Dropping to her knees on the wet sand, she lowered her head and acknowledged the truth. Devin Rees had stolen the most important thing from her, leaving nothing but an empty shell behind.
Even if Luke could be persuaded to give her another chance, what could she offer him? She stared down at her shaking hands. Short nails edge with raw skin. Stubby fingers bereft of any traces of dark clay. An artist who couldn’t create – was there a more pathetic kind of creature? Putting pen to paper to help her niece make the place cards for Mia’s wedding had been an exercise in torture.
Staying in Butterfly Cove, watching week in and week out as her former peers descended on Daniel’s studios to paint, carve, sculpt and hammer beauty from nothing had become an exercise in self-flagellation. The thought of sitting in the sweet, cosy warmth of Kiki’s new teashop, gorging on slabs of cake which were masterpieces in their own right, as the visiting artists added new pieces to the planned gallery collection, might just break her.
There was nothing here for her. Mia and Kiki tried their best to help her, but she kept them at arm’s length. She didn’t want their sympathy, feared even more turning it into something harder, colder, if they discovered the reason she’d left Luke. They would continue to love her, of that much she was certain, but Kiki’s loyalties were already divided between her sister and the brother of the man she loved. The conversation she’d overheard earlier had made it crystal-clear. It hurt Nee to be the cause of any distress to her middle sister, who’d borne the brunt of so much already. But it hurt even more to watch her unfolding joy and contentment in the arms of the man who reminded Nee of everything she’d lost.
No. Not lost. Thrown away. Lying to herself had caused this ugly mess. There could be nothing but truth from now on. Nee would not become a millstone for her sisters to bear. They’d been happy before she’d shown up, would be happier once she left again, regardless of how much they would protest otherwise.
And, most important of all, she owed it to Luke.
She’d usurped his place here in Butterfly Cove and it was time to give it back. Never one to indulge a sulk for long, Nee gave herself a mental kick in the arse and forced her cramped body to stand. The lower half of her jeans were soaked, and her bones ached from the cold and rain soaking her skin. She folded down the collar of the coat, the once-cosy fleece now wet and clinging unpleasantly to her cheek. Shoving her frozen hands into the depths of her pockets, Nee trudged across the beach towards the beckoning warmth of the guest house.
A hot shower and a change of clothes did wonders for her outward appearance, though they couldn’t help much with the growing coldness inside her. Telling herself she needed to leave was one thing, but where the hell could she go? Not back to London, that was for damn certain. She’d find herself making excuses to hang around the places Luke liked to go, the way she had in the intervening weeks between her return from New York and her fateful decision to attend Mia’s wedding. Perhaps the answer lay in finding somewhere new…
Energised by the idea, she hurried down the remaining stairs and into the private sitting room Mia had created away from the guest spaces. The large wooden bookcase in the corner was stacked high with myriad different books, and she knew her brother-in-law had an old atlas somewhere around. She’d seen him pouring over it with Kiki’s little boy, Matty, the other weekend. Bursting into the room, she pulled up short. A white-faced Kiki clung hard to Mia’s hand while their older sister frowned and nodded at something the person on the other end of the phone pressed to her ear was saying.
Kiki glanced up and Nee could see the tear tracks on her cheeks. ‘It’s Mum,’ she whispered.
A wave of relief washed over Nee, followed swiftly by a sharp stab of guilt. Of the three of them, her relationship with Vivian was the most fractured, having never known the kindness and care she’d been capable of before her alcoholism had dug its claws deep. The two women sitting opposite her had, to all intents and purposes, raised her. Given her more than enough love to buffer their mother’s neglect and their father’s indifference. She crossed the room to sit cross-legged on the carpet in front of them, placing a hand on Mia’s knee in silent support.
Kiki leaned towards her. ‘She’s taken a turn for the worse,’ she whispered.
‘What else did the doctor say, Dad?’ They both turned towards Mia, who was staring off into the distance, uttering soothing noises as she listened to George’s response. The curve of her shoulders increased, as though the words she heard had a physical weight to them. Nee patted her leg, wishing there was something she could do to help. Mia sat up straighter, spine going ramrod-straight. ‘Okay. I need to sort a few things out and then I’ll be up first thing.’
Nee closed her eyes. Mia to the rescue, just like always. She dug her fingers into the rich pile of the carpet beneath her. An image of the sitting room, all warm creams and soft browns with splashes of rich red, filled her mind’s eye. She thought about the other rooms, the stylish bedrooms, the cosy warmth of the kitchen, each one a testament to the beautiful home Mia had built from the ashes of her past. Love and laughter infused every corner of the guesthouse. Just a few short weeks since their beautiful wedding, Mia and Daniel should be on their honeymoon, but they’d postponed it to throw all their energies into the guesthouse and studios. They had enough on their plates as it was without facing the prospect of spending time apart so soon.
Decision made, she opened her eyes. ‘I’ll go.’
Luke Spenser tapped on the frame of the kitchen door to get his mother’s attention. She glanced up with a quick smile, then finished sliding the roasting tray into the oven. ‘Beef,’ she said before moving to the sink to rinse her hands, turning her back to him in the process. ‘It’s your brother’s favourite.’
A quick handful of steps carried him to her side, and he leaned down to brush a kiss against her cheek. ‘Thanks, Mum.’
She looked at him through veiled lashes, and he wondered what was going on inside her head. Aaron had been tight-lipped about his visit home a couple of weeks’ previously, other than to say it had gone better than he’d expected. It would take time to bridge the gap between the two of them, but at least they were both trying. And Luke couldn’t ask for any more than that.
When Cathy had called, asking if he’d come down for an early birthday lunch for Aaron, he’d been happy to accept. Happier still when his dad had taken him to one side and told him it had been her suggestion. He squeezed her shoulders in a quick hug, noting the tension in her stiff frame. He kissed her cheek again. ‘I thought I’d take Aaron down the road for a pint. It’ll get us out from under your feet for a bit.’
He didn’t miss the flicker of relief in eyes. ‘That’ll be nice. I don’t suppose you’ll get much time together now he’s settling down with Kiki.’ There was a hint of a question in her tone, and he wondered whether she knew he hadn’t been back to Butterfly Cove since Mia and Daniel’s wedding. The work to convert the garages into the teashop had been straightforward enough that no one had questioned his absence. Daniel had called him a couple of times to clarify a point with the designs he’d drawn up, and Aaron had brought an album full of photos from the grand opening last weekend.
‘Things are really picking up at work, and now the last of the conversion works are finished, there’s no need for me to visit Butterfly Cove so often.’ He forced a laugh. ‘Besides, although it’s lovely down there in the summer, I’m not sure I fancy staying somewhere so exposed to the elements now the weather’s on the change.’
Cathy reached for a tea towel and dried her hands before turning to face him. ‘It sounds lovely, from what Aaron
