aside. “Do not call me that.”
“You use to like that name.”
“That was also a long time ago.”
“Not so long,” he whispered. He gazed out into the garden as if lost in some distant memory. His attention returned to her. “I am waiting for some kind of response from you, Lady Belinda.”
In spite of her need to keep him at a distance, her heart ached when he used the formal address. Her first instinct was to tell him to go to hell and leave her alone, but that would only provoke him. She lied instead. “I have been at a ball. There was some problem with the carriage, and I was required to walk part of the way. I fell in the mud and some of it must have splattered my face when my dress was ruined.”
He frowned. “And the bruise?”
Deep creases around his full lips drew her in. Desire to tell him everything bubbled in her gut. She shrugged. “I’m sure it is only dirt. The moonlight makes it seem more dire, and you are exaggerating the situation greatly.”
“I see. Is this all the explanation I can expect?”
“It is what I am willing to say, my lord.” She turned and walked to the house. The door opened just as she arrived and she slipped inside before her fiancé could say more.
“I thought he’d never let you go, milady,” her maid said. She took the tattered cape from Belinda’s shoulders.
“He is angry, Claire.” Belinda sat down heavily on the stool so her maid could remove her muddy boots before she tracked up the entire house. No need for all the servants to begin asking questions.
“He has a right to know what you’ve been up to.” Claire dropped one boot with a heavy thud.
“Perhaps, but I cannot tell him, regardless of his rights. He would not understand and probably could not believe me anyway. He’d have me sent to Bedlam. He will have to remain in the dark. Besides, what would I say? That while he was away fighting Napoleon, I was quite busy battling the demons that are taking over England?”
“It’s a start.” Claire shrugged, but her Irish brogue dripped with reproach.
“I think not. Just run me a bath, Claire. I’m tired, bruised and I just want a hot bath and a warm bed.
“What happened tonight, milady? We expected you hours ago. I’ve already sent Tubbs out looking for you.” Claire tucked all the soiled and torn items into a bundle for laundering, and if possible, mending.
“I hope he does not run into any demons while looking for me.”
Claire patted her shoulder. “He’ll be fine. Not to worry. Tubbs can fend for himself.”
* * * *
Belinda woke to a chilled room. The chair in the corner creaked against the floor. “Claire?”
She rolled over to see who was in the dark room and why the window had been opened.
He was still as a cat, sitting in a small chair by her writing desk. One leg stretched out in a relaxed pose, but even with only the fire to light him, he looked ready to pounce. Anyone else might have seen a man at his leisure, but she knew him. He gripped the arms of the chair and his eyes narrowed. There was a movement along his jaw where it ticked whenever control of his temper stretched too far. It was rare for her fiancé to lose his temper.
Her heart pounded and her hands shook. She gripped the covers trying to still her nerves.
“Gabriel?”
“I see you’ve remembered my given name, my lady.” His voice was low and dangerous.
“Are you drunk?” She sat up and leaned against the headboard pushing the mass of unruly hair from her face.
“Drunk? No.”
“What are you doing in my bedroom, my lord? How did you get in here?”
He stood up so suddenly, she gasped and pulled the sheet up around her neck. In two steps, he’d crossed the room and loomed over her bed.
“Why don’t you scream?” he asked.
“I…I am not afraid of you, my lord.” She could have kicked herself for showing any sign of fear.
“You should be.” He touched her cheek so lightly she might have dreamt it.
The touch sent a bolt of lightning directly between her legs. Belinda shifted uncomfortably. “Gabriel, what do you want?”
He sat down on the edge of her bed and put his head in his hands. “What do I want?”
Oh, how she wanted to reach out and comfort him, but she held back waiting to hear him explain.
“I want what I lost. I want four years of my life back. I want a wife who has kept herself pure while I was away risking my life for our country.” He narrowed his gaze on her.
She had never seen such pure anger from him before, and for the first time she feared him just a little. She shook her head. This was Gabriel. He would never hurt her. Pushing aside her covers, she moved to sit next to him on the bed. “You cannot regain the past, my lord. Those four years are gone forever.”
“They are with me still.” His eyes darkened, a crease formed between them, and he looked away.
His words stirred an ache deep in her chest.
“I’m sorry.” She touched his arm, truly sad for whatever horror he was reliving.
He gripped her hand. “And the other, Belinda?”
“I do not know what you mean.”
“Do not toy with me.” Low and soft, danger dripped from his words. He released her.
Had so much time passed that she truly did not know the man with whom she’d grown up? She did not fear for her life, but suddenly he’d become unpredictable.
Sitting up straight, she looked him directly in the eye. “If you are asking if I have ruined myself, then the answer is that I have not.”
The surprise in his eyes jabbed painfully in her heart. He actually believed that she would let men use her body.
She wanted his lack of faith in her not to hurt, but it did, and she had to will her sorrow away before he saw it. She stood up and plucked her robe from the end of the bed. “No need to look so surprised, my lord.”
“Where were you this evening?” His fist pounded on the mattress.
“I have already told you.”
“Yes, but you lied, Bella. I have known you most of my life and I know when you are lying.”
“I asked you not to call me that.” The view out the window afforded nothing but the dark gardens below.
She had not heard him move, but his skin radiated so much heat, she became aware of his presence
