Lex’s expression didn’t change. He stubbed out his smoke, took another swig from his beer, and set it on the table. “You have you a think on it, aye? Ain’t needing the answer on the now, you gimme the tell on the morrow.”
Terrible shrugged. “Answer ain’t changin.”
“Aye? Whyn’t you get the thoughts, anyway, we chatter again.” Lex stood up and started toward the door. Chess and Terrible moved back a few steps into the kitchen so he could get past, but he stopped a foot or so away from them. Almost—but not quite—too close.
“Oughta give one more thing the mentions here. You ain’t wanna come on with me … means I get on finding one who will, dig, get me a steel-man of my owns. Ain’t sure Downside got size enough for two, aye? Rather not be fighting you causen of Tulip, but … got plans, I do, an I ain’t losing em.”
Chess closed her eyes. Fuck. This couldn’t be happening. There was no way she was standing in her own kitchen, listening to Lex threaten Terrible while Terrible’s hand twitched on the back of her neck and anger rolled off him in thick waves.
When she opened her eyes again, Lex stood by the door. “On the laters, Tulip. Give you a ring-up, I will.”
What was she supposed to say? Great? Awesome, you do that? She managed to raise her hand in a weak sort of wave before the door closed behind him, leaving Chess alone with Terrible and his rage.
She didn’t want to look at him. The thought of what she might see in his eyes scared her, and that made her even angrier because she wasn’t supposed to be scared of him, and that scared her even more, and four Cepts had totally not been enough. She’d have to grab another one. Immediately. Five was pushing it, but not beyond the boundary of acceptable.
But first … time to pay the piper, or take her punishment, or whatever the hell. She glanced up at him, found him staring at the door like he expected it to fly back open and reveal Lex with a loaded gun.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” she managed. “I didn’t— He was waiting here when I got home, and he said he wanted to talk to you, he wanted me to ask you to talk to him. He didn’t tell me why or what he wanted.”
His hand left her neck, leaving her skin cold and oddly light, missing its warm weight. She watched him pull his bottle of bourbon out of the cabinet and down a couple of swigs. Watched him grab a beer out of the fridge, stride past her to the couch—the other side from where Lex had sat—and chase the shots with almost half the bottle. Shit. Of course he drank—who the fuck didn’t?—but not like that, not usually. Not like he was trying to drown something out, forget it, get rid of it, hide it under an ocean of booze until no one even knew it had been there.
Not like … well, not like her.
What was she supposed to do? She’d already apologized. She’d explained. He wasn’t responding. Damn it, she wasn’t good at this, didn’t have any experience with this. She’d never even dated someone for more than a single night, at least not before Lex came along, and they’d never really gotten mad at each other because their relationship didn’t matter enough to bother getting mad over. So what the hell was her reaction supposed to be?
Whatever it was, she guessed standing there staring at him wasn’t it. She dug in her bag for another pill and forced it down without water while she sat next to him. Not touching him—that might not be a good idea—but close to him, so the heat from his leg brushed against hers.
“So I know that probably wasn’t what you wanted to deal with right when you walked—”
“He got the truth?”
“What?”
He lit another cigarette off the butt of the first one. His eyes stayed focused on the stained-glass window. “He got the truth. That what you’re wanting? Me with him?”
“What—no, no, I mean, I wouldn’t ask you to do that.”
Even as she said it, a sneaky, selfish part of her wondered if it was entirely true. Oh, who was she kidding? Pretty much all of her was sneaky and selfish, but it was still just a small part of her that wondered.
She couldn’t ask Terrible to do that. Not ever. But she couldn’t deny it would be so much easier. For Terrible to stop hating Lex, to stop gritting his teeth and clenching his fists every time Lex’s name came up—which wasn’t often—and to not get mad if she wanted to get something to eat with Lex. To not get mad when she went shopping or whatever with Lex’s sister Blue—Beulah, actually, but she preferred Blue, and in that Chess supposed she didn’t blame her—who had become her friend, weird as that was.
Even weirder was how she was more willing to give up Lex than Blue, if she really thought about it. It was kind of cool having a female friend, even if they didn’t do girlie-type things. No manicures or pink cocktails, and no chatting about sex—at least, not on Chess’s part. Blue was more open, but then Blue was dating some married guy so didn’t have anyone else to talk to about him. But it was … well, it was fun. She couldn’t help it. It was.
Chess didn’t want to think about it, didn’t want to dream about it, but she couldn’t help the images that bounced through her head in the few seconds before she managed to shut them down. The four of them hanging out at Lex’s place, drinking beer on her roof, her not feeling guilty and shitty anymore when Lex called or she went somewhere with Blue. Terrible could just smile and give her a kiss and tell her to have fun …
Right, sure. And then they could all go for a frolic in the sparkly diamond rain.
Besides, the thought of Lex and Terrible together all the time—that would never work. Could never work. Even without the whole business rivalry, Terrible hated Lex. Hated Lex because of her, hated Lex because he knew she’d been leaving him after an evening of hanging out—after many evenings of hanging out—and heading over to Lex’s place to spend the night in his bed. She’d betrayed him with Lex, over and over again, and even if she could expect him to put his loyalty to Bump aside she knew he couldn’t possibly ever forget that.
Hell, even if he tried, Lex wouldn’t let him, would he?
Terrible watched her, watched her tight so she felt like she couldn’t escape. She wanted to rest her head against his shoulder, wrap her arms around him, but something told her she should hang back. “No. I don’t want that.”
His eyes searched hers. “Aye?”
“Aye.” She smiled.
He smiled back, a brief flash of a smile across his face before his mouth twisted down again. “He ain’t lyin on havin plans. Two street men dead in the last week, dig. Right onna corners, just left there.”
“Lex killed them?”
“Ain’t can see who else done it. Watchers said dudes pull theyselves up in a car, jump out, stab em up an take off again. Ain’t even dipped them pockets, dig.”
Shit. “So … what are you guys doing?”
“Do what we gotta, aye? Ain’t can have that shit. Wonder on he not sayin on it, but guessing he ain’t with you here.”
“Or he didn’t mention it because he wants you to work with him.”
Terrible
