Shawn. “I’m about to have company.”
“I heard.” He tilted his head slightly. “So, did that dress make him as uncomfortable as you’d hoped?”
I laughed. “I don’t know.”
“Okay, well, I’ll be across the hall if you need me.”
“Thanks and you can just pick the best bid for the door and let me know what my half is.” I walked with him to the door and opened it. Connor was standing there. “Hey, come in.”
Connor glared at the two of us and backed up a step to let Shawn by. My new neighbor had barely closed his door when Connor spoke. “Who the hell is he?”
“My new neighbor.” I shut my door and glared at him. “A cop and my old neighbor’s grandson. What’s it to you?”
“He comes out of my woman’s apartment half-dressed, it’s my concern.”
I glared at him briefly and shook my head. Taking off my shoes, I walked toward my bedroom to get into some comfortable clothes. “Look, Connor, I realize that you aren’t used to being left by a woman, but you aren’t going to turn into a psycho on me, are you?”
“No.” He glared at me from the doorway of my bedroom and frowned. “Look, you walk out on me after a great evening, disappear for two weeks, and then come back only to act like you barely know me.”
I grabbed a T-shirt and a pair of flannel pants from a drawer and glared at him briefly before slipping past him to go into the bathroom to change. When I emerged he was standing, waiting. “Great evening? We fucked all night and then I woke up, came into the living room, and found you on the phone with God-knows-who talking about me like I’m a piece of ass off the street.”
“You misunderstood.”
“The hell I did.” I pushed my finger into his chest. “No, man, she’s just a good time. You know me, I can’t get tied down.” It hurt to even repeat the words; hearing them the first time had been devastating. “I know nothing about you that matters and now I don’t want to know.”
“I respect and care for you, Casey. You have to know that. Men say stupid shit to their friends.”
I wanted to smack his face. “Care for me? Respect me? A man that respects me wouldn’t have told his friend that I was just a good time.”
That night, I’d left his apartment and cried the whole way home. I’d never felt so dirty or used in my entire life and a part of me hated him for it.
“I never promised you anything serious.”
“That’s right.” I glanced over my shoulder briefly before going into the kitchen. “You didn’t promise me a thing.” I emptied out the grocery bags and he stood there silent. When I couldn’t take the silence anymore, I turned to him and sighed. “We really don’t have anything to discuss, Connor. We fucked for a while and now that is over.”
“I like being with you.”
“But I hate myself for even thinking about being with you,” I spat out before I could help myself. “I let you use me. You certainly aren’t the first man and I can’t even really blame you. Hell, most men wouldn’t turn down pussy with no demands.”
“I’ve never seen you as just a piece of ass.”
“Do you love me?”
He jerked as if I’d hit him.
“Do you see a future with me?” I demanded. “How about babies?”
“Oh, for the love of God, Casey. Aren’t you a little old for fairy tales?”
“No, I’m a little old for sex games.” I tossed the perishables onto the first empty shelf of the fridge and slammed it shut. “I’m too old to get a three a.m. phone call from a man who just wants his dick sucked.”
“Fuck you, I never asked you for that.”
I laughed at his indignant tone and expression. “No, I don’t suppose you did. But you certainly didn’t turn it down.”
“Well, I’m not daft. Just a little stupid when it comes to women.” He sat down on the couch when I sat down in my favorite chair. “I don’t think I’m built for love, Case.”
He’d called me Case for so long in his clipped British tone that it almost made things feel normal. As if I’d never heard him talking on the phone that night.
“You just aren’t built to love me,” I whispered softly; relieved that I’d never come close to being in love with him. “We’re using each other and it’s got to stop. It has to go away, Connor. I can’t take it.”
He stood, walked to me, and knelt on the floor in front of me on both knees. I glanced down at my hands as he took them and kissed the palm of each one carefully.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what?” I asked softly.
“For not being the man you need or deserve.”
I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. “We just aren’t good for each other. But we can move past this and it can be like it was before we went to bed together.”
He laughed softly. “Don’t be naïve. I’ll never look at you without remembering you spread out on my bed waiting to be fucked.”
“Dirty boy.” I grinned and relaxed. So, maybe things could get back to somewhere civilized.
2
My new neighbor is a jogger. The kind of jogger women plan their mornings around. I encountered him, sweaty and wearing a pair of little red shorts, when I was leaving for work. He’d held the door for me, told me I looked great, and disappeared inside. For the love of God, I had no idea how I was going to get anything done, ever again.
By the time I’d gotten to the gallery, I’d managed to push Shawn and Connor both out of my mind enough to actually think. The few looks I’d caught from people told me that everyone was curious about my sudden departure and return; but the only people that needed to know why knew and even understood. I glanced toward Jane’s office. The blinds were open and she was staring at her computer screen like it was cursing her out. She looked out at me and motioned me to come in.
Great, she was going to share the pain. I grabbed my handheld and went into what most of the staff considered the lion’s den. Jane was a great boss, but she was also something of a taskmaster and some people found her difficult to please. I pulled the door shut behind me and sighed.
“Inquiring minds?”
“No questions as yet.” I walked to the grouping of chairs in front of her desk and picked one out. “What are you staring at?”
“Kenneth Victor.”
Yuck. I hated that guy. “No.”
Jane chuckled. “He’s good money for the foundation and you know we can’t ignore
