“Are you kidding?” she questioned as she paced the floor. “I haven’t even finished school. Dion doesn’t have a job. We can’t have kids now. I want to abort.”
Three days later we were at the clinic, scheduling appointments to get rid of our mistakes. We vowed not to mention this to the guys, figuring they would try and talk us out of it.
The nauseating scent of the abortion clinic and the depressing sadness that filled the faces of the many women sitting in the waiting room made it even harder. Eden and I were there for each other, but when they called us into separate rooms I had to be strong. As I placed my feet in the cold stirrups, I knew there was no going back. But when what felt like a vacuum sucked life out of me, I immediately regretted my choice.
Eden nearly went crazy with guilt. She didn’t come out of her room for two days. I could hear her moaning and crying, but there was nothing I could do for her. She shut me out. And we shut out the guys by not answering their calls.
The third day after our procedures, I went to pick up some Chinese food for us. Eden loved shrimp fried rice. When I returned to the apartment, I was surprised to see her sitting in Dion’s lap.
“We can have other children,” he said, consoling her.
Angrily I asked, “You told him. Why’d you break our…”
To my surprise, Max came from behind the door and cut me off. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I was so upset with Eden. It was one thing for her to share her business with her man, but she crossed the line when she let Max know what I’d done to our child.
“Eden, how could you?” I said as I placed the food down and headed to my room.
Max followed me down the hall. I tried shutting my door in his face, but that didn’t work. He pushed it open.
“Eden didn’t tell me, Dion did. And when you didn’t return my calls the last few days I was worried. I knew there was a chance we could be pregnant.” Max said, revealing new info. “And I was ready to accept my responsibility if that was the case. But you didn’t give me a choice, did you? You ended our baby’s life without even telling me.”
It was clear by Dion’s loving support of Eden that he’d forgiven her. Max, on the other hand, couldn’t forgive me. I was feeling bad enough about my decision, but his reaction made me feel worse.
“I thought you cared about me and understood what I would want,” he went on. “But how could a woman who loved me kill my child?”
“It wasn’t that simple,” I pleaded, wanting him to hear me out.
“Well, no need to explain now. You made your bed, now lie in it—without me. We’re through.”
Then he just walked out on me. I’d killed my baby and my relationship. My choice still haunts me. Eden and I didn’t speak for a few weeks after that, but then she came to me with sincerity, telling me how awful she felt.
“Chris, I never meant for Dion to open up to Max. And I actually thought Max would have been there for you. I’m so sorry. I’ve made mistake after mistake, but I want to make things right. My baby is gone forever. I can’t lose my best friend, too.” Tears welled up in Eden’s eyes.
I hugged her and we were cool from then on. Truthfully, I needed her support to help me move on without the guy I loved. Unfortunately for me, Max had remained good friends with Eden and Dion. They were so close, in fact, that Max was going to be Dion’s best man.
I hadn’t seen Max in three years. Eden and Dion had set us up on a reunion date, trying to get us back together. We’d had a little fling, but Max wasn’t ready for commitment. My stomach churned at the thought of seeing him again.
When I arrived at the Atlanta airport at five in the afternoon, I rented a little blue economy car and drove straight to the rehearsal at the United Methodist Church. I’d been there with Eden several times during my college days. Though a few years had passed, the town hadn’t changed. The wide-open space was a breath of fresh air. Though I loved the city life in D.C., I also appreciated the countryside. I found the church without even looking at a map.
When I pulled into the parking lot, Eden was closing the trunk of a car. I honked and she screamed. I couldn’t park fast enough.
Eden opened my door when I stopped. “Christian, you’re here! Thank God. I need you. This is so stressful.”
I got out and we hugged. Though we talked extensively at least once every month, it had been a little over a year since I’d seen her. She’d come up to D.C. for two weeks the summer before last to stay with me as a getaway from Dion and her job. She had been an elementary-school teacher since college, and even though she loved kids, she was ready for a break by the time the school year ended.
When I asked her about her excitement, she didn’t respond. I wondered if she was having second thoughts about marrying Dion.
“We can get in this car right now and drive far away from here. Just say the word,” I said.
“I can’t leave.” Tears flowed down her face. I hugged her, then stepped back to take a good look at her. She and I were the same height, five-foot-six, and her skin was a few shades lighter than mine. But something about her seemed a little homelier than I remembered. Her clothes were so dowdy, not at all cool. Her thick auburn hair wasn’t stylishly cut, and tiny wrinkles creased the corners of her eyes and the edges of her lips.
“Okay—you’re staring, Chris,” Eden said as she looked away. “I know I look tore up. You just don’t know how much hell I’ve been going through.”
I grabbed her hand and made her face me. “Tell me why you look so tired.”
“This is just so much. I feel smothered. I want everything to be right and it seems like everything is going wrong.”
She went on to tell me that one of her bridesmaids had cancelled yesterday, and more of her relatives came into town than they had booked hotel rooms for. The flowers were going to cost more than originally expected, and she was all out of funds.
“What am I gonna do?” she asked, squeezing her head with her hands.
“You’re going to take a deep breath and relax. Eden, this is your time for happiness and nothing should steal your joy.” I reached down inside the car and pulled out my checkbook from my Coach bag. “How much do you need?”
“I can’t let you do this,” Eden said, trying to close the book.
“Like I need your permission,” I said, moving the checkbook away from her. “It’s not every day your best friend gets married. And with my boring life, I’ve got a few dollars I’m not using.”
Eden was reluctant to give me an amount, so I handed her a check for one thousand dollars. Since I hadn’t gotten a gift for the couple, this worked out for me, too.
“Consider this a wedding present. And remember, nothing is going to spoil your happiness during this special time.”
She clutched her chest upon seeing the amount. “You are a blessing! God will take care of you.”
I
