a clue that they are not 100 per cent behind the undertaking is the propensity of the squeaky hairless bastards to disappear as quickly as their fins will carry them at the first sight of some idiot in a wetsuit. And since there’s a fair-to-middling chance that if that dolphin does let you get close to it, it’s because it is actually a basking shark which could literally swallow you whole, you might just change your mind when you get close enough to realise just what you’ve done. Those stories you hear about dolphins protecting divers from shark attacks? Total propaganda. Any dolphin witnessing such an attack will do nothing but hang around on the sidelines watching and laughing as the stupid unwanted human gets what’s coming to him for messing about in shark-infested waters.
There’s a clue in the word ‘infested’. Nothing ‘infested’ is nice. You don’t get ‘balloon-infested’ parties. No one describes a summer as ‘holiday-infested’. Sharks, they ‘infest’ like it’s going out of fashion. Stay away from them and their snide dolphin mates.
And another thing, if dolphins are so clever how come:
a) They keep swimming into tuna nets
b) They haven’t invented anything. Not even spoons. Answer me that.
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