could they keep something like this from me my whole bloody life? Didn’t they think I had a right to know who my biological father was? It’s not as if I’d have ditched my dad and run off to find this Derek bloke, is it? Nothing’s ever going to change the fact that Simon Reed is the man who’s been there for every big moment in my life and brought me up as his own. I just… I don’t know. I feel as if my whole life up to this point has been one big lie.’
I grabbed a California roll and stuffed it into my mouth, hoping the taste would somehow distract me from my ever-growing mountain of problems.
Frankie, cool and collected as ever, raised one of her perfectly defined eyebrows as she ate her spicy tuna roll. ‘The way I see it, Em, there’s only one thing you can do: go to Luna Bay. You’re due loads of leave since you practically live in the office, and I’m sure Paul wouldn’t mind. While you’re there, you could meet up with Derek and finally get the answers you’re looking for.’
I grimaced. ‘I dunno, Frankie. It’s in the arse-end of nowhere, I wouldn’t be able to do any work and there won’t be a decent coffee shop or sushi restaurant for miles! You know me; if I have to do without my California rolls and double espressos for too long, I go mad.’
She cocked her head to one side, much like Tara had done earlier but without the condescension. ‘OK, so you’d have to do without some creature comforts for a few weeks. Wouldn’t it be worth it to finally meet Derek and find out all about him? You said it yourself: you feel like your whole life up till last night has been a lie. If you go to Luna Bay and spend some time with him, you might find that things start to make a bit more sense. Did you never feel like something was different before last night?’
I shook my head, the salty tang of tears stinging the back of my throat. ‘Nope, never. I think if I had, this would’ve been a bit easier to deal with. I would’ve thought “so that’s why I’ve always felt a bit out of place” and felt, I dunno, relieved or something. But I don’t because I never for a second suspected that my dad wasn’t my dad. He was… he is… in every sense of the word apart from stupid, sodding DNA. It must’ve torn him apart to bring up another man’s kid, but he never showed it.’
Frankie reached over and put a hand over mine. ‘See this right here? This is why you should go to Luna Bay. If you don’t, you’ll drive yourself mad trying to fill in the gaps and end up upsetting yourself. What do you reckon? Think you could stand missing a few art exhibitions and sushi lunches to find out more about this guy?’
I paused for a moment to think, taking another California roll as I mulled things over. ‘You know what? You’re absolutely right!’
Operation Find Derek came together surprisingly quickly. It started with me marching into Paul’s office just after lunchtime.
‘I want to talk about booking some leave,’ I said, taking a seat on his rickety visitor’s chair. ‘I… I’ve had a bit of a family crisis, you see, and I was wondering if I could use up all my leave to sort it out.’
I looked up at him as he fiddled with a packet of sherbet, trying to mine the remainder out from the creases in the paper. His face twisted into expressions showing varying degrees of frustration before he gave up and shoved the whole lot in the bin.
‘Sorry, what did you say?’
I gritted my teeth and repeated myself, putting special emphasis on the ‘family emergency’ part.
‘So what do you say? I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate, and we aren’t too busy at the moment.’
It felt odd to not use my usual no-nonsense, ball-busting approach. I felt vulnerable and exposed; there was no bravado or bluster to hide behind. I was just a girl sitting in front of her boss, asking for time off to go and chase after her long-lost biological father.
He chewed over it for a moment, umming and ahhing and sucking air in through his teeth.
‘I don’t know, Emily. You’re one of my top development managers and I can’t afford to have you away for too long. What’s this family emergency you need to sort out?’
I felt a furious blush creep into my cheeks. ‘I’d rather not go into specifics, but I’m planning to visit a little village in Yorkshire called Luna Bay for a while.’
The name sparked Paul’s interest and he began to rummage through a large pile of papers on his desk. Eventually, he found what he was looking for and flashed me a triumphant grin.
‘How about you make it a working holiday? We’ve got this little B&B down there we’d like to get our hands on: a place called Sunflower Cottage. Why don’t you book in there, try and talk the old biddy who owns it into selling to us, and you can do whatever you need to do at the same time? It’d put you in a really good position for another promotion. Plus, if it makes you feel any better, she sent Tara packing when she went down there a few months ago.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘Paul, I’m asking to take annual leave to sort something out, not take on more work! Why don’t you send someone else to do it. I probably won’t have the time to work while I’m there.’
‘You’ll be in the area anyway,’ said Paul, ‘so it doesn’t make sense to send two people when I can just send one. Think about it; you’ve missed out on one promotion, but land this place and you’ll be in with a shout for another.’
He raised his eyebrows in a come-on-you-know-you-want-to gesture and slid the piece of paper across to me. It was the particulars for Sunflower Cottage. From what I could tell, it was one of those little seaside B&Bs that relied on its flock of regulars rather than passing trade. Attached to the particulars was a blurry picture of the exterior. No pictures of the rooms had been included; I imagined it being stuck in a time warp. It was probably all moth-eaten carpets and net curtains.
‘Why do we want this?’ I asked, screwing my nose up in confusion and giving Paul back the particulars. ‘We aim at the high-end luxury market; this looks more like a retirement home!’
Paul gave a chuckle that sounded vaguely nervous and smiled. ‘Going for the grey pound, I think the boss said! Big market these days, apparently. So what do you say? I’ll grant your annual leave request now if you agree to get this in our portfolio.’
I picked up the particulars again, deep in thought. ‘Go on then. How hard can it be to land one little bed and breakfast?’
Paul gave a faint grin and looked up at me. ‘Oh, you have no idea.’
*
My trip to Luna Bay was booked and confirmed later that day; I’d be leaving the following morning for a month. Trips to potential clients didn’t usually last that long, but Paul had said the owner was ‘particularly resistant’ so I’d probably need more time to close the deal. Frankie put on her usual theatrics and said I couldn’t possibly leave because there would be nobody to help her fix her terrible life choices.
‘I’ll miss ya terribly, honey, I do declare!’ she’d said while pretending to faint like a Southern belle.
She wasn’t the only one who had an opinion on my leaving. My mum had an absolute meltdown when she heard the news and demanded a last-minute ‘inspirational pep talk’. Given that the last one had ended with me finding out I had a long-lost
