clear and direct in all of our dealings.’
‘Yes, we can be clear and direct in completely refuting these allegations.’ Hugo’s brow was still dark.
‘Of course, Hugo. But if you’d read the whole piece, you’d see that there’s a reference at the end to a romantic entanglement between the two of you. If Nell’s real relationship with you were known, then it might well defuse the situation.’
Nell shook her head. ‘I’m sorry but...no. I’m Hugo’s doctor, and it’s my responsibility to make sure that if he wants to keep the details of his medical condition private, that’s what happens. I can’t allow it.’
‘Nell, that’s up to me.’
If Hugo was about to make an abrupt about-turn on the question of his own privacy, Nell wasn’t. ‘You’ve already expressed your wishes, Hugo, and while I don’t altogether agree with them, it’s my duty to uphold them. I won’t have it.’
‘But—’
‘There’s always the Royal Agreement,’ Queen Margaux cut her son short.
‘That doesn’t apply here, Mother.’
‘It might. Since the papers seem already to be jumping to conclusions...’ Queen Margaux reached for the folder, taking off her reading glasses. ‘I’ll leave you both to consider the options. But in the meantime, Nell, I want you to understand that you have my full support in this. We will do whatever it takes.’
Nell stammered her thanks, and Hugo rose to see his mother out. While they were gone, Nell concentrated on keeping breathing. Because it appeared that was about the only thing that Martin could never take away from her.
‘I HAVE TO EXPLAIN.’ Hugo had returned to the sitting room and was regarding her silently.
‘No, you don’t. I don’t make a habit of explaining what the papers say about me...’ He broke off, seeing the tears that ran down Nell’s cheeks.
‘I do...really.’
Hugo came to sit next to her on the sofa. ‘If you want to tell me something about this, then I’ll listen. All you need to say is that you want this stopped.’
‘It’s good of you to say that. I want to tell you.’
‘Okay.’ He was sitting close, but still not touching her. The temptation to ask for Hugo’s comfort was almost too much to bear, but Nell couldn’t do that. Not until he knew all the facts, and he believed her.
‘When I was a student, Martin was a visiting lecturer. He was brilliant, he has a very fine mind.’
‘Okay. I’ll take your word for that.’ Hugo didn’t look very convinced.
‘I went to speak to him after the lecture and he asked me for coffee. One thing led to another...’ She glanced at Hugo and he nodded. ‘I was dazzled. He was older than me, of course, and very handsome. He knew about loads of things that I didn’t. Introduced me to a lot of new experiences.’
She expected Hugo to nod and understand. Instead, he rolled his eyes. ‘I’ve seen that type. No feeling of self-worth, so he has to pick on someone in a subordinate position to impress.’
His words chipped away at the dream. The feeling that Martin had been all-knowing and that it was she who’d done the wrong thing. She had done the wrong thing, and maybe Hugo would think a little differently when she told him.
‘He was based in Newcastle, and he came down to London every couple of weeks. I saw him then and I used to count the days...’ Nell shook her head at her own stupidity. ‘It went on for six months and then he told me that he was married. He said it didn’t matter, that he and his wife had some kind of understanding, but I broke it off immediately.’
Nell looked into Hugo’s face, wondering if he could understand. ‘I thought he loved me. And even though I loved him, I couldn’t do it.’
‘Sounds as if you were the one who was the adult in that relationship.’
He thought so? Nell had always considered herself as the silly little girl, blinded by love. Slowly Martin was developing feet of clay.
‘I don’t know about that. But I stuck to it, even though he contacted me a few times afterwards. Finally he left me alone, and I reckoned that it was just a life lesson and I should chalk it up to experience. I graduated, and got a job at the hospital and things were going well. Then the head of department retired, and...’ Nell felt herself start to shake. That feeling, that she couldn’t escape and that her mistakes would always come back to bite her, had turned out to be about the only true thing in this whole business.
‘And when the new head of department showed up, it was him?’ Hugo was filling in the gaps now. ‘Any reasonable man would have spoken to you privately, admitted that he’d acted very badly and hoped that you might find the goodness of heart to draw a line under the whole business. I’m guessing he didn’t do that.’
Nell shook her head, finding herself smiling grimly. ‘No, he didn’t. There were a couple of weeks of extreme awkwardness, and then I couldn’t bear it any longer. I spoke to him and apologised...’
‘You apologised?’
‘It seemed reasonable. I had been one very willing half of the affair.’
Hugo let out a short, sharp breath. ‘Are you saying it was all your fault?’
‘No, I...’ In truth, after the last six months, Nell had been reduced to not knowing what was and wasn’t her fault.
‘We talked a bit and I thought we’d come to an understanding, but the following day he said he wanted to talk a bit more and could he meet me for coffee that evening.’
Nell still didn’t understand how she could have been so stupid. But when she looked at Hugo, there was no sign of reproach in his face. Perhaps he was just waiting to hear everything before he made a final decision on that.
‘I went, and he started telling me about how his marriage had broken up because his wife had found out about our affair. I don’t know if that was true, but I was horrified. Then he said that the least I could do was give things another try. I said I didn’t think that was a good idea and he offered to take me home. He walked me to my door and then he told me he knew I wanted it really and pushed me inside. Somehow I fought him off...’ The words had tumbled out, and Nell was suddenly breathless with shame.
‘I hope you hurt him.’
‘I... Actually, I had a copy of Welman’s Clinical Procedures in my bag. I managed to get free of him and hit him with it.’
Hugo grinned suddenly. ‘Good girl. The full edition, I hope.’
‘Stop it, it was the abbreviated edition. It still hurt him, though. He made some comment about my obviously not being in the mood tonight and left.’ She was shaking. Not so much as she had that night, but she still couldn’t stop.
‘Did
