messing around when the guns were out – that was it – shooting was over.”
“So he was your friend?”
“He was… He was more like a big brother, ya know?” Ryan was having a hard time keeping it together. “I’m an only child. He was… he was good to me.”
“So you were walking up the path with your gun unloaded and then what?”
“He loved it here. He and the older kids used ta party up here all the time. He was the guy that told us about this place.”
Ryan was obviously trying to avoid speaking of what happened next. Harry let him go on.
“Sometimes he’d even get us beer. I wasn’t supposed to tell about that either. I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.”
There was a quiver in his voice. Harry needed to get him to the crux before he broke down altogether.
“So you were walking up the path…”
“And I saw him lying there.”
“And what did you do?”
“I called 911.”
“Did you try to revive him?”
“Look, I told the other cop all about it.”
“And now you need to tell me.”
“Why?” Ryan was shaking now.
“’Cause if you don’t… Just keep going, son.”
Ryan stood and said: “I’m not your son” and walked off into the woods.
Harry could feel he was almost there and pursued him.
“What did you do when you saw the body?”
“I told you: I called the cops.”
“What did you do before you called 911? Did you check Big Bill’s pulse to see if he was alive?”
Ryan turned back to Harry. The light was faint on his face. They were away from prying eyes and maybe that’s what Ryan needed. Even in the darkness Harry could see the boy’s face scrunch up in torment. When he spoke his voice came out like a child crying. “I didn’t even know it was Bill until the other cop told me. I went to look but half of his head was gone. It was like some horror movie.”
He was breaking down and reaching for someone to hold him but Harry stiff-armed him, keeping him away. He had to get to the next step.
“Then what did you do?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Yes, you do, tell me.”
“I… ran. I ran into the woods like a wimp. I found a big fir tree and I hid under it.”
That was it. Ryan was emotionally spent. Harry caught him as he slid to the leaf-covered ground and held him while he wept unabashedly. They stayed like that for a while until Ryan’s sobs became manageable.
Finally, Harry asked: “When did you call 911?”
“I hardly remember. I did it from under the tree. I hid there until I heard the sirens. Then walked out to the path to meet them. I didn’t want them to see me hiding.”
“So Ryan, you know what you did wrong?”
Ryan looked up and wiped his face with the bottom of his T-shirt. “You think I did something wrong?”
“No, I don’t. I think you did everything right, but you think you did something wrong. What do you think that is?”
“I shouldn’t’a run. I should’a looked around for the bastard that did it.”
“The person that shot Bill had a gun. What could you have done?”
“I had a gun too.”
“And you’re used to shooting people in the woods?”
“Well… no. But I shouldn’t have run.”
“Why not?” Harry said. “You saw the most horrible thing you have ever seen and you ran from it. Seems sensible to me. You did everything right. I’m amazed you even got around to calling 911 as fast as you did. Give yourself a break, kid. Stuff like this can haunt you, I know. Just because you ran away from danger doesn’t make you a coward – it makes you smart. This isn’t your fault and there was nothing you could have done about it.”
“It doesn’t feel like it.”
“Don’t you feel a little better now?”
Ryan stopped and took stock of himself for a moment. “Actually, I do.”
Ever since his interrogation days, Harry always carried a cheap handkerchief for just such an occasion. He gave it to Ryan. “Go ahead. Blow. It’s a gift. Can I give you a piece of advice, kid?”
Ryan nodded.
“Keeping this stuff inside is what screws with your brain. When people ask how you are, and you’re not good – say so. Tell them about how you saw your friend dead in the woods. And pretty soon you’ll be fine.”
“How do you know?”
Harry stood and brushed himself off. “’Cause where you are – I’ve been – and then some.” He reached down and helped Ryan to his feet. “Come on, have a beer. It’s time you started living again.”
As they walked back towards the fire Harry asked: “You know of anybody that would have wanted to hurt Big Bill?”
“No, that’s just it – he was real sweet. Everybody liked him. He loved it up here. Actually, last time I spoke to him he was pissed off about the fracking.”
“The what?” Harry asked.
“The fracking. Isn’t that how you found out about this party? That’s what this is all about. It’s to organize a ‘Stop the Fracking’ protest.”
“What, like drilling for natural gas?”
“Yeah, they want to do it right here.”
* * *
Back at the fire Harry refilled his cup and filled one for Ryan. Cirba turned down a second.
“Did you know about this fracking stuff?” Harry asked the cop.
“Well, I knew they were doing it out at the old stone quarry and, now that I have met this young woman, I know more than I ever thought possible.”
A young girl with blonde hair in braids, wearing a backwards cap, jumped in front of Harry. “You know they shoot sand and water into the ground, right? Well they add chemicals to that. You know what kind of chemicals they put in the ground?”
“Ah,
