grace turned about, her blue-green eyes big and round and filled with shimmering tears.
Oh, no! Stupid, stupid, Lilly. You have made her cry.
“I—I apologize if I said something rash or mean. I simply know what I want and what I believe in.”
“No, it is not you. This is the first event I have been to since my husband’s death. It is the first time I have come to such a place as a widow, alone, unwed. I had hoped to simply put my dreams aside and have some fun. It is proving to be a bit difficult to forget love was all part of the fun for me.”
Lilly’s stomach sank. “I am sorry for making you feel ill.”
“It is not your fault. Our marriage was never what I thought a marriage would be. I did love him, though.” She reached up and brushed a tear from her cheek.
Lilly frowned. She had loved in her marriage, yet she came to places like this with her husband. Maybe she passed judgment on something she didn’t understand.
“Let’s look at you.” Grace stepped toward Lilly. “You are stunning. All the men assume you know what you are doing here. You need to be prepared to be touched.” She smiled a watery smile. “Be prepared to be shocked by the behavior you will witness this night, and if you feel you need guidance on how you might act, simply watch all the women about you.”
Grace flourished the mask and raised it. Lilly turned about and Grace placed it over her eyes. The cool, thick fabric came down to the tip of her nose and covered her cheekbones. The ties ran over the tops of her ears, and with a few tugs, her deception was fastened.
Lilly inhaled a deep breath. Who was she doing this for? She was doing this for Brian…for Grace…and for herself. If she was honest with herself, she was a bit curious to see what the night brought. Hidden behind this mask, she truly appeared not herself. She could simply play the part. She pushed her struggles with being here to the back of her mind.
“Shall I show you how to place the lemon?”
Lilly stared expectantly into Grace’s still-glossy eyes. Play the part, Lilly. “I see no harm in being prepared. I will not go as far as to need protection, but I should like you to teach me anyhow.” The information could be useful when she did wed.
Grace smiled. “Indeed, Veronica. Every woman should know how.”
4
Grace
Grace walked into the ballroom with her new friend, Veronica. Entirely transformed into a virginal tease, Veronica cautiously turned and headed in the opposite direction as Grace had instructed her. She was unrecognizable from the woman that Grace had found earlier. Her raven hair was pulled back from her face and half her face was partially hidden beneath her mask, which accentuated the innocence she possessed in abundance. The red-and-black bloomers, borrowed from Emma, were a perfect complement to the mask, as well as her white corset.
All the men in attendance were about to see a real treat—a virgin who would act as such. Grace hoped Veronica would listen to her guidance and watch some of what happened here this night.
Grace grasped a glass of claret off a tray as a man passed, standing back to take in the sights she had missed for the past two years.
Her lips curved up into a smile as her eyes settled on a group of women. All of them were masked and wore little clothing. The woman in the center had golden curls that bobbed and sprang as she twirled with a tall, brown-haired girl, her short shift lifting from her body teasing a group of admiring men. Emma. Grace always enjoyed watching her. Her vibrancy for life and pleasure was evident in everything she did.
You are not here for the women, Grace, even if you do enjoy watching them. Not masked, she turned her clear gaze to the men in the room. She needed this to put her marriage behind her and soothe her powerful yearnings, but did she have the courage to do simply that? To simply feel and remember the sensations of being touched, of being desired? Could she do so and not have her emotions get involved? Oscar had always been there, watching from that damn chair….
She closed her eyes and saw his brown hair and deep sable eyes filled with desire lock on hers as Markus slid his cock into her from behind. She trembled. She never removed her gaze from his during any of the
