falling on his lips, full and enticing, only inches away. Absently she pulled her bottom lip inside her mouth, moistening it with her tongue. In the dim light she saw his face harden, the muscles of his jaw working overtime. In spite of his anger, she craved to know what his kiss would feel like. Twelve long years ago when she’d jumped into his arms and kissed him goodbye, she’d just been a kid. Her action had taken him by surprise and he had immediately set her away from him as shock and aggravation covered his face. But she’d held on to the memory even though it hadn’t been enough. Not nearly enough. It only provided a childish dream she’d carried in her pocket all this time. Now he lowered his head, his mouth coming closer while at the same time she felt the solid ridge of pure adult male begin to throb.
* * *
“Goddammit, Holly.”
With an abrupt move, he rolled off her and onto his feet. Disgust at himself for almost kissing her waged war with the frustration that he hadn’t. It wouldn’t have stopped after a few kisses. She was too damn enticing and it had been too long since he’d felt the pleasures of a woman. Damn. Gritting his teeth, Chance strove for control. Holly was more than just another available female. He would not take her like this, even if she asked. Not in a barn. Not in a bed. Not anywhere for any reason. He sucked in a deep breath and held out a hand to help her up.
She scrambled to her feet without acknowledging him then sent a glare in his direction. He probably should apologize, but he had a tough time saying he was sorry for something he didn’t regret. She appeared decidedly uncomfortable, looking in any direction but at him. She’d offered herself and he’d rejected her. But dammit, didn’t she understand? She wasn’t a one-nighter, a onetime roll between the sheets. She was so much more than that.
“Use a small bit of common sense.”
“You sure do wake up grumpy.”
Grumpy? He’d call what had almost happened a lot of things. Grumpy wasn’t one of them. He dropped his head and let out a sigh. Rubbing the back of his neck, he contemplated how to explain why he appeared grumpy.
“Holly, I spend most of my time, night and day, in areas of the world—in situations—where the only way you stay alive is by use of a sixth sense. It’s awareness. And you can never turn it off. If someone sneaks up on you, you have to assume it’s the enemy, and we are trained, if he’s that close, to take him out and ask questions later. If you don’t assume it’s the enemy, in all likelihood you’ll be dead before you figure it out. It’s an automatic reaction.”
“I didn’t know.”
Chance nodded. “Now you do.” He rested his hands on his waist. She hadn’t commented on the fact he’d come perilously close to permanently changing their friendship, and as long as she was feeling insulted, he might as well get it all out. “And there is one other thing I feel the need to mention. I will not have sex with you. We will never have sex. You are a friend. A very special friend. You are also Jason’s little sister.” He drew in a deep breath and blew it out. “I will not touch you in that way. Ever. It would end what we have now and I don’t want to lose that.” If she had so much as raised her head a quarter of an inch, touching those amazing lips to his, they might be having a completely different conversation about now. Or no conversation at all.
“Fine by me,” she huffed right back at him. “What makes you think I would ever want to have sex with you anyway? Of all the unmitigated gall. Your arrogance defies description.”
“Is that right?”
“Yes,” she hissed. “I don’t even find you interesting...in that way.”
“Sweetheart, make no mistake. Our feelings greatly differ in that regard. I want you until it hurts. You are without doubt the most beautiful and the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen in my life. But I will not touch you, even if it kills me. And it very well may. Now, why are you here? What did you need?” He couldn’t keep the frustration out of his voice and no doubt sounded a lot more surly than intended.
She adjusted her stance and the look on her face was somewhere between insulted and incredulous. “What did I need?”
“You woke me up, so you must have a reason.” He barked out his explanation then waited for an answer.
Her arms hugged her body in a protective stance as she glared at him. Silence ensued.
“What?” He enunciated the question. “Has it become a secret all of a sudden?”
She narrowed her eyes in anger. “I was just trying to place who you are. Because you’re sure not my friend Chance.”
He shook his head and huffed a sigh. “Holly...look. I’m sorry, okay?” How long had it been since he’d apologized to anyone?
“I didn’t want anything, Commander Masters. I didn’t expect to be attacked. I didn’t come looking for a good time. And I sure didn’t anticipate a lecture on how not to wake up an ill-tempered, arrogant grump. When did you get so bossy? You used to be nice. Sorry I bothered you.” She spun around and marched toward the exit at the front of barn.
“Holly.”
“Good night,” she snapped without turning around.
Just let it go. You’re asking for trouble if you don’t let her go.
“Holly.” Shit. He ran a hand over his face. “Wait.”
She slowed her steps, finally stopping, but she still didn’t turn around. Her hair fell in gentle silver-gold swirls past her waist. Small bits of hay clung to the silken strands. He watched as she slowly turned around, saw her chin jut out, displaying the stubborn streak she’d had since she could talk, and silently cursed himself for getting into this situation. With that angelic face and a body Playboy would kill to add to its centerfold collection, he knew he’d just made a big mistake. Another one. His body was still erect and throbbing, ready for action of a different kind that had nothing to do with the battlefield. Spending too much time around her he could easily lose his mind. Or find himself in a whole lot of trouble. Maybe both.
“I...I couldn’t sleep,” she said finally, her voice soft. “I guess it’s because you’re home.” She huffed out an embarrassed laugh as though she now thought the idea was completely lame. “I considered maybe you might be out here and could use some company. I thought we could talk. Like we used to. Sorry I woke you up.”
Chance muttered a string of silent curses, all aimed at himself. He could feel all the little spears of warning jabbing his body and mind, each one screaming No! as he nodded, sat back down on the old blanket he’d found in the office and patted a corner, silently inviting her to join him.
“I would like your company. I’ll try to be nice.”
With a shift in body language, Holly approached him, moving the loose strands of hay around and fussing over the makeshift bed like a hen building a nest. When she finally had her spot the way she wanted, she sat down and grinned up at him. She was radiant. She smelled of some kind of berries, probably her shampoo. It was nice. Not all flowery like what some women used. He could feel the slight heat of her smaller body next to him as she relaxed against the wall.
This was a very bad idea.
“So have your brothers hit you up about quitting the SEALs and coming home permanently?”
He wondered which of them told her about
