naturally, as president. They said they hoped Dinah would not feel that our humble efforts were beneath her dignity and that she would grace our little performance. And you, Henry, they particularly mentioned you.’
‘Thank you,’ said Henry solemnly. Miss Campanula darted a suspicious glance at him and went on:
‘They seem to think they’d like to see me making an exhibition of myself with all the rest of you. Of course, I don’t pretend to histrionic talent –’
‘Of course you must have a part, Idris,’ said Miss Prentice. ‘We depend upon you.’
‘Thank you, Eleanor,’ said Miss Campanula; and between the two ladies there flashed the signal of an alliance.
‘That makes five, doesn’t it?’ asked Miss Prentice sweetly.
‘Five,’ said Miss Campanula.
‘Six, with Dr Templett,’ said Henry.
‘We should be very glad to have Dr Templett,’ rejoined Miss Prentice, with so cunningly balanced an inflection that her rejection of Mrs Ross was implicit in every syllable.
‘Well, a GP’s an awkward sort of fellow when it comes to rehearsals,’ said Dr Templett. ‘Never know when an urgent case may crop up. Still, if you don’t mind risking it I’d like to take part.’
‘We’ll certainly risk it,’ said the rector. There was a murmur of assent followed by a deadly little silence. The rector drew in his breath, looked at his daughter who gave him a heartening nod, and said:
‘Now, before we go any further with the number of performers, I think we should decide on the form of the entertainment. If it is going to be a play, so much will depend upon the piece chosen. Has anybody any suggestion?’
‘I move,’ said Miss Campanula, ‘that we do a play, and I suggest Simple Susan as a suitable piece.’
‘I should like to second that,’ said Miss Prentice.
‘What sort of play is it?’ asked Dr Templett. ‘I haven’t heard of it. Is it new?’
‘It’s a contemporary of East Lynne and The Silver King I should think,’ said Dinah.
Henry and Dr Templett laughed. Miss Campanula thrust out her bosom, turned scarlet in the face, and said:
‘In my humble opinion, Dinah, it is none the worse for that.’
‘It’s so amusing,’ said Miss Prentice. ‘You remember it, Jocelyn, don’t you? There’s that little bit where Lord Sylvester pretends to be his own tailor and proposes to Lady Maude, thinking she’s her own lady’s maid. Such an original notion and so ludicrous.’
‘It has thrown generations of audiences into convulsions,’ agreed Henry.
‘Henry,’ said the squire.
‘Sorry, Father. But honestly, as a dramatic device –’
‘Simple Susan,’ said Miss Campanula hotly, ‘may be old-fashioned in the sense that it contains no disgusting innuendos. It does not depend on vulgarity for its fun, and that’s more than can be said for most of your modern comedies.’
‘How far does Lord Sylvester go –’ began Dinah.
‘Dinah!’ said the rector quietly.
‘All right, Daddy. Sorry. I only –’
‘How old is Lord Sylvester?’ interrupted the squire suddenly.
‘Oh, about forty-five or fifty,’ murmured Miss Prentice.
‘Why not do The Private Secretary?’ inquired Henry.
‘I never thought The Private Secretary was a very nice play,’ said Miss Prentice. ‘I expect I’m prejudiced.’ And she gave the rector a reverent smile.
‘I agree,’ said Miss Campanula. ‘I always thought it in the worst of taste. I may be old fashioned but I don’t like jokes about the cloth.’
‘I don’t think The Private Secretary ever did us much harm,’ said the rector mildly. ‘But aren’t we wandering from the point? Miss Campanula has moved that we do a play called Simple Susan. Miss Prentice has seconded her. Has anybody else a suggestion to make?’
‘Yes,’ said Selia Ross, ‘I have.’
If Mrs Ross had taken a ticking bomb from her handbag and placed it on the table, the effect could have been scarcely more devastating. What she did produce was a small green book. Seven pairs of eyes followed the movements of her thin scarlet-tipped hands. Seven pairs of eyes fastened, as if mesmerized, on the black letters of the book cover. Mrs Ross folded her hands over the book and addressed the meeting.
‘I do hope you’ll all forgive me for making my suggestion,’ she said, ‘but it’s the result of a rather odd coincidence. I’d no idea of your meeting until Dr Templett called in this afternoon, but I happened to be reading this play and when he appeared the first thing I said was, “Some time or other we simply must do this thing,” Didn’t I, Billy? I mean, it’s absolutely marvellous. All the time I was reading it I kept thinking how perfect it would be for some of you to do it in aid of one of the local charities. There are two parts in it that would be simply ideal for Miss Prentice and Miss Campanula. The Duchess and her sister. The scene they have with General Talbot is one of the best in the play. It simply couldn’t be funnier and you’d be magnificent as the General, Mr Jernigham.’
She paused composedly and looked sideways at the squire. Nobody spoke, though Miss Campanula wetted her lips. Selia Ross waited for a moment, smiling frankly, and then she said:
‘Of course, I didn’t realize you had already chosen a play. Naturally I wouldn’t have dreamt of coming if I had known. It’s all this man’s fault.’ She gave Dr Templett a sort of a comradely jog with her elbow. ‘He bullied me into it. I ought to have apologized and crept away at once, but I just couldn’t resist telling you about my discovery.’ She opened her eyes a little wider and turned them on the rector. ‘Perhaps if I left it with you, Mr Copeland, the committee might just like to glance at it before they quite decide. Please don’t think I want a part in it or anything frightful like that. It’s just that it is so good and I’d be delighted to lend it.’
‘That’s very kind of you,’ said the rector.
‘It’s not a bit kind. I’m being thoroughly selfish. I just long to see you all doing it and I’m secretly hoping you won’t be able to resist it. It’s so difficult to find modern plays that aren’t offensive,’ continued Mrs Ross, with an air of great frankness, ‘but this really is charming.’
‘But what is the play?’ asked Henry, who had been craning his neck in a useless attempt to read the title.
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