and utterly mental?’ face. He turned away and tried to ignore her.
“There’s something I wanted to say to you, Gemma.” He couldn’t help it. “I think about you a lot, as a matter of fact.”
“Oh yes …?” He could almost see the dimples in her cheeks as she smiled.
“You mean a lot to me, Gemma. I just want you to know that. There’ve been so many times I wanted to tell you that, but I always chickened out. Stupid really.”
“Ashoka, are you all right?” Gemma said. “This isn’t like you.”
“It is, but you just don’t know it. Sometimes I don’t know what I am either.”
“Maybe we can talk tomorrow. I’d like to.”
“Really?”
“Of course. Why do you think I come to Josh’s to play Dungeons & Dragons every Tuesday?”
“Er … because you’re a geek?”
Gemma laughed. “That too.”
Gemma was interested in Ashoka? The world had gone officially loony.
“You’ll call me?” she asked. “So we can meet up? Just you and me?”
Totally loony. “That would be great. I’ve got some family business to sort out first. Might take a few days. But, yeah, I’ll call you.”
“All right. Listen, the bell’s about to go. Take care of yourself, Ashoka.”
“You too.”
He clicked off the phone just as Ashoka came back in. They looked at each other. “Was that for me?”
Ash gave him his most casual look. “Oh, just someone checking up. On stuff. You know. And, you know, Gemma.”
“You spoke to Gemma?”
Parvati sighed. “He asked her out. As you.”
Ashoka’s mouth dropped open. “A date? Why? What? Seriously? What did she say?”
“She said yes,” said Ash, grinning. “As unbelievable as it might seem.”
“She said yes?” echoed Ashoka. “Aw, excellent! Thanks!”
“This is too, too insane,” said Parvati, shaking her head.
Ash couldn’t get it out of his mind. Gemma was alive. Of course he’d known she would be, but it was different actually speaking to her.
She lived. His uncle and aunt lived. All the trauma he’d been through had never happened to Ashoka.
Was that why he found his other self so irritating?
Admit it, you’re jealous.
Ash was the Kali-aastra. He’d saved the world a couple of times. He was the Eternal Warrior, the reincarnation of some of the greatest heroes the world had ever known, and he was jealous of a podgy, lazy kid who’d achieved absolutely zero with his life.
And he was still going to get the girl.
“Get with the programme,” snapped Parvati. She handed him his punch dagger.
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“It’s all over your face. Life not being fair and all that.”
“Well, it’s not.” Ash glanced towards the sofa. Ashoka was bending over to do up his shoelaces. “Look at him. He can’t even touch his toes and yet he gets it all.”
“You’re such an idiot,” fumed Parvati.
“What’s up with you, anyway?” said Ash, looking at her.
Elaine came in jangling a bunch of keys. “I reckon if you’re heading into the lion’s den you might need some hardware.”
“What have you got?” Ash asked.
“More’s the question, what haven’t I got? Come downstairs. You too, fat boy. And bring that bow of yours.”
Ashoka flushed. And tried to hold his stomach in. “I’m not fat,” he muttered. “It’s water retention.”
Elaine smirked. “It looks like cake retention to me.”
There was a small door behind the counter that led to the basement. Elaine shuffled through her keys, shaking them off a cumbersome steel ring, inspecting one after another. “If you wait a month or so, I could get you some reinforcements.”
“Who do you have in mind? The SAS?” asked Ashoka.
Elaine tried another thick iron key in the door. “Better than that. But they’re all out in Russia right now.”
“We haven’t got a month,” said Ash. “Savage will catch up with us well before then. We need to take the initiative.”
“Ah, here we go.” Elaine pushed a key into the lock and twisted.
She flipped on a switch and a lone light bulb illuminated a narrow set of stairs leading into the basement. “This is where I keep the toys for the boys.” She gave Parvati a mock bow. “And the demon princesses.”
Ash followed Parvati down and then gazed about him. And grinned. Ashoka stepped in after him.
“Wow,” said Ashoka. “You really are ready for the zombie apocalypse.”
The wooden rack to his left was stacked with katanas – samurai swords – each wrapped in a silk cloth. Axes stood up against the wall opposite, their blades bright as mirrors. Spears, maces, even suits of armour ranging from stiffened leather to chain mail to plate helmets. Ash picked up a curved tulwar, slowly rolling his wrist in loose figures of eight.
Parvati picked up a flat steel ring, slightly bigger than palm size. “A chakram. It’s been a while since I saw one of these.”
Ashoka collected a pair of nunchakus and adopted a Bruce Lee pose. “I’ll take these.”
Parvati raised an eyebrow. “You know how to use one?”
“I’ve seen Enter the Dragon a billion times.”
She took it from him. “You’re more likely to knock yourself out.”
Ash picked up an arrow. The tip was needle sharp. “I don’t want you getting close enough for a punch-up. You leave that to Parvati and me.” He handed the arrow over. “You stay at the back and use these with your bow, if you think you can handle it.”
“I can
