I smile to myself...finally something new that I haven’t read on my own. At least I can drown myself in that if things get rough—nothing like academics to take a girl’s mind off unrequited love. I glance at Lo through my lashes. He’s flipping through the pages of the play, his lower lip caught between his teeth. I can’t help noticing how cute he looks, yet how different. Gone are the rebellious flip-flops from last year, which aren’t part of the Dover Prep uniform, as well as his permanently sand-covered feet. Gone also are the days when he used to cut class just to go surfing. The old Lo would have been horrified to be in class on time or to be caught without an appropriately bored expression on his face. A part of me desperately misses that boy, but I know he’s in there somewhere...somewhere beneath the meticulously neat hair and immaculate uniform.
Mr. Donovan thumps his book on the desk, making me jump, and people swivel to the front of the class. “You are going to work in groups of four or five, and each group will be assigned a specific theme to discuss. As part of your midterm, there will be a debate between each of the groups to prove or disprove the theme you have been assigned. This will count toward half of your final grade in this class, so please take it seriously. The group assignments are as follows.”
The assignments are all alphabetical, so my silver lining is that Cara is an A last name and Lo is an S, but nothing prepares me for the pure venom that comes my way when Lo and I somehow end up in the same group. In this class there aren’t many last names between Marin and Seavon. Jenna is also in our group, as well as two other boys. Sawyer is with Speio, so he doesn’t look too miserable at having to split up from Jenna. The new girl—Rian Thorn—is with them.
Jenna catches my eyes and I can see her lips twitching as she nods at the theme that Donovan has just written up on the blackboard for our group. I almost snort—The Double Life. Someone definitely has a sense of humor, considering that there are two aliens pretending to be human in this group alone. Well, not that Lo knows that he’s alien, but who’s counting?
The rest of the morning passes in a bustle of activity, running from class to class, and getting myself reacquainted with the routine. After American Government, Advanced Math and French class, I trudge toward the cafeteria and toss my books and my food-laden tray down onto an empty table. Jenna, Speio, Sawyer and surprisingly Lo immediately join me. They look exactly how I feel. Wiped.
“Seriously,” I say. “Is senior year supposed to be death in a backpack? It’s only lunchtime, for crying out loud. How’d you guys survive weeks of this already?”
“Dover Prep prides itself on academic preparation for college-bound students,” Jenna intones, mimicking the opening statements on the Dover Prep brochure.
“Guess they didn’t include torture and cruel or unusual punishments,” Sawyer quips.
“I didn’t think it was too bad,” Lo says, and we all turn to him in unison, our expressions identical.
“Who are you and what have you done with Lo?” Sawyer says, widening his eyes in mock shock. “Oh, right, he’s on hiatus, which means new Lo loves schoolwork.”
Lo reddens. “I don’t love it. I just don’t think it’s that bad. Big difference.”
“Well, the old you couldn’t be bothered, that’s all,” Sawyer explains. “I mean, you haven’t even asked me to cut school once. So it’s weird seeing you, of all people, flipped around and all about the books.”
“Sorry.” Lo shrugs. “It’s just that I don’t know how I used to be, and it feels like I should be good in school because this stuff isn’t too complicated to me. If I do it well, why not do it?” We all start laughing and Lo gets even redder, realizing that that, too, is something the old Lo would never say. “Look, I’m just trying to figure out who I was. Give me a break, will you?”
“Sorry, man, just playing around,” Sawyer says, chucking him in the shoulder. “We all know who you are. You’ll remember soon enough.”
“I guess we haven’t really seen you since school started,” Jenna pipes up. “You’ve been over there.” She nods across the room.
“Sorry, Cara’s been helping out,” Lo says a trifle defensively. “I didn’t want to be mean.” His eyes dart over to where said stony-faced helper is sitting with her entourage. “I think I’ve made her mad by even coming over here.”
“The old Lo wouldn’t have cared,” I blurt out, earning a swift glance from Lo.
“The old Lo sounds like he was a dick.”
“Hardly. He just saw through the bullshit. He knew how to read people.”
“Like you?”
“Especially me,” I say quietly. The memory of a different type of conversation, on a boat in the middle of the harbor, whispers through my mind. Lo had always been able to see right through me, even at my worst.
“Wow, you two want to take it down a notch, or what?” Jenna interjects to diffuse the sudden tension hovering over the table. “Dick or not, you’re still our friend.”
Lo lounges back in his seat. “So, what else did I do? Or not do? Besides not caring about school, seeing through bullshit and being an amazing surfer, according to Nerissa.”
The sound of my name on his lips makes my stomach feel all fluttery, but I stuff a huge bite of cheeseburger in my mouth so I don’t have to talk. Sawyer does instead. “Well, she’s right. You were pretty awesome, but you’re getting there,” he says. “We’ll have you back surfing double overheads in no time. Right, Riss?”
Lo’s eyes meet mine. “Sure,” I choke out, stuffing another bite into my mouth. “Sorry, hungry,” I say by way of apology and stare at my tray, avoiding Jenna’s amused look.
“So, since we’re on the topic, can I ask you guys a weird question?” Lo says, his eyes making the rounds at the table. Jenna nods on behalf of everyone. “Did I...date Cara?” The dead silence is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Everyone around me stares at the tabletop. Surprised, Lo hurries to explain. “I mean, it’s just that she’s so possessive sometimes, and I feel as if she expects me to be a certain way, so...” He trails off, a helpless expression on his face.
“Do you like Cara?” Jenna asks carefully.
“She’s all right,” he says. “A little neurotic, but who isn’t? And she’s been supernice over the last few weeks.”
“That’s not an answer.”
I try to act like the real answer to Jenna’s question won’t affect me, but it’s a losing battle. The silence thickens to uncomfortable proportions, and I realize that I’m holding my breath. I exhale silently.
“I guess I do. Or did. I don’t know. I mean, it feels like we’re close.”
“So, which is it?” The question isn’t from Jenna. It’s from me. I’m shocked that I’ve even said anything, but obviously I have, if Jenna’s open-jawed expression is any indication.
“I don’t know,” Lo says. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make things weird.” He laughs awkwardly. “Please tell me I didn’t insert my foot in my mouth because I dated any of you?”
To everyone’s surprise, Speio leans in, his face grave. “Well, I didn’t want to have to tell you this
