me a letter explaining everything—’
‘Marsha, what do you want me to say?’ Susan had set her cup down and now her face was tight as she raised her head again. ‘You made the decision to leave him at the time and I don’t see what’s changed.’
Marsha returned her gaze for a long moment, then sank back against the sofa, putting a hand to her forehead. She had been clutching at straws; she saw that now. Susan was trying to be kind by not rubbing it in, but it was clear the other woman had no doubts about Taylor’s infidelity. ‘I… I want to believe him, I suppose,’ she said throatily, tears welling up despite all her efforts to control herself.
‘Oh, I’m sorry, Marsha, really.’ Suddenly Susan was beside her, hugging her. ‘But you’ve just told me what a great life you’ve made for yourself without him. You’ll be all right. You will. You’re so brainy and beautiful and… and nice.’
As her sister-in-law’s voice broke and Susan began to cry with her, Marsha knew she had to get her equilibrium back. She should never have come here today. It could serve no useful purpose—simply opening the old wound until it was raw and bleeding.
She drew back a little from Susan with as much aplomb as she could muster, her voice still husky with tears as she said, ‘It’s me that’s sorry, Sue. I’ve come here and upset you, and after all you did for me. It must have been hard, loving Taylor as you do, to tell me about Tanya and everything. Look, I ought to go.’
‘No, no, don’t.’ Susan sounded almost desperate. ‘Stay for a bit, please. Here, have some more coffee; you’ll feel better.’
She couldn’t feel any worse. Marsha dredged up a smile from somewhere as she nodded.
‘I have missed you, Marsha, so much. I mean it.’ Susan pushed back her hair from her damp face.
‘Not with your busy social life, surely?’ Marsha attempted to bring things back to normal, her voice brighter. Susan and Dale lived in a social whirl that would have made her giddy. She and Taylor had liked to go out quite often, dancing the night away at nightclubs, having and going to dinner parties or to the theatre, but they had also enjoyed quiet romantic dinners at home together, or weekends when they saw no one. Susan and Dale, on the other hand, rarely had an evening at home, and when they did it was usually because they were throwing a dinner party.
Susan shrugged now. ‘Quantity of friends doesn’t necessarily mean the quality is right,’ she said, so bitterly that Marsha was shocked out of her own misery.
‘Is anything wrong?’ She placed a hand on Susan’s arm.
‘Lots. But then no one’s life is perfect, is it?’ Susan’s smile was brittle now, and she made a show of pouring two more cups of coffee, removing herself back to her own seat as she did so.
The conversation was a little stilted from that point on, with Marsha telling Susan more about the TV company and the way things worked, and Susan responding by talking about the latest drama or film she’d seen.
It was as Marsha stood up to go that Taylor’s sister reached out her hands again, taking Marsha’s in her own as she said, ‘You haven’t told Taylor it was me? I mean, you haven’t let anything slip that might give him an idea? He’s so…’
As her voice faded away, Marsha acknowledged that she knew what Susan was trying to say. Her smile was crooked as she shook the other woman’s hands gently. ‘Of course I haven’t. I gave you my word, but I wouldn’t do that to you anyway,’ she reassured her softly. ‘We’re friends, aren’t we? More than friends—family.’ For a little while longer, at least, until the divorce was finalised.
Susan’s eyes flickered and then filled with tears, and for the umpteenth time since Marsha had come to the house the other woman surprised her by hugging her tight. Susan had never been physically demonstrative in all the time Marsha had known her, not even with Dale. The only person she had ever seen Susan hug of her own volition was Taylor, and even then it would be brief.
Marsha frowned over the other woman’s head. There was definitely something wrong, and it was serious; she could sense it. She tried one last time. ‘Sue, are you feeling all right? You don’t seem yourself.’
Susan drew back immediately, brushing her face with the back of her hand. ‘Thanks, but I’m fine,’ she said, smiling now. ‘It’s just so nice to see you, that’s all.’
She couldn’t force a confidence if Susan didn’t want to discuss it. Marsha smiled back, bringing a teasing note to her voice when she said, ‘You just miss those shopping trips you used to drag me on, that’s all.’
‘We had fun, didn’t we?’ Susan said wistfully.
‘Lots of it.’ For the first time Marsha noticed that Susan’s slimness bordered on the extreme. Taylor’s sister had always been a fitness addict, spending hours at a local gym she belonged to, but now she appeared positively scrawny.
Marsha had phoned for a taxi some minutes earlier, and when the two women opened the front door it was just pulling up outside. ‘Good timing.’ Marsha smiled at her sister-in-law, determined to leave on a brighter note. ‘It was good to see you again. Take care of yourself, won’t you?’
Susan nodded. ‘You too. I wish you would let me drive you back.’
‘No need.’ To be truthful, she needed to be by herself. ‘And if I talk to Taylor I won’t mention I called today. Okay?’
Susan nodded. ‘Goodbye, Marsha.’
She had just sat down in the taxi and was leaning forward to shut the door when Susan was at her elbow again. ‘Could we meet occasionally?’ she asked, with the urgency Marsha had noticed once or twice before. ‘Have lunch, that sort of thing?’
Marsha didn’t know what to say. This meeting had torn her heart out by its roots all over again, but it was clear that their relationship was important to Susan.
The only way she had been able to cope when she had first left Taylor was to cut herself off from her old life completely, and she was feeling like that once more. The pain was raw, but if Susan needed her…
She reached out her hand and took Susan’s cool fingers in hers. ‘In a little while, okay?’ she said quietly. ‘I need to make Taylor understand we can never get together again, that it is really over once and for all. Once the divorce is through I’ll feel… easier about everything. But we will meet then, if that’s what you want.’
She had tried to prevent it, but her eyes had filled up again as she spoke, and now Susan’s face was distraught as she murmured, ‘I shouldn’t have asked.’
‘Of course you should.’ Marsha squeezed the other woman’s hand one last time before settling back into the taxi. ‘We’re friends, and friends are always there for each other, whatever’s happened.’
Susan shut the taxi door without saying anything more. As the vehicle drew away Marsha waved, but the other woman barely responded, although just as they turned the corner out of sight Taylor’s sister was still standing at the bottom of the drive, staring after the car.
Marsha shut her eyes, letting out her breath in a deep sigh. So much for hope. She had been stupid to think Susan would say anything other than what she had eighteen months before. She didn’t know why she had come now. As she’d told Nicki, Susan was
