was early and the hospital and ICU ward were still peaceful. Cormac and Rosemary had arrived looking slightly less weary having spent the night in a nearby hotel, although they were both quiet and subdued. Rosemary had a paperback with her and she began reading silently as Cormac scanned a newspaper. Carly was sitting at Fergus’s side scanning his music collection; she had been playing his music through the vibrating speaker all night. There had been no change in Fergus. Not a flicker of an eyelash or a twitch of a finger – nothing.
Carly let out a huge yawn; she was exhausted. Sooner or later she would have to accept that she needed to go home for a proper sleep in her own bed. Nobody had said as much but she was starting to realize that this was only day three of what could be very many days at his bedside. She didn’t want to think about it but she knew she had to. Everything had changed so suddenly – what was meant to have been one of the happiest times of her life had quickly become a nightmare. It was still unclear why some lout had smashed a bottle over Fergus’s head and she wondered if he had any idea of how quickly that action had changed so many lives.
Maybe it was the tiredness but she felt like a layer of bubble wrap surrounded her and numbed her senses. She almost couldn’t believe this was reality. Each time she thought, This can’t be happening, the beep of the machines reminded her that it was. Watching the man she loved lying there still and lifeless sent shivers of fear down her spine. How long would they have to play this waiting game? The hours spent watching Fergus looking pale and unresponsive put everything into perspective. All she needed was to have her indestructible Fergus back and everything would be right again. Carly wiped away a tear, only half aware of them now as they seemed to start without her noticing. She looked up and spotted that the middle-aged man from the bed opposite had disappeared in the night and she convinced herself that it was because he had recovered. She couldn’t bear to think about the alternative.
Carly looked through the photographs on Fergus’s phone; she especially liked all the silly selfies they had taken together. They looked happy in every photo, even the ones where they were pulling sad clown faces. Fergus looked different lying there in the hospital bed. It was like she was looking at a different person. She couldn’t explain exactly what it was, perhaps the lack of his smile or his mischievous eyes, she wasn’t sure, but there was definitely something missing from the man who lay motionless in the bed next to her.
Carly needed something to distract her tired mind so she pressed on the music icon. She was really getting the hang of the iPhone now, having struggled to start with, and she thumbed through the playlists and albums like an expert. Something caught her eye and she scrolled back.
‘Fergus, you dark horse,’ she mumbled to herself. Selecting the album, she pressed Play. She put her hand on the small vibrating device she had bought to check it was pulsating on his chest and it was. Carly picked up his hand and started to sign what was playing. It took a while for her to spell it out in finger signs. ‘Mamma Mia album first song “Honey, Honey”.’
She started to giggle. It was probably a mixture of anxiety and the ridiculous but the giggles took over. Cormac rustled his newspaper and Rosemary placed her bookmark in her current page and put her book down.
‘What is it?’ asked Rosemary, her laughter lines enhanced with concern.
Carly waved a hand as she tried to control her tittering. ‘Fergus and I don’t like the same sort of music but I’ve found some Abba in his music collection and I’m force-feeding it to him.’
‘Do you think the vibrator works?’ asked Rosemary in all innocence. Cormac coughed and Carly started to giggle again. ‘What?’
‘Tha’ wee thing there is a vibrating speaker, so it is,’ said Cormac, rolling his eyes. ‘Not a vibrator!’
‘It’s the same thing!’ protested Rosemary.
‘No, no it’s not!’ said Carly through her laughter.
‘Eejit,’ muttered Cormac, returning his eyes to his paper.
‘Do you think it works?’ asked Rosemary again, still not getting the joke.
Carly composed herself. ‘I honestly don’t know. I hope so because when he comes round it’ll be cool if he can get some pleasure from music again. He’s really missed it.’ In her head as she said the word ‘when’ another small voice said ‘if’ and Carly had to swallow hard to keep her emotions in check. She couldn’t think like that, she had to stay positive.
‘When he was a wee lad he loved his music. I used to think he’d glued those headphones to his head,’ said Rosemary chuckling at the memory. ‘He really liked that Cheeky Girls song.’
Cormac eyed them over the top of the paper and shook his head but a smile played on his lips. Carly was frantically pressing icons trying to work out how to download new music.
‘This is brilliant, Rosemary. What else did he like?’
Carly and Rosemary hatched an eclectic playlist of the songs from Fergus’s youth. They enjoyed putting it together but when it was on its second repeat, and there was still no reaction from Fergus, the excitement of the new playlist dwindled. She watched what was starting to play on the iPhone screen and spelled it out on his hand: ‘Sound of the Underground’ by Girls Aloud.
Without warning Fergus’s hand slowly closed around hers. Carly gasped and looked at Fergus’s face but there was no sign of any movement. Her stomach was tumbling over and she tried to quell the feeling of elation. She didn’t want to get her hopes up unnecessarily but this was a good sign. It had to be. The silent tears trickled down her cheeks and she hardly dare make his parents aware in case it broke the spell. She waved her left hand frantically and Rosemary glanced up from her book.
The words were hard to get out. ‘He’s holding my hand,’ said Carly, her voice lost in the deep emotion as she blubbed helplessly.
There was a moment before the sentence registered. ‘Mary, mother of God!’ exclaimed Rosemary, barging past Cormac and around to Carly’s side of the bed. Cormac followed her and they all stared at Fergus’s pale hand clasping Carly’s. Cormac wiped away a tear and put his arms around the two women. ‘He’s always liked to take his time has this one. Always liked to take his time,’ said Cormac, giving Carly’s shoulder a squeeze.
‘Nurse!’ called Cormac. ‘I think we have a few more vital signs that need checking out over here.’
The nurse came over and they explained excitedly what Fergus had done. She took Fergus’s hand from Carly and Carly wanted to hit her.
‘Hey! Do you have to do that?’ asked Carly, rising to her feet. She wasn’t a violent person but the sensation of having the contact taken away so abruptly made something primal flare up inside her.
‘Calm now, she’s just doing her job,’ soothed Cormac, and he beckoned Carly to sit back down.
The nurse didn’t look fazed; she most likely faced a lot worse on a regular basis. ‘I need to check a few things, okay?’ she asked but she was going ahead and checking them anyway. She went through the usual routine and jotted down her findings on Fergus’s notes. Carly sat back down and took Fergus’s hand in hers. She squeezed it but there was no response. She waited a moment and squeezed again.
‘He’s not gripping any more,’ said Carly, looking frantically from the nurse to Cormac and Rosemary.
‘Could have been a spasm,’ the nurse explained with a look of commiseration.
