voice came beside her.
“Yes, they are.” She turned to him, noticing the happiness on his face. “Can I ask you what may be an impertinent question?”
“I’m not sure you’re capable of asking an impertinent question.” His eyes twinkled. “Ask away.”
Emma Jane took a deep breath. “How did you do it? The past year, you’ve faced unimaginable losses, and yet here you are, still opening your heart and home with such joy?”
“That’s a good question.”
Emma Jane watched as he looked around the yard, seeming to take in every detail. “I think it’s several things. The first is that the human capacity to love is limited by our humanness. But when we allow that love space within us to be filled with the Lord, our capacity to love is limitless.”
Put that way, it was easy to understand as Emma Jane pictured the many folks who came through their church and their community, as well as the nearby communities Pastor Lassiter served so tirelessly. She’d wondered how one person could accomplish all of that.
“How do you get the Lord to fill that love space?” Immediately, Emma Jane thought of Mrs. Jackson. Perhaps relying on her own power to love her mother-in-law was where she was making the mistake. Could God give her the strength to love Mrs. Jackson?
“Ask Him. Read your Bible. And let Him work in you.”
Then Pastor Jackson turned to her and looked at her intently. “The other thing that got me through was the realization that we must see everything that comes our way as an opportunity from the Lord. We remember to thank Him for the good things, but we also need to take the time to look at the bad and ask the Lord what He’s trying to teach us through the situation.” Clearing his throat, he waited a beat before saying, “For me, I learned that while it’s easy to love the Lord during the good times, we must also cling to Him through the bad. Love Him just as much in the hard times, because the kind of the love that most honors God is the love that endures all things.”
Still, Emma Jane couldn’t imagine the strength it took to endure all of the loss in Pastor Lassiter’s life. He took her hand.
“I know that your marriage, and the events surrounding it, are less than ideal. But don’t think for a moment that the Lord has abandoned you. Draw near to Him, and I promise that you will make it through in a way far more profound than you could have imagined. He has good plans for you, Emma Jane, and I am praying you will cling to Him as He sees you through.”
Tears pricked the backs of her eyes. No one had expressed such a deep belief in her before. And yet, as she thought back to the pastor’s earlier words about the love of God, she realized that he wasn’t just expressing his own personal belief about her, but God’s belief in her.
“Thank you.” Emma Jane squeezed his hand. “I appreciate you sharing your heart with me.”
Pastor Lassiter gave a small smile. “If it makes you feel any better, I will also tell you that there are days I miss my sweet Catherine so much it hurts. It seems brutally unfair that I had to lose her. But as it says in Job, I can’t accept only the good and not the bad from the Lord. It’s all right to feel that way. Just keep giving it to God, and He will be faithful in standing beside you.”
His openness touched Emma Jane deeper than any of his sermons ever had. She wanted that kind of relationship with the Lord. That depth of love and trust. She’d do as he said—when she got home, she’d spend as much time as she could reading her Bible. There wasn’t that much else to do at the Jackson mansion, anyway. She might as well spend the time being productive.
However, before she could formulate a response, Nugget came barreling toward them.
“Uncle Frank! Let’s eat! Maddie made fried chicken, and I’ve got my eye on one of the legs.”
From matters of the heart to matters of the stomach. Emma Jane couldn’t help the joy welling up in her at the absolute delight of being with this family. Oh, Lord, she prayed, please let me find this joy in my own home.
Emma Jane’s day with Mary had been exactly what she’d needed. Not only had she found incredible peace talking with Pastor Lassiter, but the afternoon spent visiting with Mary had given her a new strength. Their friend Polly, who was also staying at the parsonage with her family to help with the Stone children, had joined them, and Emma Jane could honestly not recall a more enjoyable afternoon. Then the three girls went to the barn, where the women from the fire were staying, and they were able to tend to some of the women’s needs. Emma Jane hadn’t had much of a chance to chat with her friend Nancy, so she’d promised to come back the following morning.
Which left her sitting in her luxurious bedroom in the Jackson mansion, Bible in front of her, and unable to sleep. The past several nights had been spent in misery, and now she felt so happy it seemed a sin to close her eyes.
Well, that and the fact that Jasper had not returned by suppertime as he’d promised.
Had he been hurt? Killed?
Or was it like all the promises she’d heard all her life from her father, the ones that consisted of “Things will be different this time, you’ll see.”
Nothing in her life had ever become different, not even when the one thing that was supposed to make a difference, marrying Jasper Jackson, had happened.
Floorboards creaked on the stairs, and Emma Jane jumped up. The Jacksons had already turned in for the evening, and surely by now the servants were already in bed. Which meant it had to be Jasper.
She opened the door and Jasper jumped.
“Emma Jane! What are you doing up?”
“Reading my Bible.” She smiled and opened the door wider. “How was your expedition? Was it successful?”
Jasper shook his head. “Another dead end.”
“Come in. Why don’t you tell me about it?”
Jasper looked at her like she was crazy. “I can’t come in your bedroom.” He glanced at her nightgown. “You’re not even properly dressed.”
With a sigh, Emma Jane pulled her shawl more tightly around her. “My nightgown is much more modest than what half the women wear around town. Besides, we’re married.” She smiled up at him. “I’ve already been compromised, so it’s not as though you can compromise me any worse.”
But he glowered at her words. “That’s not funny.”
Emma Jane sighed. “I’m sorry. I was just trying to lighten up a bad situation. I didn’t mean to hit a raw nerve. Can we pretend I didn’t make a thoughtless comment, and then you come in and tell me about your progress? I’d like to work on our friendship, if that’s all right with you.”
When he didn’t answer, Emma Jane continued. “Besides, I meant what I said about wanting to help. Since you won’t let me do anything, at least let me listen. One of the women today said that having someone listen to her troubles was help enough for her.”
For a moment,
