The sadness in her tone told Matt he wasn’t just in deep water, but in a stormy sea without a life preserver…and he realised how much he’d hurt her by his silence, not just now but for the past few months. By waiting for the right moment, instead of telling her the things she deserved to know, he’d hurt the woman he loved more than life or breath.
While he tried to prevent the shock from slowing his system, her next question broad¬ sided him. “Jemima said there are rumours that Elise Pettifer helped you with the water converter. Are they true?”
Like a final premonition of disaster, the name echoed around and around in his head. “Elise?” Damn, oh, damn…
“Yes, she told me that you dated her, too, if that’s what’s making you look so worried.” Julie bit her lip. “Jemima said you dated her for almost a year. She’s really nice, Matt. Well- bred, beautiful, and she’s a fellow engineer to boot. Everyone was so shocked when you apparently ditched her for someone like me. They were waiting for the wedding date to be announced.” Her eyes darkened with an emotion he didn’t dare name. “So how long has she been working with you on the water converter?”
Matt broke out in a cold sweat. Dear God, she knew about his past with Elise, that he’d been working with her on a secret project, and he hadn’t been the one to tell her about it. “My relationship with Elise was nothing like me and you,” he said tightly. “We—damn it, it was a convenient thing. Neither of us had anyone and our parents kept throwing us together. We drifted into dating, but there was nothing there, Jules. We both agreed that if we met someone else, we’d part friends. And that’s what happened.”
“And she hasn’t met anyone since you broke up with her—a beautiful, intelligent and lovely woman like Elise?” From gentle and trusting, Julie’s voice had become brittle, and he knew he was in deep trouble.
Matt sighed. Given the way she adored him, Julie would never believe Elise didn’t love him the way she did—and worse still, given her past with cheating men, she’d have a hard time believing that he’d fallen for her while dating Elise; but he couldn’t let that affect him. It was time to tell her the truth.
“Elise is an old friend, and an excellent engineer. When I couldn’t get my head around a major part of the job, I did ask her opinion, and she came up with a way to make it work. From there, it just—well, it all fell into place, really. We work well together but that’s all.”
“I understand,” was all she said at first—but the pain in her voice gave him no relief, only a sinking feeling. “Were you really dating her when I kissed you that first day?” she asked, so softly he had to strain to hear her.
The spear of guilt hit him again. He wheeled away, trying to justify what was, to him, unjustifiable. “I went straight to her and told her I’d met you. We parted amicably, Jules. It was never serious between us.” Could he explain that he’d never even taken Elise to bed because it felt almost like she was a sister, a cousin? He’d known her since before kindergarten; their mothers were like sisters. It just hadn’t been there for him the way it was with Jules.
“Is she part of the contracts that will put McLachlan’s on a worldwide map? Has she worked with you on the motoring deal?”
Palpitations, cold sweat, clenching stomach—he hadn’t known extreme fear mimicked the symptoms of a heart attack until now. “Sweetheart…” He turned back to face her, knowing he might as well tell her the rest, and trust in her love to get them through. “She’s an old and trusted friend, and she put thousands of dollars into the prototype that I didn’t have at the time. You know how far McLachlan’s had crashed. I could barely afford to pay my workers for three months. She deserved the partnership, so I got a contract made up. She owns forty percent.”
“And your workers own how much?” she whispered. “Ms. Whittaker also told me your workers knew about your invention, and the deals, and have shares. It appears I’m the only one without any share in it at all.” She wrapped her arms around her waist and seemed to shrink inside herself.
Dear God. Matt’s stomach churned. Could this get any worse?
“Who else knows about you and Elise?” she said softly, her voice filled with a world of pain. “Who else knows about the contracts? How much time were you spending with her when you weren’t with me?”
From a faded flower, she’d become like a kicked puppy—a woman thinking she was scorned. Oh, God help him, what to say? How to make this right? “Julie, I’ve done nothing to earn this level of distrust from you. Okay, so I’ve spent some time with Elise over the past few months,” he admitted, thinking of the days and nights in Elise’s company, “but it was purely business.” His chin kicked up. “I don’t want her, Jules, and she doesn’t want me—not anymore.”
“Any more?” she pounced on his words. “I thought you said it was only ever friendship.”
He resisted the impulse to close his eyes. “Look, I don’t know why, but I couldn’t feel anything deeper for her—and if she had feelings for me for a little while, friendship is all we feel now. When I told her about you, she was happy for me, for us. We decided we would always have been better as friends. I haven’t touched her from that day—except a hug or two of jubilation when the water converter worked.”
She whitened further, and he could have shoved a gym bag full of dirty socks in his stupid mouth for saying that. Hadn’t he learned the lesson yet? Never give away too much, son. Women only want to know enough to make them happy.
He reached for her. “I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation. Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for us—for our future.”
She moved away, shaking her head. “Future?” she whispered. “A future of what, Matt? More secrets? More months and years in which you do these amazing things, and your mother, your ex and your workers share your life and I know nothing about it?”
Anger began to surge through him. “Tonight was our engagement party. I did all this for you. What else do I have to do to prove you’re the only one for me? You must know that by now.”
She moved out of his touch and spoke so softly he could barely hear her. “It seems there’s a lot I don’t know.”
Matt turned her around and looked into her eyes. “Maybe I made a mistake in waiting until tonight to tell you everything at once—but we’re getting married, Jules. You either trust me by now or you don’t.”
She just looked at him with deep, unblinking eyes, but he could see she wasn’t truly with him. She’d slipped into the past, remembering another man, an unfaithful man who’d said the same thing.
He didn’t have a chance in hell, unless he took control right now.
Taking her hands in his, he looked into her eyes and said, with what he hoped was quiet strength, “Sit down and listen to me, Jules, and I’ll tell you everything. I was going to tell you tonight, anyway. I’d planned it all.”
“You mean there’s more?” she whispered, sounding horrified. “Not…not now, Matt. No more now…”
One look at her white face and dilated eyes
