go with you to the Crab Shack, but I can’t. It’s...complicated.” Complicated is beginning to define my life.
Lo shoots me a look, as if he can see right through me. “What are you afraid of?”
“I don’t know what you mean,” I say.
“Yes, you do.” My answering flush is immediate. I hate the way he can see right through my bluster. It’s a perceptiveness I usually see in Jenna, and while it’s a cool trait with her, it’s maddening with him. I take a deep breath.
“Lo,” I say. “I don’t want to play any games with you. I mean, I’m not interested in dating anyone. I can’t.”
“Why?”
His quiet directness is disconcerting. “Because I have too many things going on—school, hockey, family—to get involved with anyone.” I’m aware that my reasoning is flimsy but I can’t seem to put two coherent thoughts together when he’s staring at me with that knowing look in his eyes.
“Nerissa—” the delicious way he says my name sends a shiver through my entire body from tip to toe “—I like you. You’re interesting. I want to get to know you. And I want to know the real reason that you don’t like me.”
“I don’t,” I blurt out, ignoring the fact that he just admitted he liked me. “I mean, I do like you fine as a person.” I like you too much, that’s the problem.
Once more, I’m struck by how different he is from other boys. No boy I know at Dover, or any other school, would flat-out up and admit they liked a girl, or lay out perfectly logical reasons on why they should get to know each other. His quiet self-assurance throws me.
“So what’s the problem, then? For us to hang out? As friends.”
“Cara thinks you have enough friends.” I don’t even know where the words come from, but they’re out of my mouth before I can stop them. Lo’s expression doesn’t change but I can see the slow lightening in his eyes. It’s worse than an actual smile.
“She’s just someone who befriended the new guy.”
The way he says it makes me feel awful, like I’m some sort of pariah who thinks she’s too good for everyone else. Maybe I used to be like that, but I’m not anymore, and certainly nothing like Cara, who has her own hidden agendas. But it’s the opening I need. So even though my body feels otherwise, I stand, grabbing my board and bag.
“Good. Then you don’t need me,” I say softly. Lo’s reaction takes me by surprise. This time, he smiles and lounges back on his elbows, stretching his sand-crusted legs out in front of him. I frown, recognizing his grin as the same one from earlier when we’d been competing for the wave. “That’s not a challenge, if that’s what you’re thinking.”
“Okay.”
“Okay, what?” I say, exasperated.
“Not a challenge, I get it,” he says, and nods over my shoulder. “Here comes your warden.”
I glance down the beach to see Speio walking toward us from the water with the familiar stormy expression on his face. But instead of being angry, this time I’m grateful for the interruption.
“Catch you later,” I say to Lo, and walk toward Speio.
“Definitely,” Lo says.
The single parting word curls around me like velvet, leaving me in little doubt of his intentions.
6
WARFARE
“Terrific game, Fighters!”
The metal bleachers around the field are packed and full of screaming supporters. We just took down the number-three seeded girls’ hockey team in Southern California and are now in the finals. Although my head wasn’t completely in the game, I’d used the field as a way to get rid of some much needed aggression. I’d played better than I’d hoped, scoring two out of the four goals. Jenna shot the winning goal in the final six seconds of the game.
As usual, Speio was sitting in the stands with a huge scowl on his face—and was the only one scowling when I scored my goals. He still thinks I’m wasting my time playing hockey, but there’s no way I will give up on my team, not after walking away from everything else. They need me. In any case, Lo’s enthusiastic cheering made up for Speio’s complete lack of school spirit. Not that I noticed, of course. I found it interesting that he showed up for the game.
Again, not that I cared. Much.
“You were on fire today, Riss!” Jenna screeches in my ear as we join our teammates walking back to the locker room.
“Says the girl who brought the fire,” I yell back, grinning. “You cleared, like, half the field in three seconds for that last goal. Just brilliant!”
“Thanks!”
We dump our gear and head for our lockers, sweaty and jubilant. Getting to the finals took a lot of hard work and many a long practice, but seeing the faces of my teammates—even Cara, who’d sat on the bench for most of the game—was worth every grueling second.
“So where’s the victory dinner?” It’s one of the defensive players on the team, another junior, Mary.
“Think Coach said the Crab Shack in an hour. You guys in?”
“I can’t,” I say quickly. “I have a ton of homework, and I have to head over to the Marine Coastal Center for a bit. You guys have fun.”
“Party pooper!” Mary says, sticking out her tongue at me. She grins suddenly. “Sure you don’t want to? Heard your boyfriend’s going to be there. The lovelicious Lo.” She draws out his name suggestively and waggles her eyebrows.
“What?” I sputter, glaring at Jenna.
“Don’t look at me,” she says, throwing her hands in the air. “As much as I’d like to claim I do, my many talents don’t extend to controlling the rumor mill.”
I turn my glare to Mary, whose grin widens at my red face. A door slams at the far end of the locker room and I notice that Cara is missing. “He’s not my boyfriend, regardless of what he or anyone says. I don’t even like the guy.”
“Great, so he’s up for grabs, then?”
“Sure,” I say, ripping off my uniform with more force than necessary and jerking my head toward the toilet stalls. “But I think Cara has dibs. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Noted,” Mary says with a grin, fluttering her eyelashes. “She doesn’t have a chance in hell.”
For a second, I envision myself smashing Mary’s pretty face in, but the feeling dissipates as quickly as it comes. Even when he’s not around, that boy has an atrocious effect on me. I avoid Jenna’s gaze like the plague because I can sense her studying me and coming to obvious Jenna-like conclusions in her head. I’ll only make it worse if I say anything, so I snap my mouth shut and strip off the rest of my gear.
“Well, I guess I’ll
