she have been so stupid and foolish? If he ever returned to Bingtown and spoke of what they had done, she would be ruined, just like the Three Ships girl that he had left in his wake.
Grag was unaware of her discomfort. He had crouched down by a chest at the foot of his bed and was rummaging inside it. ‘I’m ravenous. Since I have this supposed toothache, Cook has only been bringing me soup and bread to sop in it. Would you care for some dried fruit? Jamaillian apricots or dates?’
‘I’ve no appetite. Thank you.’
Grag stopped his rummaging and swivelled to face her with a grin. ‘Now that’s the first time you’ve sounded like a proper Bingtown Trader’s daughter since you came aboard. I don’t know whether I’m relieved or disappointed.’
Althea wasn’t sure if she was flattered or insulted. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Oh. Well.’ He brought the package of fruit out and sat down on his bunk with it. He patted the place beside him and she sat down. ‘There. You see,’ he exclaimed triumphantly. ‘Not only are we alone and unchaperoned, behind a closed door, but you fearlessly sit down on my bed beside me. When I told you Brashen left a woman pregnant, you do not go pale or rebuke me for speaking of such things. You look thoughtful.’ He shook his head, bemused.
‘You wear your hair sensibly on deck, I’ve seen you wipe your hands down your shirt front, and you went barefoot and trousered the whole time you were pretending to be a ship’s boy. Yet I can still remember a very feminine woman in my arms, perfumed like violets, and dancing as gracefully as…well, as gracefully as you scamper up the rigging. How do you do it, Althea?’ He leaned back against the bulkhead, but the way he looked at her seemed to bring him closer to her. ‘How do you move so easily in both worlds? Where do you really belong?’
‘Why must it be one or the other?’ she countered. ‘You are both a capable seaman and the son of a Bingtown Trader. Why should not I have both sets of skills?’
He threw his head back and laughed. ‘There. That is not the answer one would expect from a Trader’s daughter, either. At least, not one of our generation. A proper girl would be simpering over my compliment to her dancing, not asserting her ability to be a good sailor. You remind me of the tales Ophelia tells. According to her, there was a time when the women worked right alongside the men, in every trade, and sometimes excelled them.’
‘Anyone who knows the history of Bingtown knows that when our ancestors came to the Cursed Shores, each one had to scrabble for a living. You know that as well as I do.’ She felt a bit annoyed with him. Did he think she was improper?
‘I know it,’ he admitted quietly. ‘But there are a lot of women in Bingtown who would no longer admit that.’
‘Mostly because it is no longer fashionable. And mostly because their fathers or brothers would be ashamed of them if they did.’
‘True. However, watching you, I have come to see that they are false, not just to history but to life. Althea. Of late, my parents have been urging me to seek a wife. I was born late in their lives; they’d like to see grandchildren before they are too old to enjoy them.’
Althea listened in stunned silence. His sudden words shocked her. He could not be taking this conversation in that direction, could he?
‘When I’m in Bingtown, my mother invites Trader daughters and their mothers over to endless teas. I’ve obediently attended the gatherings and balls. I’ve danced with a few women,’ here he smiled at her warmly. ‘Several have seemed interested in me. Nevertheless, all the courtships I have begun have ended in disappointment. Always the same thing. My father looks at the woman I am seeing and asks me, “Will she be able to take care of herself and a household and children, while you are off sailing?” Then I look at her with that in mind, and no matter how lovely or witty or charming she is, she never seems strong enough.’
‘Maybe you are not giving the women a chance to prove themselves to you,’ Althea ventured.
Grag shook his head regretfully. ‘No. Two of them I asked directly. I reminded them that I expected to be someday the captain of the liveship Ophelia. How would it be, I asked, to know you must share me with a ship? A demanding and sometimes possessive ship, I added, to be honest. I reminded them I would be gone months at a time. That I might not be home when my children were born, or when the roof sprang a leak or harvest season came around.’ He shrugged eloquently. ‘One and all, they told me that surely I could arrange to be home more after we were married. When I said I could not, they refused my suit. Genver went so far as to come aboard the Ophelia, and suggest that she could sail with me after we were married, if I could triple the size of the captain’s room. But only until we had children. Then I would have to somehow arrange my life to be home more often than not.’
‘Did not you court anyone who was born into a liveship family? A girl who would understand what your ship meant to you?’
‘I danced with one once,’ he said quietly.
The silence held. If he expected her to say something, Althea had no idea what. Grag moved very slowly, as if he were afraid she would startle. With one finger, he touched her hand where it rested on the bed. A small touch, but it sent a shiver up her arm even as dismay filled her heart. She liked Grag and found him attractive, but this was no time for either of them to act on that. Had she invited this? How should she deal with it? Was he going to try to kiss her? If he did, would she let him?
She suspected she would.
Grag came no closer. His voice went deeper and softer. His blue eyes were gentle and confiding. ‘In you, I see a strong woman. One who could sail with me, or capably manage things ashore while I was gone. I see someone who is not jealous of Ophelia.’ He paused and smiled ruefully. ‘If anything, I am a bit jealous of how quickly she has become fond of you. Althea, I cannot imagine a better choice for a wife than you.’
Although she had been anticipating his words, they still stunned her. ‘But…’ she began, but he lifted a warning finger.
‘Hear me out. I have been giving much thought to this, and I see advantages for you, as well. It is scarcely a secret that the Vestrit fortunes have not prospered lately. The Vivacia is not yet paid for; that leaves you as ransom to the family’s debt. It is also well known that the Rain Wild Traders would not consider taking a woman who is already married, or who has pledged marriage. Simply by considering my offer, you could put yourself out of their reach.’ He watched her face carefully. ‘We are a wealthy family. My wedding gift to your mother would be substantial, enough to secure her old age. You have made it clear you have no faith that Kyle will care for her.’
Althea found it hard to speak. ‘I don’t know what to say. We’ve talked as friends, and yes, we’ve flirted a bit, but I had no notion that your feelings ran strong enough to propose marriage.’
Grag gave a small shrug. ‘I’m a cautious man, Althea. I see no sense in letting my feelings run ahead of me. In this stage of our relationship, I see planning rather than passion as what we must first share. We should be talking honestly with one another, to see if we share the same ambitions and goals.’ He was watching her face carefully. As if to give the lie to these words, he touched her hand again with one fingertip. ‘Do not think I don’t feel an attraction towards you. You must know that I do. Nevertheless, I am not the sort of a man who would fling his heart where his head had not gone first.’
He was so serious. Althea tried for a smile. ‘And I feared you were going to try to kiss me.’
He returned her smile, shaking
