no contact with Hannah, either. And some of the western cells should still be intact,’ Zoe went on. ‘They reported straight to you – there were no links with the eastern network.’
I spoke up. ‘I never realised how much of the resistance was going on here, on the mainland.’
‘You thought the island was the only thing that mattered?’ Zoe said.
I shrugged. ‘That was the main thing, wasn’t it?’
Piper pursed his lips. ‘The thing about the island – it mattered that it existed. It was a symbol – not just for the resistance, but for the Council too. It was a signal that there could be a different way. But it was never going to be big enough for all of us. Even in those final months, we were having to turn down some requests from refugees – until we’d built up our capacity. Added to the fleet, sorted out the supply situation.’ He shook his head grimly. ‘It was never going to be the final answer.’
Zoe interrupted him. ‘Most people on the island did nothing. They felt like great rebels just for living out there, but that was it. They might have joined the guards or done a few shifts in the lookout posts, but not many of them were actually actively contributing – coming to the mainland to help with rescues; running the safehouse network; monitoring the Council’s movements. Even some of those in the Assembly with Piper – they were happy enough to sit about in the Assembly Hall, looking at maps and talking about strategy, but you wouldn’t catch half of them making the crossing. The mainland was where the hard work still happened – but once they’d made it to the island, most people never came back.’
‘I wouldn’t have put it like that, but Zoe’s right,’ Piper said. ‘A lot of people on the island were complacent. They thought being there was enough. It was those on the mainland, or working the courier ships between the two, who did most of it. Zoe did more than most, and she’s never even been to the island.’
I looked up quickly. ‘Really? I was sure that you had,’ I said.
‘They never wanted any Alphas setting foot on the place – even I understood why.’ Zoe was hunched over the rabbit. She pulled the fur from the flesh as if peeling off a glove. ‘Why did you think I’d been there?’
‘I guess because you dream about the sea all the time.’
I didn’t realise I knew it, until I heard myself say it. In all those nights that we’d slept close to one another, I’d shared her dreams, the same way I’d shared her water flask or her blanket. And her dreams were all of the ocean. Perhaps that’s why it hadn’t struck me before: I was used to it, after my years of dreaming of the island. Used to the sea’s restlessness, and its shifting register of greys, blacks and blues. In Zoe’s dreams, though, there hadn’t been any island, nor any land at all: just the churning sea.
One minute Zoe was squatting by the fire, the rabbit’s flaccid body in her hands; the next her knife was at my stomach.
‘You’ve been snooping in my dreams?’
‘Stand down,’ said Piper. He didn’t shout, but it was a command nonetheless.
The blade didn’t budge. Her other hand had grasped a handful of my hair, her knuckles jabbing against my skull, holding me in place. The blade had gone straight through my jumper and shirt, and was pressed flat against my stomach; I felt its cold indentation on my skin. My head was twisted back and to the side. I could see the rabbit on the ground where she’d dropped it, its wrung neck and open eyes.
‘What the hell have you been doing?’ she said. As she leaned closer the blade became more insistent. ‘What did you see?’
‘Zoe,’ warned Piper. He wrapped his arm around her neck, but he didn’t fight her – just held her, and waited.
‘What did you see?’ she repeated.
‘I told you. Just the sea. Lots of waves. I’m sorry – I can’t control it. I didn’t even realise until just now.’ I couldn’t explain to her how it worked. How my awareness of her dreams wasn’t an eavesdropping, any more than I’d eavesdropped on the sea while on the island. It was just there, a background noise.
‘You said it didn’t work like that,’ she said, her breath hot on my face. ‘You said you couldn’t read minds.’
‘I can’t. It’s not like that. I just get impressions, sometimes. I don’t mean to.’
She shoved me backwards. When I’d steadied myself, I put my hand to my stomach. It came away red.
‘It’s rabbit blood,’ Piper said.
‘This time,’ said Zoe.
‘If it makes any difference,’ I said, ‘you know what I dream about.’
‘Everyone within ten miles knows what you dream about, the way you scream and carry on.’ She tossed the knife down next to the half-skinned rabbit. ‘That doesn’t give you the right to poke around in my head.’
I knew how it felt – I would never forget the sense of violation that The Confessor’s interrogations had left me with. How my whole mind had felt sullied by her probings.
‘I’m sorry,’ I called after her, as she walked away towards the river.
‘Let her go,’ said Piper. ‘Are you OK? Show me your stomach,’ he said, reaching out to lift my jumper.
I swiped his hand away.
‘What was that about?’ I said, staring after Zoe.
He picked up the rabbit and shook the dirt from its flesh. ‘She shouldn’t have done that – I’ll talk to her.’
‘I don’t need you to talk to her for me. I just want to know what’s going on. Why did she react like that? Why is she like this?’
‘It’s not easy for her,’ he said.
‘Who has it been easy for? Not for me, that’s for sure. Not for you, or any of us.’
‘Just give her some space,’ he said.
I waved at the plain surrounding us, the pale grass stretching for miles, and the sky so big that it seemed to have encroached on the earth itself. ‘Space? There’s nothing here but space. She doesn’t have to be in my face every moment.’
I got no answer but the rasping of the grass in the wind, scratching at the underside of the sky, and the moistened scrape of Piper’s knife on the rabbit’s flesh as he finished the skinning.
Zoe didn’t come back until after dawn. She ate in silence, and slept on the far side of Piper, instead of her usual spot between us.
I thought of what she’d said earlier: once they’d made it to the island, most people never came back. Is it Piper she’s thinking of, I wondered, when the sea floods her sleeping mind? The sea that he crossed for the island, leaving her on her own, after all that she’d given up to be with him.
I’d
