He’d even been willing to talk about sex with her, although she wasn’t going to share that with her friends.
“Uh-oh,” Rachel said, glancing at Crissy. “I didn’t see this coming.”
“It was always a possibility,” Crissy told her. “Close proximity, a shared interest, being part of an exciting event. There’s a reason birth rates soar after a blackout.”
Noelle stared at her friends. “What are the two of you talking about?”
“You, honey,” Crissy said. “You’ve got it bad.”
“Got what?” Noelle asked, not sure she wanted to know.
“You’re falling for Dev,” Rachel said kindly. “You have all the signs.”
“What? No! I’m not. I just appreciate how great he is.”
“Him being great is how it starts,” Crissy said.
Noelle refused to believe they were right. She liked Dev—under the circumstances, who wouldn’t? But it didn’t mean anything.
“You’re totally wrong,” she said. “But even if you’re not, what’s the big deal? We’re married. Shouldn’t I at least like the guy?”
“Only if he likes you back,” Crissy said. “The two of you made some pretty specific ground rules. If only one of you is willing to break them, then heartache could be right around the corner. I’d hate to see that happen.”
“I won’t get hurt,” Noelle said. “I like the guy, but that’s not the same as falling in love with him.”
“Keep it that way,” Rachel said. “Love is tricky. Now if you’re talking about breaking the no-sex rule, that’s more interesting.”
Noelle hated that she could already feel herself blushing. She cleared her throat. “Speaking of that,” she said, trying to sound casual, “I’ve been thinking about us, you know, maybe…”
Rachel leaned forward. “Doing the wild thing?”
Noelle groaned. “Don’t say that. It’s just, Jimmy and I, well, it was just the one night and it wasn’t very, you know, good.”
“Now I feel about ninety years old,” Crissy said with a sigh. “I can barely remember my first time. Which isn’t important. Look, technically, you’re married. Of course you’re welcome to have sex with your husband. Just be careful. You already like him. If he dazzles you in bed, you won’t have a chance.”
“I don’t believe that,” Noelle said. “It’s just a bodily function.”
“It can be a lot more,” Rachel told her. “It can be an expression of love that touches every part of you. Crissy’s right. Take care of yourself.”
Noelle wasn’t sure she agreed with their advice. “I’m already pregnant. What’s the worst that could happen?”
Chapter Seven
The doctor’s waiting room was bright, with beautiful prints of mothers holding babies and happy toddlers with balloons or kittens. The seats were comfortable, the music, soft and inspiring. Still it took every ounce of willpower for Noelle to stay in the chair and not run screaming into the night. Or in this case, the early afternoon.
“You’re fidgeting,” Dev said as he flipped through a parenting magazine.
“I’m nervous. I can’t believe I’m here. I don’t feel pregnant. I guess the truth hasn’t sunk in. Plus, I’m terrified. I don’t want there to be anything wrong with the baby. But I’m not sure I even really get there is a baby. Still, I want him or her to be healthy and I know millions and millions of women have done this before, so what’s the big deal. It’s like the circle of life in The Lion King, right?”
Dev stared at her. “You’re quoting a cartoon?”
“One works with what one has.”
“I don’t know that I’d go with that, but okay.” He took her hand and gently squeezed her fingers. “I know you’re scared and this is all new. Just remember—you’re not in this alone, and yes, millions of other couples have gone through it, including our parents.”
“I know. When I finally tell my mom, she’ll be full of great advice. She had four babies in six years. Talk about a pro. She…” Noelle glanced at him. “You never talk about your parents.”
“There’s not that much to say,” he told her. “My mom died when I was sixteen. A previously undiagnosed heart condition. What she had isn’t genetic—it was just one of those things.” He hesitated. “My dad had never been the responsible parent. He lasted about six weeks after her death, then took off. I never knew why, but now, looking back, I think it was guilt.”
“About what?”
“How he treated her. She loved him more than I’d ever seen anyone love another person. She lived for him. She was great to Jimmy and me, but he had her heart. Everything changed the second he came home. Her smile was bright, her laughter easier. But he stayed gone a lot and when he wasn’t there, she moved around like a shadow or a ghost. They used to fight about that—about him staying away so much. He wasn’t one to take responsibility. He spent a lot of time hanging out with his friends and other people.”
Other people? “You think he had affairs?”
Dev shrugged. “Maybe. I saw him with someone once, but he said she was the wife of a friend and he was helping her shop for her husband. I was never sure I believed him. After my mother died, I told him I’d never forgive him for killing her.”
Noelle frowned. “You said it was a problem with her heart.”
“It was, but I think she was happy to go because she’d lived her whole life loving someone who wouldn’t love her back. Then he left—abandoned his family.”
Dev was the most logical, practical person she knew. For him to say his mother, in essence, died of a broken heart, shocked her.
Equally difficult for her was the fact that he’d lost both parents within a few weeks of each other. Whatever problems his father might have had, how could he have abandoned his two sons?
“My grandfather moved right into the house,” Dev said. “He was pushing seventy, but that didn’t stop him from doing all the things our dad had never done—like playing ball and coming to school games and stuff. He always had time for me.”
“He loved you,” she said, seeing the truth in Dev’s eyes.
“He was a good man.”
Just like Dev, she thought, knowing she didn’t ever have to worry about him walking out on her child. He was going to be there for both of them, no matter what.
When Dev had been twelve, he’d fallen out of a tree and had broken his arm so badly that part of the bone had stuck through the skin. There’d been enough blood to float a ship and, despite the pain, he hadn’t felt the least bit woozy. But when he and Noelle
