away. He wanted revenge, and he took revenge. What else is needed? Why would he hug him!
He gave himself a vow to no longer think about Nikto, not even look in his direction.
Nikto didn’t take any initiative either. As if nothing had happened. Arel hugged him, Arel talked to him. He sat at Arel’s feet, and laid a shaggy head on his lap. And he did not look at Lis. Why did he need Lis?!
And Lis didn’t know, simply didn’t know how to eradicate these thoughts from his consciousness, how to stop thinking about him.
Come again, just talk? What a stupid excuse! With such an excuse you cannot deceive even yourself, even if you really want to be deceived. Lis was disgusting to himself, he convinced himself that he was simply ridiculous. No, of course, it was not love! Not even sympathy! Unrequited feelings? Excluded! Just… Just, he wanted… He wanted Nikto to knock on his door the same way that Lis knocked on that ill-fated evening to him.
He wanted Nikto to come to him. Maybe for revenge. Never mind. Then Lis would have recouped! He would just throw Nikto out. Why does he need this… this misunderstanding, subhuman, let Arel continue to mess with him. But Lis would not even listen to him, he would immediately point to the door. It may even be polite. Polite and indifferent.
But Nikto didn’t come. In waking life.
He began to come into his dreams. And it was completely terrible.
A thin stream of cold rusty water banged against the bottom of an old iron bath. Probably, only Lis in the rooms still had some semblance of a water supply. Uncomfortably bent, and putting the back of the head and crown under this stream, Lis rubbed and rubbed his hair, soaping and washing off again and again. The crooked-footed bathtub, once polished to a shine, had long been rusty. The rust was ginger and the
trickle of water was ginger. Only Lis’ hair, no matter how hard he tried, never acquired its original shade.
Lis scolded himself again. Feeling sick and having a hard sleep knocked him out of the rut. This, of course, no one saw, but he was ashamed of this weakness even before himself. Now he will put himself in order, put on his face his usual mask of arrogant contempt, and not Arel, nor Enriki, nor anyone else, will ever guess what is really happening to him.
Now he will go to Nikto and tell him everything! Everything that he thinks about him. He will achieve recognition. Let Nikto explain to him whom Lis was fucking, a demon or a human, and who Nikto is, a demon or a human. And why all that was between them. Why was all this? Let him explain. Why did he do this, why did he allow it, and what does he want.
And what does Lis want? And Lis understood that he was afraid to answer this question even to himself, and this feeling of weakness infuriated him and made him angrier more than everything else taken together.
And he also understood that he didn’t have to go to Nikto, no way! And he could not help but go.
Chapter four
Visiting
Lis was walking down the hall when he saw Tol. Involuntarily Lis pulled himself together, looking around, however, he immediately relaxed. Firstly, there was absolutely nowhere to hide in an empty and straight corridor. It was too late to look for the unlocked door. Secondly, Lis even wanted to meet someone who could distract him from these endless exhausting thoughts. Of course, the very last he wanted to meet this morning was Tol. But he didn’t have to choose. Tol could distract him. Hold up. Get lost in thought. Yes, anything just to prevent Lis from reaching where he was heading. And it was a chance.
Seeing Lis, Tol sincerely rejoiced, waved his hands so that he stopped and waited for him. And Lis stopped. And already for this he was grateful to the idiot Tol, and was ready to listen to his next nonsense.
“I brought the meat!” Tol cried joyfully, from afar. Spreading hands, as if wanting to hug Lis, grab him, like welcoming a friend. Lis recoiled, rather abruptly. Tol obediently stopped, and stood in front of Lis as if rooted to the spot, shining with his narrow deep-set eyes. One eye is brown, and the iris of the second is half brown and half green.
“I brought the meat,” he repeated joyfully.
Lis didn't give a damn about the meat. He didn’t understand what this moron was talking about to him. He didn’t give a shit about meat and Tol, and generally about everything except… And Lis asked:
“What kind of meat?” In the soul he was cursing Tol and thanking him at the same time.
“Meat for barbecue!”
“I see, get the hell out of here,” Lis thought, and said: “Where did you get it?”
“The owner of Backara gave it to me! After all, today is a holiday, do you know?!”
Yes, yes, Lis was in the know of some regular religious holiday of “blacks”, “Spring Day” or “Day of some sacred tree”, or “Some kind of a motherfucker day”. There is only one meaning, endless sacrifices and donations to temples, and universal blessed fun. Lis didn't give a shit.
“Yes, of course I’m in the know.”
“Well! How many times have I asked Arel! The weather is warm! We must get out, if not to the river, so at least sit in the garden. Fry meat!”
Yes, Lis remembered it, Tol has been mumbling about it to Arel for the past week. Arel sent him to hell. And he did it right. Tol generally needs only to be sent to hell. “Tol, fuck you!”
“Do you want me to help you persuade Arel?”
“No!” Tol rejoiced. “I have already persuaded him! He allowed everything! Tonight we will have a barbecue! I already ordered the cook and servants to pickle it in the kitchen!”
“But won’t they themselves devour it?”
Tol looked at Lis a little surprised, then laughed: “Good joke!”
“Do you think they will not eat it? What a joke! Or now only human meat should be given to them? Legs of beautiful young girls…”
“And what kind of meat?”
“Lamb! Lamb, still very young!” Tol sincerely rejoiced and answered Lis, not noticing either his sour appearance or his absent glance. He believed that Lis was really interested. It just could not be not interesting! And no matter what Lis was a narcissistic and arrogant type, not seeing anything around, except for his beloved person, THIS should have been interesting even to him. Tol didn’t doubt it.
“Lamb?” “Yes!”
“And legs too?”
“Legs?! No, why the legs! Al! You don’t understand anything in barbecue, legs don’t go for barbecue. Legs are possible if only in aspic…”
And Tol delved into the subject. And Lis stood and thought that only Tol, and only between them, calls him Al. Shortens his surname – Alis. Because they are paired. Because he insures Lis in battle. Covers him. And sometimes she shouts loudly and quickly to him during a fight. Apparently
