should have seen me yesterday,” she said. “Myself and Fletcher turned up at my sister’s christening dripping with mud.”
“Irish weather is not kind to teleportation. How did you manage to explain it?”
“Sprinkler system, flower beds, a lost dog – it wasn’t easy, but eventually we bombarded everyone with enough conflicting details that they figured it was easier to just let us get away with it.”
“Ah, the curse of maintaining a secret identity,” China said.
Valkyrie sat at the elaborately carved eighteenth-century table – what was commonly referred to as an antique, even though China was much older. “We went up against the Jitter Girls,” Valkyrie said.
China’s eyebrow rose fractionally. “How did you escape?”
“Skulduggery and I managed to get them back in the box.”
“My word, that is impressive.”
“We’re trying to identify the man who released them.”
“I am sorry, Valkyrie, I can’t help you. The last I heard of the Jitter Girls, they’d been seen in New Zealand, but this was maybe ten years ago. I have no idea who would have had access to them since then. Of course, when I said we should talk of important things, that is not quite what I had in mind.”
Valkyrie laughed softly, and crossed her legs. “You want to know about Fletcher.”
“But of course. Some people watch television for their vicarious thrills. All I need do is talk to you. How is Fletcher these days? Apart from muddy?”
“He’s grand.”
“Still annoying you?”
“Sometimes.”
“And how is this mysterious other person?”
Valkyrie’s head dropped. “I wish I hadn’t told you about that.”
“Oh, come now, you’ve barely told me anything. Today is the day when you reveal all, though. I can feel it. Do I know this person? Boy or girl?”
“Boy,” she said, then frowned. “Well, I don’t know if you’d call him a boy. Male. Definitely male. I don’t know what I’m … When I say there’s someone else, I don’t mean it’s someone I’m going to dump Fletcher for, but … Doesn’t the fact that there is someone else mean something? Doesn’t it mean that my feelings for Fletcher aren’t as strong as …”
“As his feelings for you?”
“Well, yeah.”
“But that was always going to be the case, was it not? That he would feel more deeply for you than you did for him?” China sat down. “I’m enjoying this immensely, by the way.”
Valkyrie looked quizzical. “Enjoying what?”
“I’ve never had any children,” China said, “and I haven’t had a friend in centuries. To me, talking like this is wonderful. So tell me the truth now – have you committed the cardinal sin?”
“Uh, that depends,” Valkyrie said warily. “What’s the cardinal sin?”
“Have you told Fletcher you loved him?”
“Oh,” Valkyrie said, sagging again. “Yes.”
“Oh my.”
“It was ages ago, but … I didn’t mean it like that. Not really. But I said it, and he took it to mean that I’m in love with him. I haven’t mentioned it since. I just … I don’t know.”
“Are you playing with Fletcher’s heart, my dear?”
“I’m trying not to.”
“And this other man?”
“I’ve no interest in a relationship with him, either,” said Valkyrie.
“Either?”
“Sorry?”
“You said you have no interest in a relationship with him, either. Implying that you have no interest in a relationship with him or Fletcher.”
Valkyrie looked startled. “I … That’s not what I meant.”
“Is your relationship with Fletcher coming to an end?”
There was silence, and then, “I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant … Oh, God, I don’t know. I like having Fletcher. He’s warm, and nice, and safe.”
“All good qualities,” China assured her, “in a puppy. You need someone smart, and strong, and capable. Someone assured. You need someone to challenge you. You need someone better than you. That’s what love is, you know. Love is finding someone better than you are, and holding on for dear life.”
“It sounds hard.”
“The good things in life always are. But you’re not looking for love, are you? Of course you’re not. What girl your age is? You want fun. You want someone … amazing. Yes?”
“Yes.”
“How long have you been going out with Fletcher?”
“A year and a half, maybe.”
“If you care for him, and I know you care for him, you won’t want to hurt him. But time passes and feelings deepen. And that’s when the real hurt will set in. Are you taking him to the Ball?”
Valkyrie blinked. “The what?”
“The Requiem Ball, dear.”
“Oh. Um, I don’t know. Am I even going? Skulduggery didn’t say anything.”
“Of course you’re going. You’ve saved the world, haven’t you?”
“Well, yeah, but the Requiem Ball is to commemorate the end of the war with Mevolent, and I had nothing to do with that.”
“Do you really think you’d be allowed to miss it because of a trifling matter of details? If you don’t go this year, you’ll have to wait another ten years for it to come around again, and that would never do. Oh, you’ll love it. The women dress in the most beautiful gowns, the men wear tuxedos and we dance the night away. It is quite the social highlight of the decade.”
“When you say ‘dance’,” Valkyrie said, “you don’t mean the way you’d dance at a nightclub, do you? Because that’s the only kind of dancing I know how to do.”
“It’s nothing extravagant,” China assured her. “A waltz or two. A tango. A minuet. Even a quadrille, if we’re feeling debauched. We’re going to have to get you into a gloriously decadent dress, I think, with gloriously decadent shoes that will make you even taller than you are now.”
Skulduggery
