If You Don't Know By Now. Teresa Southwick
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“So what is that?” he asked. Just curious, he told himself. It wasn’t like he felt any sympathy for the kid. He’d just met her. And she’d argued with a direct order from her commanding officer. He supposed that was normal for a kid. But he wouldn’t know about that; he didn’t do the kid thing.
But he did do consequences and he’d seen too many since he’d left Destiny. Enough to last him two life times. Pain, suffering and death. He could never forget. He couldn’t help wondering what this beautiful, innocent little girl considered dire—as far as consequences in her safe world were concerned.
“I haven’t decided yet.” Maggie met his gaze as she caught the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth—again. She was pretty nervous about something, he thought. “But thanks for reminding me.”
“I couldn’t have reminded you if Faith hadn’t mentioned it,” he pointed out. He was trying to help the kid while at the same time struggling to ignore the way Maggie’s nervous habit made him want to taste her mouth.
Would she cut the kid some slack for voluntarily bringing it up? What kind of disciplinarian was she? He’d heard that when people who broke the rules as kids had kids of their own, they tended to act like a dictator trying to prevent a military takeover. He remembered teenage Maggie sneaking out to meet him. She’d been a good kid and he’d been her walk on the wild side. Her chance at defiance. But it had meant a lot to him. It was personal. He couldn’t remember the last time someone had made a loner like him personal.
They’d gone to the same high school, and both rodeoed. Her parents had for bid den her to see him because of his bad-boy reputation. They’d been right, but that hadn’t stopped stubborn, hard headed Maggie Benson. And he still couldn’t help being glad about that. Did Maggie’s daughter take after her? Or her father?
That pulled him up short as a lassoed calf. Who was Faith’s father?
The question stirred something inside him, the ashes of feelings that had burned out a long time ago.
Maggie put her hands on her hips. “Faith Elizabeth, go stay with Jensen Stevens until I come and get you. If you don’t—”
“I know,” the girl mumbled, digging the toe of her grungy white sneaker into the red dirt. “Dire con sequences.”
“That’s right,” Maggie con firmed. “Don’t make me tell you what they are.”
With head hanging and her hands in her pockets, the kid started to walk away. Stopping suddenly, she turned and smiled, a punch-to-the-gut beautiful smile that was one hundred percent her mother. “Thanks, Jack—”
“Mr. Riley,” her mother corrected.
“Captain Riley,” he clarified. “But Jack is okay.”
Faith slid her mother a slightly rebellious look. “It was nice to meet you, Jack. Thanks for saving me. I hope I see you again. ’Bye.”
“’Bye,” he answered.
He watched Maggie watch her daughter. “How old is she?” he asked.
Her shoulders visibly tensed. She took a deep breath, then slowly released it. “Nine.”
He did the math and his heart stuttered for a moment. Then he shook his head. Maggie would have told him. He remembered her saying she’d gotten over him. Must have been right away. Because up until then, she’d filled every letter with how much she loved and missed him. She must have met someone who’d made her forget about him right after she’d gotten her letter back, the one he’d marked Return to Sender. He’d wanted her to forget about him and move on. He had no right to feel anything because she’d done just that.
So why did he have to remember that just before he’d left, they’d been as physically close as a man and woman could be? She’d insisted on giving herself to him even though he’d tried to make her see that she was too young. In his gut he’d known being with her that way was wrong. But stubborn Maggie had dug in her heels and wouldn’t take no for an answer. It would have taken more will power than he possessed to turn away from the temptation she was back then. Still was, he corrected.
He found it oddly comforting that some things didn’t change. She was a unique combination of spirit, sex appeal and sass.
And she’d written that she loved him and always would. Now he’d discovered that her declarations had been short-lived. But, even if he wished it could have been different, he wasn’t entitled to regrets. He’d made his bed ten years ago and he had to suffer the con sequences. A woman like Maggie and a child like Faith would never be possible for an empty-hearted man like him.
But he couldn’t help wondering where the girl’s father was. Maggie had asked him what he’d been up to for the past ten years. He’d wanted to know if there was anyone special in her life. But he hadn’t inquired.
His training hadn’t included polite social skills. It had been more along the lines of three hundred ways to kill a man with his bare hands. Or how to fit in without drawing attention to himself.
“Nine years old,” he repeated. He catalogued the expression on Maggie’s face and figured she probably didn’t even realize she looked defensive. The expression was identical to Faith’s when she’d decided her back was against the wall and she’d best do what her mother said. “She reminds me of you.”
“Really?” She looked surprised, and relieved. “How?”
“Spirited. Willful. beautiful.”
He hadn’t meant to say that. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d said anything without calculating first.
Pink deepened in her cheeks, but she met his gaze dead-on. “You think I’m beautiful?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged. “But I didn’t think you were married.”
“I don’t recall you asking,” she countered.
He nodded toward her left hand. “No wedding band.”
“Ah,” she said. “You thought right. I’m not married.”
“Divorced?”
She hesitated. “No.”
He raised an eyebrow. “It’s got to be one or the other, Maggie.”
“No, it doesn’t. Not if I’ve never been married.” She didn’t look away and her small, pointed chin lifted slightly in the same rebellious gesture that he’d just seen on her daughter.
So she’d had Faith outside of marriage vows. That must have fried her folks, as protective as they were. What about the rest of the people in town? Had they been rough on her? She’d said her business had been around for five years, so if they had been, it was ancient history.
But damn it, that thinking was all a smoke screen. Typical of the cold hearted man he’d become, he couldn’t stop the feeling of satisfaction that she’d never married. But that meant she’d done it alone—not the conceiving part, the raising part. And it ticked him off that a guy would use Maggie, then walk out on her.
“Do I know