believed you would be a good leader to convince you to go.”
Ranulf’s mouth transformed into a firm, unyielding line. “I am loyal to Henry, but that does not mean I am blind to his…personality traits. The man is cunning and intelligent, but he is far from generous and only a half-wit would think him benevolent. He had his own reasons for ‘convincing’ me, as you put it, to assume my latest role.”
“And they were not for the good of his people?”
“Not exactly. More like I am to bring and keep the peace. And if that helps those that live there, then good, but more importantly, Henry seeks stability…and William a throne.” England had been suffering from a civil war for almost nineteen years and its people were longing for a strong government. Most of the English noblemen would support Henry, but altruistic peace was not what the new king sought. His brother also desired a throne and Henry intended to give him Ireland, and to do that, he needed his armies free, not fighting to maintain his sovereignty.
Laon twitched his mouth and after a moment agreed. “Making William lord of a conquered Ireland would occupy him, at least for a while. Of course, the king will need to get the newly elected Pope Adrian to agree.”
“Henry will get the blessing. The Pope’s English born and quite aware of who the duke is and just what power he wields.”
“It seems you have a great understanding of just what the king seeks and why. Does such understanding extend to yourself?”
“I know myself well enough,” Ranulf clipped, instantly regretting the rash response.
“Then just what power do you yield, Lord Anscombe?” Laon asked, turning to look Ranulf directly in the eye. “More importantly, just what do you intend to do with your authority?”
There they were. The first of today’s several probing questions. Looking inwardly and analyzing one’s own psyche was not a pastime Ranulf indulged in and he did not intend to start now. “Besides get some sleep?” Ranulf quipped back.
A bushy gray brow popped up. “Should I ask?”
“Not if you want answers.”
Laon issued Ranulf a slight shrug, indicating he wouldn’t press the issue, but was still interested in understanding the truth behind Ranulf’s attempt at a jest. Instead, Laon returned to the original point he had been trying to make. “So the king wants a peacemaker, and I and your people desire a fair leader who will guide and aid them when times are tough, which have been many of late. But what do you want?”
Ranulf did not respond because he was not sure of his answer. To return to his life? That wouldn’t be fair to his men, and in truth, fighting was not fulfilling work, it was numbing. Ranulf was a good commander, some even claimed he was one of the best, but the feeling of reward and accomplishment with victory had long left him.
Laon waited for either an answer or an impulsive remark, but getting neither, he pushed on, refusing to allow Ranulf avoid the point he was trying to make. He gestured toward Ranulf’s missing eye and said, “You survived an injury that changed your perceptions, of both the world and those you encounter. You have felt life’s injustice and, for years, used your pain and anger to wield a sword in battle. Now you have the chance and the power to change people’s lives. You just need to decide what you are going to do. And remember, even doing nothing has consequences.”
“Why do you care?”
“Because four of those lives belong to myself and my three daughters.” Laon stood up, gave a brief nod of respect, and then disappeared into the rooms hidden beneath the platform. Ranulf stayed where he was, staring blankly out at the stormy sea.
Laon was right. By accepting the title, benefits, and responsibilities of being Lord Anscombe, he had assumed a position of power. And he had considered it from everyone else’s viewpoint, but his own. His men needed a home, his king wanted peace, the people whom he was to oversee needed a protector, but just what did he want to do with all that came with being a noble? For it mattered no longer that he didn’t want the power. He had it.
And just like the old man said, he could choose action or no action—but either would mean change.
The next morning began similarly to the others. Ranulf rose, ate enough stale bread and mead to steady his stomach, and then went to see about the keeping of his horse. He entered the stable area and the large black destrier swung his head around in welcome. In doing so, Pertinax revealed another visitor. Sir Laon le Breton. Yesterday, the old man had finally stopped trying to pry into Ranulf’s conscience and motivations, talking instead about himself, his family, and life in northwest England.
Ranulf approached Pertinax just as the boat unexpectedly lurched, causing him to take a quick couple of balancing steps. Laon, still unable to compensate for any sudden rise and fall of the ship, tumbled into the large horse, which snorted a loud and very cross whinny.
Laon steadied himself and huffed, “Your horse is quite unhappy.”
“He likes the sea even less than you.”
“Doubtful, but I am surprised you brought him. I would have thought the king would have supplied you with a dozen horses if you but asked.”
Ranulf arched the brow over his good eye. Laon was unusually cross today. “Maybe, but Pertinax knows me.”
Laon’s mouth formed a brief “oh” before closing. Over the past few days, he had begun to grasp the impact of losing one’s eye. Limited sight was not just a learning curve to be overcome and surpassed, but an impediment with daily repercussions Ranulf experienced in almost all actions, conversations, and activities. Without two eyes in which to pinpoint exact distance, reaching out to take what was offered or pour some ale into a mug was not as straightforward as Laon had initially perceived. After years of compensating for his injury, Ranulf could easily make those around him forget that these were indeed challenges he addressed every day. And his horse Pertinax was one of those supports enabling him to smoothly interact with the world.
“You’re right. I should have realized just what your horse means to you,” Laon grunted, rubbing his face vigorously with his hands. “I shamelessly blame lack of sleep for my thoughtless remark. I can finally keep my food down, but I like my bed to be firm and unmoving. My tired state is something you are quite familiar with, I suspect.”
Ranulf ground his teeth together and followed Laon back up on deck where, when not raining, they spent their mornings. Details of his sleep, or lack of it, Ranulf had been careful to keep to himself. No one, not even he, would be comfortable following the orders of a man who never slumbered more than a handful of hours a night. Almost all men could function tired, but after a while irrationality set in and emotional control eroded away. Each man had his limit, and Ranulf used to wonder when he would reach his. But it had been years since he had enjoyed more than four hours of sleep at a time, and even then he rarely went into a deep unconscious state. He wasn’t plagued by nightmares, just the inability to be at complete ease. To be vulnerable.
“Is that one of your men?” Laon asked, pointing to a young man with muscular arms built from months, if not years, of swinging a sword.
Ranulf twitched his jaw. “I did not think them obvious.”
“They aren’t, but too many times have I seen one of them glance your way, not in curiosity, but with desire for direction. That makes about two dozen on board, unless you have more traveling on the other ships making their way to England,”
