you girls ever where you’re supposed to be?” I groaned and shot a warning look at Timothy and Matthew, whose faces told me instantly that they were as shocked as I was.
The cold, damp air in the barn seemed to warm a bit as the girls left the stall to join us in the hallway.
Timmy stood up and went to Suzanna. “What are you doing, Suzanna, spying on us like that?”
Suzanna placed her hands on her hips and frowned at her boyfriend. The look made him take a step back.
“What kind of fools go into the barn to have a secret meeting and don’t even check the stalls to make sure they’re alone? Huh, tell me that,” Suzanna hissed and I knew it was useless to argue with these girls about anything.
Matthew wasn’t so smart. He looked at Miranda, his own girlfriend, and asked, “I thought we didn’t keep stuff from each other, Mirn—what’s going on?”
His voice had a whinelike quality, and I wasn’t surprised when the usually quiet girl blurted out, “I’m not doing a thing wrong, or worth telling you about. We came in here to talk for a few minutes in private before we went to help with the lunch sandwiches.”
When Miranda paused, Suzanna jumped in, saying, “It’s not our fault that you ran your mouth before checking if the stable was occupied. I’d have thought you would’ve known better.”
I nodded. “Yes, you’re right. I’ve been torn up all morning because of Elijah. He isn’t going to let this thing go.”
Suzanna came closer. She whispered, “How’s Rose? Is she all right? Are you two really getting back together? Is she coming back to live among us?”
I put up my hands to stop her bombardment. The motion silenced her, but her light blue eyes sparked with more questions. I sighed, knowing I wouldn’t be able to escape the barn without sharing some information with her. Suzanna and Miranda were Rose’s friends, after all. It was understandable that they’d want to know what was going on.
“All right, slow down. Rose is fine. Yes, we’re back together, but it isn’t common knowledge yet, so don’t go gossiping.”
“You know we wouldn’t. Anything you tell us will never leak out. I thought we’ve proven ourselves to you,” Suzanna huffed.
Looking into her eyes and seeing her determination, I knew she meant what she said. I relaxed further and continued, “Rose is coming back to Meadowview today, but she’s not going to be Amish straightaway. I guess the only reason her father is all right with her coming back to the area is that she’s convinced him that she’s over me. She’s finishing out the few weeks of school to prove to him her intentions.”
“Not more lies. Haven’t you two learned your lesson well enough? After the incident with that letter you were talking about and all, I’d think you’d want to be in the open with your love,” Suzanna said.
I shook my head. “You’re not thinking it through. We can’t be together just yet. She’s still only seventeen. Her father wouldn’t allow her to come back if he knew about us. And, my father has asked that we stay away from each other for some months to let the trouble with the Schwartzes die down. When Rose turns eighteen in late November, enough time will have passed for the community to again accept our union, and her father won’t be able to stop us, either. We’ll marry soon after and begin our life together in the Amish world.”
Timmy scratched his chin and nodded his head slowly. “That sounds like a good plan to me. If you and Rose got back together immediately after you canceled the wedding with Constance, you’d be frowned on by the entire community.”
“And, Elijah would be after you all the more,” Matthew added.
Suzanna picked up Miranda’s hand and pulled her toward the doorway. She stopped before she stepped out and said, “You’re just plain dumb, Noah, to think that it will work out that smoothly. Something unexpected always comes up to ruin well-laid plans—especially if you’re going to be dishonest once again.”
A second after she disappeared, she poked her head back in and said, “I’m happy that Rose is coming back, though. You tell her I expect her to contact me straightaway. We have a lot of catching up to do.”
The gust of air hit me for a couple of seconds before the girls had the door pulled shut.
Suzanna was right. But what could I do, except try to make it work out properly? As much as I loved Rose, I still didn’t want to hurt Constance’s feelings any more than necessary. She was a good girl, and the only thing she’d done wrong was fall in love with me. Mother had given me sound advice when she’d suggested that Rose and I wait awhile before we went public. Maybe over the summer, Constance would begin courting another, and her heart would be healed. His daughter’s happiness could soften Elijah once again, and all would be right in the community.
I tried to convince myself, but when I looked at Timothy and Matthew and saw the doubt and worry etched on their faces, I knew I was fooling myself. Nothing had gone right ever since I’d first laid eyes on Rose, and I reckoned this would be no different. But I’d try not to worry until something came up. After all, I’d get to be with her tomorrow, and that’s all that I wanted to think about.
6
Rose
“Hold up, Summer,” I said as I stopped and squatted beneath the pine trees.
My stomach rolled, and I tried to swallow down the nausea. It didn’t work. Hot juices rose in my throat, and I threw up. My body heaved, and I clutched my stomach when the spasms didn’t stop.
“Here, let me get your hair out of the way,” Summer said, kneeling beside me. She rubbed my back and murmured soft words that didn’t mean much to me. I just wanted the bubbling feeling in my gut to quit.
The week after I’d discovered I was pregnant, I’d felt perfectly fine and decided that the pregnancy thing wasn’t so bad. I had even been able to pretend in my mind I wasn’t pregnant, that maybe all the tests had been wrong. When I’d said as much to Summer, she’d laughed and told me to wait awhile, I’d be feeling it soon enough. She’d assured me that she’d seen it happen to her stepsister and another girlfriend firsthand. Then, bam, yesterday morning the sickness had hit with the force of a raging hurricane. It didn’t just happen in the morning, either. The rocking in my belly and throat had been almost constant since it began.
Finally, after another minute of gagging and spitting up yellow liquid that must have come from the pit of my empty stomach, I sat back against the tree trunk.
Summer handed me a tissue from her pocket and said, “Somehow, you’re going to have to pull yourself together or Noah will know for sure.”
“How? I can’t go an hour without being sick. He’ll see right through me.”
Summer placed her hand under my chin and forced it up. I looked into her bright green eyes and calmed instantly.
“Now, you listen to me, Rose. You’re a strong girl. You can do this. I have faith in you.”
“No, I can’t. He’ll figure it out...and then what’ll I do?” I sniffed back the tears that were almost falling again.
Summer’s
