so weird being described by someone else,’ I said, offering a spoonful of cheesecake in return for the ice cream. ‘The one risky thing I’ve ever done is come to New York, but that is working out fairly well. Maybe I ought to look into this risk taking thing more.’
‘I think that sounds like a wonderful idea,’ Tyler said. ‘I’ve always had my life so mapped out. Ivy league college, good job with a great bank, next is supposed to be wife and kids, move to Connecticut, retire to Florida.’
‘Sounds like fun,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘I think I had something like that planned, and then I found my boyfriend with his pants around his ankles. I don’t recommend it.’
‘If I were to find my boyfriend with his shorts around his ankles, something would have gone wildly wrong with my plan.’ His eyes crinkled lightly as he shook his head and laughed. Oh, he looks nice when he laughs, I thought, musing over his good points. Sweet, funny, great prospects, makes me feel like royalty, and quite frankly, not bad to look at, and there were rock hard abs under that suit.
‘If you were going to go wildly off plan,’ I had to find a chink in the perfection somewhere, ‘what would you do?’
‘I don’t know,’ he said, leaning back in his chair. ‘If I were being totally selfish? Do anything I want?’
‘Anything you want,’ I confirmed.
‘I’d take a year off and follow the Yankees. Every game,’ he said, smiling to himself. ‘Can you imagine?’
‘Not really,’ I frowned. Not the romantic answer I’d been hoping for.
‘Or, I would rent an island, like the one the Virgin guy has,’ he suggested.
‘Necker Island?’ More like it.
‘Yeah,’ he nodded. ‘I’d rent Necker island and just hide away for a few months. Just the sun and the sand and some great wines and whiskeys. And a satellite TV for Yankees’ games. And a WiFi connection so you could keep writing, of course.’
‘I’m there?’ I asked, playing with my napkin.
‘It’s my fantasy, right?’ he said, reaching out for my hand across the table. ‘So I get to take whoever I want.’
Silently blushing from head to toe, I tried to meet his gaze, but I had instantly become a Complete Girl and couldn’t even look at him.
‘The food here is really great, but the coffee is awful,’ he whispered just loud enough for the waiter to hear as he walked by. He sniffed loudly and carried on walking. ‘And I have a suspicion we’re not that welcome any more,’ he laughed. ‘I, however, have great coffee. You want to come back for a while?’
I looked over at the waiter who was already running up our bill. It really did look as if he might spit in our coffees. At best.
‘I’m only ten minutes from here,’ Tyler said, pulling out his wallet and placing the fabled black Amex on the bill the second it arrived without even looking. I really had wanted to pay tonight, but in a way, I really did love the fact that he wouldn’t let me. ‘And it’s really good coffee. I have a Gaggia.’
Whatever a Gaggia might have been, it swung the deal. It was just coffee after all, there was no way Tyler was going to be less of a gentleman than Alex. We ducked out into a cab and drove slowly around the park. Somewhere I still hadn’t visited, it looked so beautiful lit up at night.
‘You want to walk the last couple of blocks?’ Tyler asked, reading my mind. I nodded eagerly and jumped out onto the pavement, leaning against the wall and looking out across the lake. It was like a scene from a movie. My movie.
‘Sometimes you forget how lucky you are to live with all this on your doorstep,’ he sighed, taking off his jacket and resting it on my shoulders. It was lightly scented with his aftershave and still warm. ‘It’s amazing to see it through someone else’s eyes.’
I turned to say something, but was cut off by his kiss. His arms encircled my waist and without breaking away, he lifted me up and placed me on the wall, as if I were made of air, as if I weighed nothing. Pressing against him, I let the kiss grow deeper and deeper until my hands were lost in his thick hair and my legs were carelessly knotted around his. I had completely forgotten I was in the middle of a busy street, I was so entirely given over to this kiss, this moment. Suddenly, I felt all of my frustrations bubble up to the surface, every night I’d laid in bed alone waiting for Mark to come home, every hopeful smile I’d had rejected, every touch that had gone unacknowledged, even Alex’s refusal to come upstairs with me the night before, however honorable his reasons, it all burst out in that one kiss.
‘My apartment is just around the corner,’ Tyler pushed me away gently. His eyes burned and I knew I just had to. I wanted him so badly. The absolute certainty that I was in for a thoroughly good seeing to burned in my chest as we moved in silence, somewhere between a quick walk and a slow run. It was only a couple of minutes to his Park Avenue apartment, but it felt like a million miles. Falling through the door, I tore at Tyler’s beautiful suit and kicked away my flip-flops as we rolled down the hallway. I knew that I should step back, work out what I was doing. But I didn’t care. I didn’t care if it was revenge sex, a sexorcism, or just something I needed with someone I wanted. All I knew was that the doorknob pushing into my lower back needed to be turned if it led to the bedroom. And it did. Tyler pulled me in, flicking on the low bedside light as we crashed on to his huge bed. This wasn’t the time to work out my motives, I told myself, feeling so small and delicate as Tyler lay on top of me, his hands frisking my curves firmly, his lips still pressing against mine. This was time to let my body make some decisions for me. And if all my body’s decisions felt this good, I would be consulting it far more regularly from now on.
Morning declared itself with a chirping alarm clock. I had absolutely no idea what time it was, but it felt early. Really early. Stretching my arms out, I marvelled at how wide the bed felt, how soft my sheets were. How bright the sun was through the giant picture window … hang on a minute.
‘Morning,’ Tyler appeared in the doorway, fully dressed in a suit and tie as I clutched the covers tightly around my chin. Quick visual check, yes, I was naked. He sat down on the edge of the bed and placed two steaming cups of coffee on the side table. ‘Since we never got to it last night,’ he said, bending down and offering a long, slow kiss.
I still wasn’t quite sure what to say.
‘Sorry, it’s so early,’ he carried on regardless, picking up his coffee and sipping thoughtfully. ‘Monday’s are a bitch, I have to be in before all the meetings start, otherwise I don’t stand a chance. I’m usually tied to my BlackBerry all Sunday night and, as you know, I had better things to do last night.’
I smiled weakly and fumbled for my coffee. ‘Mm-hm,’ I nodded and sipped slowly. The longer this took, the less likely it would be that I might have to make conversation. Damn, I thought, sipping again, he really does make fantastic coffee.
‘Anyway, I’m gonna get gone.’ He smoothed my hair and came in for another kiss. ‘Just let yourself out whenever, OK? The door locks itself, so don’t worry about alarms or anything. Call me later?’
I nodded and accepted one more kiss before he stood up to leave. I set my coffee down and buried my face in the pillow, not seeing Tyler pause in the doorway.
‘I just wanted to say,’ he called across the room,
