Are these my basoomas I see before me?. Louise Rennison

Чтение книги онлайн.

Читать онлайн книгу Are these my basoomas I see before me? - Louise Rennison страница 1

Are these my basoomas I see before me? - Louise  Rennison

Скачать книгу

tion>

      In memory of the original Luuurve God with the big fat red Yorkshire legs:

      Big Fat Bobbins.

      This is dedicated to you all.

      I quite literally love you all.

      p.s. I hope I love you as much as you love me.

      But I can’t worry about that now because that is life, isn’t it?

      p.p.s. Perhaps I love you more than you love me, which is a bit mean as I am bothering to dedicate this book to you.

      Table of Contents

      The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson:

       Chapter 1 - You know you luuurve it, you cheeky Fräulein!

       Chapter 5 - My tights runneth over

       Chapter 6 - How to Make Any Twit Fall in Love With You

       Chapter 7 - Slim’s snogging lecture

       Chapter 8 - Sven finds his inner Woman (unfortunately)

       Chapter 9 - I may have a slight fence burn

       Chapter 10 - Whey-heyyyy!!

       Chapter 11 - Just call me Pongo

       Chapter 12 - Twits in Tights Fiasco

       Chapter 13 - Rom and Jule: the tragedy (you’re not kidding, mate)

      A Note from Georgia

      Georgia’s Glossary

       The Having the Hump Scale

       The Snogging Scale

       Great Mates Scale

      Copyright

       About the Publisher

       The Confessions of Georgia Nicolson:

      Angus, thongs and full-frontal snogging

      ‘It’s OK, I’m wearing really big knickers!’

      ‘Knocked out by my nunga-nungas.’

      ‘Dancing in my nuddy-pants!’

      ‘…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.’

      ‘…then he ate my boy entrancers.’

      ‘…startled by his furry shorts!’

      ‘Luuurve is a many trousered thing…’

      ‘Stop in the name of pants!’

      ‘Are these my basoomas I see before me?’

      Also available on tape and CD:

      ‘…and that’s when it fell off in my hand.’

      ‘…then he ate my boy entrancers.’

      ‘…startled by his furry shorts!’

      ‘Luuurve is a many trousered thing…’

      ‘Stop in the name of pants!’

      ‘Are these my basoomas I see before me?’

      Sunday September 18th 9:00 a.m. Why. Oh why oh why?

      9:02 a.m. Why me?

      9:03 a.m. And I’ll just say this. Why?

      9:04 a.m. One minute, I am the girlfriend of a Luuurve God, skipping around like a Sex Kitty on kittykat tablets and the next minute I am at Poo College, in Pooford. Doing a degree in Poonosity and Merde.

      9:10 a.m. Masimo, my Pizza-a-gogo Luuurve God, stropped off with the megahump last night. Not even stopping to say goodbye-io, or whatever they say in Pizza-a-gogo land. I may never know now.

      9:12 a.m. Why? Why oh why oh why?

      9:13 a.m. Just because I did a bit of harmless twisting with Dave the Laugh at the Stiff Dylans gig.

      That’s all.

      9:15 a.m. Is doing the twist such a crime?

      Why would you get the Humpty Dumpty about that?

      9:16 a.m. I wouldn’t mind, but he doesn’t even know about the accidental snogging Dave the Laugh in the forest of red-bottomosity incident. Which I will never be mentioning this side of the grave.

      9:17 a.m. If he gets the numpty about a bit of twisting, what number on the Having the Hump Scale would he get to for accidental snogging?

      9:18 a.m. Perhaps Masimo has only got the overnight hump with me and he will be calling me soon.

      9:30

Скачать книгу