The butterflies already doing a dance in her stomach turned into rambunctious, fluttering birds. Big ones. “Oh, dear, do you need to go?”
He squeezed her hand. “Not a chance. Lou has already heaped a boatload of guilt on me. Tomorrow she’ll throw a few more zingers my way. Same old thing. I’m used to it. Getting to yank my chain is one of her favorite things. Besides, she’s starting to take my presence for granted. It’s a bad habit, more than likely for both of us.”
Gabi frowned. “Do you do this a lot? Bail on the kids, I mean?”
“Absolutely not,” he said, his indignation plain. “In fact, that’s my point. I’m over at that house almost every afternoon providing backup for her while she settles down after work and gets dinner on the table. Even the most dedicated uncle deserves an occasional break. My mistake today was not giving her a heads-up. Usually her husband’s at the games, but he’s a doctor and had an emergency call. Since she can’t yell at him, I got the brunt of today’s lecture.”
Gabi relented. “It’s nice, though, that she can count on you,” she said, wondering who she’d be able to count on if she did decide to keep her baby.
It was all well and good for her grandmother and sisters to promise backup, but Emily was in Los Angeles, Samantha in New York and her grandmother here in Sand Castle Bay. Obviously they wouldn’t be dropping by to babysit if she returned to her life in Raleigh and a new demanding job. A high-paying job, she reminded herself. She could afford a nanny or the best day care in town, if it came to that, she decided with a sigh of relief.
Wade regarded her curiously. “What was that for?”
“Just mentally solving a problem. Sorry.”
“Care to share?”
“No need. Just thinking, though, that Louise is lucky to have you around.”
“I’ll always be here for her,” Wade said. “I like her kids. I’ll be honest, though. When Jason came along, about a year after my baby would have been born, I had a little trouble at first. Louise already had four fantastic children, and I’d lost my one and only chance for a baby. It didn’t seem fair. It took me a while to accept that life isn’t always fair and that none of it was that baby’s fault, or Louise’s. I still feel bad that I steered clear for a while.”
Gabi liked that he had an actual flaw, one he could acknowledge. Up to now he’d seemed almost too good to be true; such a vast improvement over Paul, it made him a little too attractive.
“It sounds to me as if you were just being human,” she told him. “We all feel resentful from time to time. At least you saw that you were being unreasonable and made peace with them.”
Wade nodded toward the house. “Speaking of family dynamics, how’s it going in there?”
“Surprisingly well,” she admitted. “Dad didn’t keel over when he found out I’m pregnant. He actually offered to pay for Emily’s wedding, albeit the suggestion had come from Grandmother. And he was openminded about talking to Jimmy. I stayed with them for a few minutes, long enough to see that the second Jimmy realized what my dad does in the biomedical field, he had a million questions.”
Wade shook his head. “Does that kid astonish you every time he opens his mouth? He’s really something.”
“Dad’s clearly impressed. When I came to look for you, they were actually discussing some journal article Jimmy said he’d read online. There’s not a doubt in my mind that Dad will do everything in his power to see Jimmy gets one of those scholarships. In fact, I wish he’d shown half as much interest in my career.”
Wade frowned at that. “He didn’t?”
Gabi shook her head. “Not to belabor the point, but I did everything I could think of to impress him, to follow in his footsteps, not as a biomedical guru, but working in the industry. He was oblivious. He wouldn’t even help me get a job at his company after graduation, even though I was more than qualified.”
“Why would he do that?” Wade asked.
“He said it would be awkward, that it would be perceived as nepotism.”
“I’ll bet that hurt.”
“It did,” she admitted. “Now, though, I get it. What if he’d been the one who had to fire me because I got pregnant? Can you imagine?”
“Do you think he would have?”
“Not a doubt in my mind,” she said instantly, then hesitated. “Though he didn’t react the way I’d expected him to when I told him I’d lost my job. He almost seemed to be on my side.”
“Sounds as if the dad gene kicked in,” Wade said.
Gabi smiled. “That was exactly it. It sure wasn’t what I’d expected, given our history.”
“So, what’s next?” Wade asked.
“Lunch should be ready any minute,” she told him.
He smiled. “I meant for you. How’s that plan of yours coming along?”
Gabi sighed. “It’s not. To be frank, I haven’t got the first clue about my next step.”
“I had a feeling that’s what you were going to say,” Wade said.
“Why?”
“Because all this focus on Jimmy was clearly a way to avoid dealing with your own situation.”
Gabi was about to argue the point, but then realized she couldn’t. Not really. “You’re probably right. I did see a chance to help someone who really deserves it. It was a situation I actually thought I might be able to control, while my own?” She shrugged. “Not so much.”
“And control really matters to you?”
“Of my life? Sure. What about you? Don’t you like to know where you’re headed, what you need to do to get there?”
“Not really. I tend to take things a day at a time, especially the past couple of years. I got hit upside the head with a lesson in what really matters. I also learned the hard way how little control we really have over those things.”
Perplexed, she studied him, wondering how he could possibly live with the uncertainty. “But what drives you?”
Wade laughed. “I suppose I’m not driven, not the way you mean. I don’t have huge ambitions. What I do have are things I love to do and a lifestyle that allows me to do them.”
It was a laid-back concept that was totally alien to her. “I don’t understand.”
“Because you’ve always had a plan,” he teased, then added quickly, “And that’s not necessarily a bad thing.”
“But you say it as if it is,” she accused. “Structure’s important to me. The past couple of weeks since I left my job, the lack of structure and focus has almost driven me crazy. I don’t know what to do with myself, so I do nothing.”
“Maybe
