Lately she was spending way too much time thinking about Matthew, wondering if she’d made a mistake in cutting him out of her life once and for all. Those were the kinds of weak, mostly sex-driven thoughts that could prove dangerous.
Biting back the desire to refuse, she forced herself to nod, forced a gracious note into her voice. “Thank you.”
Jess grinned at her, clearly understanding how difficult it had been for Laila to acquiesce. “You do know that working with me is no piece of cake, right? You won’t be thanking me a few weeks from now. You’ll be earning every penny of the generous salary Abby thinks we should pay you.”
“I learned how to deal with you years ago, when you were nothing more than an annoying little brat,” Laila countered. “I’ll survive.” Her gaze narrowed. “Maybe before I give you a final answer, though, you should tell me about Susie’s mission.”
“No big deal,” Jess claimed casually. “One thing has nothing to do with the other. She just wants to be sure you’re coming to Ireland with us for Christmas.”
When Laila opened her mouth to say such a trip was impossible, Jess held up her hand. “Before you refuse, think about this. Abby, Trace and your nieces will be going. All of your friends will be there—me, Susie, Connie, Shanna, Bree and Heather. If you refuse to come, you’ll be spending the holidays back here all alone with only your parents for company. Do you really want to endure an entire holiday season of their lectures about your many recent mistakes? “
Laila could envision the dreary situation Jess was describing all too clearly. She’d thought about it a hundred times since learning of the O’Briens’ plan to take their grandmother back to Ireland for Christmas.
Laila had always dreamed of visiting Ireland. Anyone living around the O’Briens had heard enough tales about Dublin and the countryside to make it sound idyllic. She loved the O’Briens—one of them a little too much, as a matter of fact. The temptation to say yes was nearly overwhelming, which was why she’d spent the last month studying brochures for holiday cruises and Christmas tours of Savannah and Charleston—anything to avoid giving in and going on a trip that had emotional disaster written all over it.
“I can’t,” she said, proud of herself for choking out the words.
Jess actually seemed a little startled by her flat refusal. “Of course you can.”
“Have you forgotten that the reason I am in this tiny little office rather than my great big impressive one at the bank is going to be in Ireland with the rest of you?”
“Matthew? Well, of course, he’ll be there, but it’s not about you and Matthew. It’s about Gram. It’s about Susie and Mack finally being able to celebrate their marriage and Susie beating cancer. Focus on all that. Hang out with the rest of us. You’ll hardly have to set eyes on Matthew if you don’t want to.”
That, of course, was the problem. She wanted to set eyes on Matthew. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, drag him into the biggest, softest feather bed around and have her wicked way with him. The man was like an addiction, one she hadn’t been able to kick no matter how hard she’d tried.
“Jess, you have no idea how badly I want to go with you, but I just can’t. The timing is all wrong.”
Her friend regarded her with a knowing expression filled with sympathy. “Because you’re still in love with him, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely not,” Laila said emphatically. “What Matthew and I had, it had nothing to do with love.”
A grin spread across Jess’s face. “Who are you trying to convince, my friend? Me or yourself?”
“You, of course,” Laila insisted. “I know how I feel.”
“You know how you want to feel,” Jess corrected. “But it’s not working out so well for you, is it? You haven’t gotten him out of your system. Not even close.”
Laila wanted to deny it, but Jess was right. Since she couldn’t utter an outright lie, she said, “Look, I agreed to work for the inn. Take your one victory and go.”
Jess dutifully stood up, started for the door, then turned back. “You know he’s miserable, don’t you?” she said softly, the parting shot coming as she hesitated in the doorway. “I know my cousin has his faults. Heaven knows, he has a history of being a huge flirt, a player, whatever you want to call it, but it was different with you, Laila. It really was. And having both of you miserable when it doesn’t need to be that way doesn’t make a lot of sense to me.”
“It’s the way it has to be,” Laila reiterated, unmoved. “We never should have gotten involved in the first place. The whole relationship was crazy, like some kind of fantasy. Matthew’s years younger than I am. It never would have lasted. I was just a temporary infatuation for him. If I hadn’t broken it off, eventually he would have. It was better this way.”
“Says who?”
“I say it,” Laila told her, holding her friend’s gaze with a steady look.
Jess clearly didn’t believe her. And Laila was having a hard time convincing herself. She knew, though, that she had to. It was the only way she’d ever be able to move on with her life.
“So help me, Matthew O’Brien, if you don’t make things right with Laila, I will never forgive you,” Susie declared, standing over her brother’s desk and glowering at him.
Matthew glowered right back. “Not at work, Susie,” he warned. “We’re not discussing my personal life here. I mean it.”
Naturally, she ignored him. “I will not have this honeymoon trip ruined, to say nothing of how terrible Gram will feel if you’re moping around Ireland missing Laila.”
“I won’t mope. I promise.”
She merely scowled at the offer. He sighed.
“Isn’t it enough for you that you have a clean bill of health from the doctor, and that your marriage to Mack is solid?” Matthew asked her plaintively. “Do you really need to meddle in my life, too?”
“Actually this isn’t about you. It’s about me and my happiness. I want Gram’s trip to Ireland to be perfect, and it won’t be if the entire family—the entire extended family—isn’t there.”
He pushed aside the architectural rendering he was supposed to have finished days ago. Lately his concentration was shot. He met his sister’s gaze.
“Look, nobody wants Laila in Ireland more than I do,” he admitted. “I’d planned to ask her to marry me there on Christmas Eve, if you’ll recall. That’s no longer in the cards, obviously, since she won’t even speak to me. If I try to talk her into going, she’ll turn me down flat. If her presence is so critical, put somebody else on the case.”
“I’ve already sent Jess,” Susie admitted. “No luck.”
“What about Trace? Surely her brother can talk some sense into her.”
“She’s not speaking to him at all. She’s lumped him in with her parents. They’re all the enemy right now. She wouldn’t even return Abby’s calls, and those were about work. She’s
