I take your hand again?”
She took it without waiting for a response, began to play with his wedding band. Though he had comforted many survivors, none were as overtly sexual—as deadly sexual—as this one. He kept his face impassive and said, “Do you have a boyfriend you want me to call?”
Lilah’s eyes suddenly grew cold. “No.”
“How about your bro—”
“Give me a break!” She jerked her hand away.
“Would you feel more comfortable if you were interviewed by a woman?”
“Would you feel more comfortable if I was interviewed by a woman?”
“Lilah, I want to nab the monsters who did this to you. Take them off the street so they can’t do it to some other woman. But to do that, I need your help. I really need your help.”
Again, her eyes moistened. “It’s just so hard.”
“I’m sorry. I really am sorry.”
She grabbed his wrist before he could pull away and brought his hand to her cheek. “I connect with you.”
Ignoring the impulse to tug his hand away, he said, “I’m glad you connect with me. Maybe you can connect me to your attackers.”
Lilah broke into laughter and tears at the same time. Slowly, she kissed his fingers one at a time.
Despite himself, he felt a pull down below and decided to break physical contact. “Can you talk about what happened?”
She settled back. “Yes, I can. I feel strong now.”
“You say you didn’t hear them come in?”
“No.”
“You were asleep.”
“Yes.”
“Do you happen to know what time you awoke?”
“No.”
“You woke when you felt them on top of you.”
“Actually, I sensed them. Before I felt them, before I opened my eyes. But I couldn’t wake myself up fast enough. I couldn’t react … then … it was too late. They were on top of me … slapping me … hitting me … with … their fists … beating …”
Decker realized she was gasping and told her to wait a moment. When Lilah regained a steady tempo of respiration, she said, “Why didn’t they just break open the safe and leave? Why did they have to destroy my belongings? Why did they have to hit me? Why did they hurt me? Why did they rape me?”
“Because these guys are monsters and they enjoy hurting women.”
“But why! Oh, hell, I know there aren’t any simple answers. You’re not like that, Peter, I can tell. I feel so safe. So … protected when I’m with you.”
“That’s what the police are for.”
She locked eyes with him, not pleased with his response. He knew it, but continued anyway.
“I’m going to have to ask you some sensitive questions. Do you think you’re up to answering them?”
“I don’t know.”
“If you start to feel panicky, stop until you’re calmer. I don’t care how long it takes. I want to make this as comfortable as possible for you. All right?”
She nodded.
“Did both men rape you?”
“Just … I … only one.”
“You’re sure?”
“Just one. I’m positive.”
“Did he penetrate you vaginally?”
Her face whitened but she answered yes.
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
“Did he penetrate you anally?”
She shook her head.
“Did he attempt to penetrate you anally?”
“No.”
“You’re doing great, Lilah. Just a few more questions. Did he ejaculate inside of you?”
“I …” She buried her face in her hands. “I don’t remember really. While it was happening, I blanked it out.”
“That’s okay. That’s normal, Lilah. Did either of your attackers force you to copulate orally with them?”
“No.”
“All right. Did both attackers hit you?”
“I think so … I was hit first … held down …”
“Take your time.”
“First … hit. Then they … one of them … went to the safe while the other … raped.”
“Okay. One of them opened the safe while the other raped you.”
“Yes.”
“Then what happened? Do you remember?”
“He … someone started breaking things … I think the first one was still raping me … while the other broke things. It seemed to last forever.”
“Did either one of them talk to you?”
“No.”
“Not even at the beginning?”
“I … I’m sorry. Everything is such a blur. One of them might have said, ‘I have a gun.’ But I really don’t remember.”
“Do you know which one raped you?”
“I could describe his face, yes.”
“Did you see a gun, Lilah?”
“He … at … I think I felt the gun at my head. I felt on my temple … you know. He must have been holding it. I was … it hurt. I thought I was … going to die.”
There was a moment of silence.
“Do you want to take a break?” Decker asked.
“I’m … all right.”
“It’s no problem to stop.”
“No … not yet.”
“Okay. You think you were beaten before you were raped.”
