intruded behind her and she jumped, startled. “Sorry.”
“Second thoughts?”
She turned to the older lady, seeing understanding on her face. “It’s just…so close, you know?”
“You’ll do fine. You’ve got backbone. You know what’s right.”
“But is this right?” she implored Johanna with her hands outstretched. “Is this fair to Connor? A temporary wife carrying someone else’s baby? I got so wrapped up in the fun of planning tomorrow that I forgot what it’s supposed to be about…and what it’s really about.”
Johanna’s eyes softened, a glimmer of a smile tipping the corners of her mouth. “Oh, my dear,” she murmured, putting a hand on Alex’s hair. “Don’t sell yourself short.”
Alex swallowed. “But Connor…”
“Is upstairs in the shower, and hungry to boot. I’m off to Millie’s to look after some last-minute arrangements.”
So she and Connor would have time alone after all. Alex didn’t know whether to be grateful or petrified.
When Connor came downstairs, Alex had fixed him a plate. He was clean-shaven, his hair brushed back and glistening with water from his shower. She recognized the fresh smell of his deodorant and the slightly spicy scent of his shampoo, and her stomach clenched.
“I’ll get your chicken off the grill,” she explained, hurrying outside to the barbeque to retrieve his chicken breast. He sat down quietly as she placed the plate before him, heaped with mixed greens, chicken, and macaroni salad.
“Gram made this before she left?” he asked, putting some of the salad in his mouth.
“No, I did.”
His eyes met hers, and she sensed warmth in them for the first time in the past forty-eight hours.
“It tastes like hers. Exactly.”
Alex smiled. “Well, I did tell you I was a good student.”
“Aren’t you eating?” He gestured to the place across from him with his fork.
“I ate earlier.”
“I see.”
Alex made herself busy around the kitchen while Connor finished his meal, and then, clearing his plate, she took a breath. She had to be a grownup and do this. And do it now before she lost her nerve.
“I think we should talk.”
He stilled, wary, and Alex’s nerves twisted and turned as everything she’d planned to say went rushing out of her head completely.
“Talk about what?”
She put his dishes in the dishwasher, keeping her back towards him. Coward, she grumbled to herself. She had to do this. She was an adult. Difficult conversations had to be faced.
“About us. About what’s going to happen tomorrow.”
“I see.”
She turned, facing him, but his expression was flat and completely closed off, and she wasn’t sure how to proceed. “Please, Connor. I can’t pretend that tomorrow is what it will look like.”
“I can’t either.”
His words left her feeling strangely empty. She shouldn’t want him to mean his vows, but somehow she did. It was wrong, and misguided, but she would admit only to herself that she had feelings for Connor. Deep feelings. Feelings he surely didn’t reciprocate, so she’d do the right thing here.
“Our vows tomorrow…they’re the forever kind.” She sat in the chair next to him, resting her hands in her lap, the backs pressed together between her knees. “We both know that forever isn’t what this is about.” No matter what my traitorous heart is saying right at this moment. “But I think we should make promises. To each other, tonight, about what we can expect over the next several months.”
“You mean temporary vows?”
“Yes,” she breathed with relief, glad he understood what she was getting at.
He sighed, and she resisted the urge to reach up and tuck that errant piece of hair behind his ear, the one that always seemed determined to curl. His eyes searched her face, and she knew that she would never be able to resist him when he looked at her that way.
“This means a lot to you, doesn’t it?”
She nodded. “Tomorrow…we’ll just be making empty promises. I’m not comfortable with that. Because there are things I want to promise you. Truly.”
Trembling, she reached out and took his workworn hand in hers. “I promise you, Connor, that for the time we’re married I will do all I can to make your life easier, not harder. I’ll try my best to look after the beautiful home you’ve entrusted me with, and—” she smiled faintly “—I’ll try not to poison you with my bad cooking. I’ll be a friend to you, and a comfort, if you’ll let me. I’ll help you in any way I can. You’ve only to ask. Those are the promises I can make to you.”
Oh, his eyes. So warm, with compassion and understanding and with an edge of something she didn’t quite comprehend. He covered her hand with his own and squeezed. “I have promises to make to you, too,” he said softly. “Look at me, Alex,” he commanded, when she dropped her eyes.
She met his gaze and was caught, unable to look away.
“I promise, Alex, to provide for you, and the baby you’re carrying, for as long as you need. I promise to share my home with you, so that it’s your home too, because you’ve been without one for so long. I promise that I won’t be the one to hurt you, not when you’ve been hurt already. I will be your friend and your comfort, if you’ll let me.” His voice dropped, an intimate whisper as he repeated her own words back to her. “I’ll help you in any way I can. You’ve only to ask. Those are the promises I can make to you.”
Her eyes filled, shining with unshed tears at his words. He meant them. She knew it. And for her they were more romantic than any flowery vows from a book could ever be. Somehow this handsome man—still so much a stranger— knew exactly what she needed and was willing to give it to her, wholeheartedly, unreservedly.
In that shining moment she knew another truth that would make tomorrow even harder.
She was falling in love with Connor Madsen.
“Alex? Are you OK?”
Her eyes had closed against the brief shaft of bittersweet pain that pierced her as she realized the one man she couldn’t have was the one she was falling head over heels in love with. Swallowing, she pushed back her chair and broke their hand clasp. “I’m fine. I’m just tired,” she explained, avoiding the skeptical look that raised his eyebrows with doubt. “I think I’ll get ready for bed. There’s a lot to do tomorrow.”
She avoided looking at him, knowing her abrupt change of mood had to be confusing.
“Mike’s looking after the chores tomorrow. There’s no
