glad you’re here, Cami. Your father was right to have you come with me.”
“Thanks,” I say, slightly mollified.
“We’ll make the alcove nice for you, and make sure you have room for your things. You can share my closet. I can give you that whole upstairs bathroom.”
“No, that’s your space. We’ll figure out the bathroom thing somehow. Don’t worry.” Okay, this sucks.
“Good,” she says. “Ready to go?”
We continue our trek to the hospital, but both of us are quiet. Estella’s probably thinking about Julian. I’m thinking about him, and losing my room to him. But also, I’m thinking a little bit about my mother—my real mother. She disappeared from our lives when I was eight. She just left. Because of a man. Because she couldn’t take my father or me, I don’t know. Maybe she just hated Vermont. She never calls us. I have no idea where she is now. Does Estella want to fill that role for me, or is this bedroom thing her way of trying to squeeze me out of her and Dad’s life? She has her son and nephew, her own family. And I’m almost eighteen already. I just can’t tell where I stand with her yet. And now, apparently, we’ll be throwing a wounded Marine into the mix.
“Did Julian join up right after high school?” I ask, out of sheer curiosity. The hospital’s just up ahead.
“Yes, he did. He could have had his choice of colleges, but he made up his mind to enlist.” She sighs. “He’s been in the Marines for almost two years now.”
“He’s twenty?”
“Just turned. Let’s go. I want to find out what’s happening.”
We head inside and make our way back to Julian’s room. As we approach the door, I hear voices and cross my fingers that Julian won’t scream at her again. I don’t care if he screams at me, just not at Estella.
“I have to speak to Julian’s doctor,” Estella says. She looks at me like she’s waiting for me to do something about this.
“Okay,” I say uncertainly. “I’ll see if I can track him down for you.”
She goes into a sort of brief trance and then snaps out of it and enters Julian’s room. I watch her, fearing for her sanity and realizing more than ever that my father was right to have me come with her. When a nurse passes, I ask her if we can see Julian’s doctor. Her answer isn’t very promising. I slip into the room just to share the news that the doctor will come as soon as he finishes his rounds, however long that takes, and Estella turns and Julian falls into my line of vision and I’m horrified all over again. I try to hide it, but I’m not that experienced at masking such huge reactions.
“Hey, Julian,” I say with fake cheer.
Estella forces a smile, and Julian says, “Get her out.” He says it quietly this time. He turns his face away.
“I brought some German chocolate for you,” I tell him. I actually brought it for myself, but I want him to have it. I leave it on the wheelie half table that goes over his bed. “It’s a bit bitter. But very rich.”
Julian’s hand covers his eyes. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
Estella ushers me out of the room. I’m babbling some kind of apology and she’s humoring me instead of being in the room with him like she wants. I excuse myself, head for the lobby and text Taryn, my best friend who’s currently in Los Angeles studying acting at a prestigious summer arts program.
Guess where I am? I type.
PARIS? She replies. LONDON? CANNES? OMG!!! ARE YOU HERE IN L.A.???
NO, I text her. I’m at the military hospital in Bethesda.
HUH? WHY?
Estella’s nephew’s just been flown in from Afghanistan.
HOT MARINE? she texts.
No! He’s a mess. He lost one leg, broke the other...broken nose...neck brace.
I have to wait awhile for the reply. HOT WOUNDED MARINE??
He’s a TRAIN WRECK and a major jerk. He yells at Estella and throws things.
HOT WOUNDED MARINE—WITH ATTITUDE?? Taryn texts.
I roll my eyes and grin, shake my head. You’re insane, you know this.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, I GOTTA GO BRING ON THE CRAZY (ACTING CLASS ;). WAIT, WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE WHEN HE’S NOT A MESS? ACH! STOP DISTRACTING ME WITH STORIES OF HOT, HARD AND WOUNDED PISSED-OFF MARINES! I HAVE TO GO TO CLASS!!!
It feels good to laugh.
Taryn’s crazy—in a great way. Crazy-talented at acting, too. She recently signed with an agent in L.A. who’s sent her on a few auditions, but no big breaks yet. I read my book, and eventually Estella comes in and sits next to me. “Julian is going in for surgery any minute now.” Her face seems to crease up like an accordion, just fold into itself.
“Hey,” I say, as soothingly as I can. “Hey, don’t worry. It’s a good thing. He’ll have a bionic leg. Just think of it.”
“I’m trying not to.”
“It’ll be fine.”
She squeezes my hand. “I have to go back. I don’t want him taken into surgery without me knowing it.”
“I’ll be here.”
“I’ll come get you and we can wait together for him,” she says.
“Sure.”
She goes back to wait with him and I call Luke.
“Hey you,” he says. “How’s it going down there?”
“It’s going okay. I wish I was home.”
“I wish you were home too. How’s what’s-his-name, the nephew?”
“He’s a mess.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean his right calf is missing, and his left leg is broken. He’s in surgery getting it fixed now. It’s awful. He yelled at us both to leave the room. Estella burst into tears.”
“How are you holding up?”
“Fine. Estella took some kind of sleeping pill last night and I was worried she’d killed herself.”
“Yeah, try not to let her kill herself.”
“Thank you. How’s work?”
“It’s lonesome. Boring. All the eye-candy is gone.”
I can’t help but smile. “I’m not eye-candy.”
“Yes
