was impossible. She longed only to crawl away into some dark, forgotten corner, and deal with her grief all over again. Something she’d believed she would not have to do.
Her father was speaking again. ‘Things are going to be changing, Darcy. Changing rapidly for all of us, and maybe it’s time you and I talked seriously about the future.’
She steadied herself, kept her voice even. ‘I’d like that. But not now, please. Not tonight. I’m a bit whacked.’
‘You’ve not recovered from burning the candle at both ends on that damned boat, I suppose,’ he said gruffly, then relented. ‘Off with you, then, my child.’
He walked across to her and dropped a kiss on the top of her head. ‘I was proud of you tonight,’ he said. ‘I want to go on feeling like that.’
She gave him half a smile, and fled.
Safely in her room, she threw herself face downward across the bed and stayed there. How could one short evening bring so many disasters? she asked herself in agonised disbelief. And what the hell could she do to prevent any more occurring? It seemed to her that she was trapped between the devil and the deep blue sea.
If she stayed in London, it would be difficult to avoid Werner Langton’s new managing director completely, as she needed to do. Particularly as her father seemed determined to be involved with him socially as well.
Whereas if she went down to Kings Whitnall, sooner or later Harry would turn up, with his wife. His pregnant wife.
Was that why she’d received that oblique warning from Joel Castille? Could he really think she still cherished memories of Harry? Well, he seemed to have swallowed all Harry’s half-truths, lies and evasions, so he probably did.
She shuddered and sat up, pushing her dishevelled hair back from her face. Across the room, her mirror reflected a white-faced, wild-eyed creature she barely recognised.
She pulled off her dress, and tossed it aside with loathing as she walked to the bathroom. No more black ever, she swore to herself, recoiling at the memory of Joel Castille’s gaze making its lingering way down her body.
Tomorrow she would go back to the agency she used and find another job as an au pair. Lisbon, maybe, or Vienna, she thought. Or even—Australia.
It wasn’t at all what she’d hoped for, of course.
She cleaned off her make-up, and stepped under the shower, welcoming the sting of the water on her overheated skin.
But maybe it was time to stop dreaming about careers she would never have, and face up to reality.
And the truth was, she needed to get as far away as possible, and as soon as possible. So, she would have to settle for whatever was available.
She dried herself, slipped into a nightdress and went back into the bedroom. She felt stifled suddenly, so she went over to open the window. It had begun to rain, she realised, and the glass panes were running with water, but she undid the catch anyway and pushed the frame a few inches ajar, allowing a draught of cold, dank city air to penetrate the room.
She climbed into bed, pulling the covers up around her shoulders with a faint shiver.
Traffic noise in London had never bothered her particularly, and their square was quiet enough. And when the distant rumble of cars and buses was conjoined with the splash of the rain, it was almost soporific.
She hadn’t expected to sleep, yet she did, only to find herself dreaming endlessly of rain-washed pavements and a flight of steps leading to a door that would not open to her, however hard she knocked for admittance. And she woke in the grey dawn light with tears on her face.
Darcy pulled off her black blazer, and tossed it over the back of the sofa with her bag, before sinking down onto the cushions and kicking off her shoes. She rested for a moment, flexing her aching toes with a slight grimace. She must have walked miles, she thought, and what had she achieved? Practically zilch.
The au pair market was crowded by eager and cheaper applicants from Eastern Europe. The only post immediately available was one she’d actually taken a year ago with an American couple living in Paris, who believed their three hyperactive children should grow up with total freedom from discipline and who had since, Darcy heard with horror, been blessed with a fourth hostage to liberty. No one, the agency had frankly confessed, would stay for longer than a week. A situation that Darcy totally understood.
She had tried other agencies, and even job centres, but without success.
‘I really want to work abroad,’ she’d said wearily as she was offered yet another computer training course.
The girl behind the desk had given her an old-fashioned look. ‘Don’t we all?’ she’d responded crisply.
Which wasn’t a great deal of help.
She hoped Aunt Freddie had met with better luck in whatever business had brought her to the city. She’d been almost mysterious about it at breakfast, declining Darcy’s offer to meet her for lunch with the excuse that she wasn’t sure of her plans.
So what was that all about? Darcy wondered.
Her reverie was interrupted by the quiet voice of their housekeeper, Mrs Inman. ‘I thought I heard you come in, Miss Langton. I wondered if you’d take a quick look at the dining room, and approve the table settings before you go up to change.’
Darcy glanced down at her white silk blouse, and corded damson skirt. Quite good enough for a simple family supper, she decided. Mrs Inman was a treasure, but not over-confident about her abilities, and inclined to fuss a little over non-essentials.
She said gently, ‘There’s only the three of us, Mrs Inman, and I’m sure everything looks lovely.’
‘Well, if you’re quite certain. Only your father seemed to think…’ The other woman’s voice tailed off as she gave a swift, nervous smile and left the room.
Darcy curled up, unfastening the button at the neck of her blouse, plus a couple more for good measure, and tucking her stockinged feet under her. It had been a pretty dispiriting day, she mused, leaning back and closing her eyes, but maybe things would be better tomorrow. They certainly couldn’t get any worse.
Her mind was beginning to drift, and she was almost sinking into a tired doze, when she suddenly heard the sound of the door bell. She sat up, surprised, glancing at her watch, wondering who on earth could be calling at this hour. Unless, of course, Aunt Freddie had forgotten her key again. It had been known.
As the drawing-room door opened she turned her head casually, ready to make some teasing comment, and froze as she saw Joel Castille walk into the room.
He paused, his brows lifting sardonically as he registered her horrified expression. ‘Good evening.’ His voice was silky, but the note of faint amusement was unmistakable.
Darcy shot upright, her feet frantically scrabbling for her discarded shoes. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ she demanded hoarsely.
He had the audacity to smile. ‘Don’t look now, sweetheart,’ he drawled. ‘But I think you’ve just blown your perfect-hostess image. Didn’t you know that your father had invited me to dinner?’
‘No,’
