‘I made a huge impression,’ Seb joked. ‘And young minds across the village are rejoicing that I have arrived as head of year.’
A female voice cut in next to them, ‘I’m sure they are, Seb, no doubt about it.’
‘Jackie, hey, how are you? Come and join us.’ Seb edged along his bench seat so Jackie could sit down.
‘Anna.’ Jackie said by way of greeting, with a distinct lack of emotion.
‘Jackie.’ Anna replied with similar flatness. Their relationship was as such that they’d spent much of their youth circling each other, snogging each other’s boyfriends and generally pissing each other off without ever fully acknowledging their mutual dislike.
‘So how are you?’ Jackie ran her tongue along her lips, then grinned, ‘Never made it to New York, then?’
‘No,’ Anna winced a smile, cocking her head to one side and then saying sweetly, ‘I see you didn’t either. Ever make it out of Nettleton?’
Jackie shrugged. ‘Everything I need is here.’
Anna blew out a breath in disbelief.
‘Whereas you...I mean, what was it we were meant to see? Your name in lights at the Lincoln Center? Wasn’t that always the dream?’
Anna pushed a strand of hair out of her eyes. ‘I grew too tall to be a dancer.’
Jackie sat back and crossed her legs. ‘Shame.’
As the air between them hummed, Seb clapped his hands and said, ‘So, what does everyone want to drink?’
As Jackie said she’d die for a gin and tonic, Anna hitched her bag onto her shoulder, stood up and said, ‘I’ll get them.’ Just to get away from the table.
She stood, tapping her nails on the bar. Her name in lights at the Lincoln Center. It was like a jolt. New York, Lincoln Center. Her mum had said, holding up an advert listing the New York City Ballet’s winter programming in the paper. If I hadn’t got pregnant, that’s where I would have been. Imagine being on that stage. Anna, that’s the pinnacle.
When she heard laughter behind her, Anna swung round thinking that it must be about her, but saw instead a couple in the corner enjoying a shared joke. She blew out a breath and tried to relax. But she was like an animal on high alert, poised and ready. At her table Seb and Jackie were looking at something on Jackie’s phone and giggling. Anna found herself envying Seb’s effortless charm, the ease with which he slipped back into relationships. The way he could be so instantly, unguardedly, involved. Not that she’d ever admit it.
‘What’s going on?’ she asked as she pushed the tray of drinks onto the table.
‘Jackie is educating me on the world of Internet dating.’ Seb laughed.
‘It’s nothing,’ Jackie waved a hand, ‘Just Tinder.’
Anna nodded, not sure what she was talking about but, rather than ask, pretended that she wasn’t really that interested. She felt herself doing it on purpose, fitting into the role Jackie expected.
‘The website. No?’ Jackie said, taking a sip of her gin and tonic, as Anna obviously hadn’t been able to hide her blankness as well as she thought. ‘Well I suppose you wouldn’t know, not being single. It’s meant to be the closest thing to dating in the normal world.’ Jackie went on, leaning her elbows on the table, ‘You know, you rate people on what they look like, it’d be right up your street, Anna.’
Anna narrowed her eyes.
‘Look—’ Seb leant forward, Jackie’s phone in his hand. ‘If you like them, you swipe them into the Yes pile and if you don’t, you swipe them into the No. Isn’t it amazing? I just can’t believe it exists. It’s so ruthless, like some sort of horrible conveyor belt of desperation.’
‘Thank you very much, Seb.’ Jackie sat back.
‘I didn’t mean you. I meant them.’
Forgetting her act for a moment, Anna inched her head closer, fascinated, as she watched men appear on screen and Seb swipe them into the No pile as easily as swatting flies.
‘Hang on,’ Jackie snatched it off him. ‘Don’t waste my bounty,’ she laughed.
Seb leant over her shoulder and said, ‘I mean, look at this guy.’ He stabbed the shadowy profile picture on the screen, ‘Why put that picture up? Why wear a hat and a scarf and take it in the dark? All it does is say I’m fat and or ugly. Surely that’s an immediate no from everyone, because fat, ugly people know the trick because they’d do it themselves, and everyone imagines if they were fat and ugly that’s what they would do. He’s a fool.’
Jackie laughed and swiped the shadowy image away.
‘He’s quite nice though.’ Anna edged closer as a picture of a snowboarder popped up, all tanned, chiselled cheekbones and crazy bleached hair.
‘Never fall for the snowboarders or surfers. Believe me, without the get-up they’re all pretty average and all they talk about is how great they are.’
‘I take it you’ve been on quite a lot of dates.’
Jackie shrugged. ‘A fair few. Before this it was eHarmony and Match. I’ve done them all.’
Seb crossed his arms over his chest and sat back against the wooden slates of the booth, ‘It’s interesting isn’t it, the idea of being paired by a computer?’
‘I wonder if you two went on something like eHarmony,’ Jackie said without looking up from her swiping, ‘whether they’d match you.’
‘I doubt it,’ Seb guffawed.
Anna tried not to show her shock. ‘You don’t think?’ she asked, as neutrally as she could.
‘Oh come on. You’re always going on about how different we are,’ he laughed, taking a sip of his pint.
Anna felt her mouth half open, saw Jackie glance up with a wicked look in her eye.
‘Well you are!’ Seb said, as if he knew suddenly that he’d said the wrong thing. A slight look of worry on his face.
‘Yes.’ Anna nodded. ‘Yep, I am. Yeah, they’d probably never match us,’ she said casually and sat back with her wine, her legs crossed, trying to set her face into a relaxed expression.
Seb looked away from her, back to the phone screen and she felt a chill over her skin despite the stifling humidity. This was a man who used to look at her like she was made of gold, who saw a goodness in her that she barely saw herself, who saw the softness beneath the plating.
She suddenly felt like her dusting of glamour was wearing off.
‘Actually, Anna‒’ Jackie said, handing her phone to Seb. ‘I wanted to ask you a favour.’
‘A favour?’ Anna felt herself stiffen.
Seb paused momentarily and glanced
