He looked back, but his gaze didn’t meet hers. ‘Look, the company were generous enough to pay for us both, but their policy doesn’t cover business travel for family members. I didn’t think it was worth wasting money from our savings on an upgrade for you. It’s a big day for me tomorrow. I’ll be working for most of the flight so I need to be able to focus on that. Besides, economy on these big planes isn’t exactly a hardship and I thought you’d understand…’ His voice trailed off, the tone a perfect blend of confusion and disappointment.
He’d thought she’d understand. Which was why he’d deliberately avoided discussing it with her until now. How very like him to put off anything that might involve a difficult conversation. He’d clearly practised his list of excuses and settled on her being a distraction. Like she was some five-year-old child incapable of sitting still for a few hours. It was a bloody night flight, for God’s sake, and she’d intended to spend it catching up on a few movies she hadn’t seen, and sleeping.
Staring up at him, Eliza wondered, not for the first time, who the hell he was. This was supposed to be a new start for them, the next step in their life together; it wasn’t unreasonable of her to expect they’d be taking it side by side. The twisting tension inside her made her snap at him. ‘And what happens after check in, I suppose you’re going to use the business class lounge rather than sit with me and the rest of the plebs in the departures area?’
He folded his arms, the corners of his eyes narrowing the way they did when he got angry. Martin wasn’t a great one for losing his temper, but she knew the look. If avoidance and cajoling wouldn’t work to talk her around, he used it as a last resort. If he thought he could intimidate her into backing down though, he was in for a shock. ‘What is it about this that is so difficult for you to understand? When we get to Abu Dhabi tomorrow, I have to work. You can go to the hotel and sleep, or laze by the pool, or whatever the hell you want to do with yourself. Why are you making this difficult?’ Oh God, that tone in his voice! It took all her self-control not to slap him for it.
Conscious they were blocking the entrance to the check in lanes, Eliza towed her cases a few feet away, then waited for Martin to join her. He rolled his eyes again, and her fists clenched over the handles as the swirl in her belly turned into a vortex that threatened to suck the life out of her. ‘I thought we were in this together,’ she said, pitching her voice low. ‘You knew about my reservations about leaving my family and friends so far behind, about having nothing to do but stay at home and keep house for you. We talked about this and yet now you’re treating me as some kind of hanger-on. This is supposed to be you and me, and baby makes three, remember? The Wilkinsons vs the World.’
Martin shoved a hand through his hair. ‘You can do whatever you want for the next three years. I’m making enough money to set us up for life. Most women would jump at the chance to do nothing but “keep house”. It’s not exactly an onerous task, is it? You’ll be free to spend time on your projects. Christ, we don’t even have to have a kid if you don’t want one, I just thought it would make you happy.’
His words struck her like a blow. All those hours spent talking about this move, when she’d thought they were finally making a proper connection again, and he’d been humouring her? ‘Make me happy? Nothing about this makes me happy, Martin, but you went ahead and did it anyway! Applied for the job without telling me, then accepted it before we’d finished discussing the pros and cons.’
Another flash of understanding sent her reeling. ‘Do you even want to have a baby?’ She’d had her own doubts, not about having children—she’d always dreamed of a brood of chubby little babies growing into gorgeous, happy children surrounded by the same love she’d always known growing up—but about the timing of it all.
He shrugged. ‘I’m not bothered either way. I just thought it made sense given how much time you’ll have on your hands.’
Like bringing a child into the world was on a par with one of her ‘little projects’. ‘We’re talking about creating a new life together, not knitting a bloody jumper!’ She was shouting now, but it was that or start crying.
The vortex shifted into a hurricane, and it was all she could do to cling on as her reality shredded into a thousand tiny fragments and blew away. ‘Who are you?’
Martin tutted loudly. ‘Lower your voice, for God’s sake and don’t be such a drama queen. I’m your bloody husband, that’s who I am. We can talk about this later. Let’s just get checked in, okay?’
No. It wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay, and it hadn’t been for a long time.
Eliza took a step backwards. ‘I’m not doing this.’
‘Not doing what?’ Even now, he didn’t get it. He wasn’t her husband. He was nothing like the shy, idealistic boy she’d fallen in love with. And she was nothing like the naïve girl he’d sworn to love forever. They’d been children, playing at love. Things might have been different if they’d found some common ground along the way, a fertile plot to plant the seeds of that first love so it could flourish and grow. They’d grown up, but not together, and all that bound them were words they’d said without understanding the importance behind them. ‘I’m not going with you.’
Furious now, if the muscle twitching in his jaw was anything to go by, he snatched for her arm. When she twisted to evade his grip, he circled around until she was trapped between his body and their luggage. ‘Don’t be so bloody stupid. You’re going to stop this nonsense, right now. Get your bags and come on.’
Her hands shook at the harshness in his voice, but she knotted them in the folds of her skirt, refusing to back down. ‘I’ll go with you, on one condition. Tell me why you love me.’
‘Christ, Eliza. I don’t have time for these games. I love you because you’re my wife.’ He glanced away, and she could see his chest rise and fall as he sucked in a deep breath. When he looked back at her, the anger appeared to have gone, but where? No one could switch moods that quickly, so why was he trying to hide it from her? She was derailing his well-laid plans and he had every right to be mad at her. And what else had he been hiding? How much more resentment had he swallowed down hoping for an easy life? Probably as much, if not more, than she had.
Feeling like she didn’t know him at all, Eliza raised her hands in a placatory gesture as she edge out from where he’d crowded her against their bags. ‘That’s not enough, don’t you see? And it shouldn’t be enough for you, either.’
Martin put his hands on his hips. The muscle in his jaw had started twitching again, but his voice carried that same weary, patronising tone. ‘Couples have their ups and downs. Life can’t be all hearts and flowers.’
‘Trotting out a couple of trite old sayings isn’t going to fix this.’ With every second that passed, the certainty grew within her—it was over between them.
His eyes narrowed. ‘Just what do you expect me to do about it then?’
Eliza shook her head. ‘Nothing. This is a good opportunity for you, you should make the most of it. It’s not good for me, though, and I hope in time you’ll come to see that. You’ll be so busy getting to grips with everything, you won’t even notice I’m not there.’
‘This is ridiculous.’ He reached for her again, and she tucked her arm behind her back away from him. ‘The bloody house is leased out; they’re moving in next week! Where the hell will you go?’
That he even needed to ask told her how little he knew and understood her. The fact she hadn’t even considered returning to the little starter home they’d shared for the past five
