having a gun in the house is more dangerous than not having one.” He flushed. “’Cuz things can happen. You know.”
Ethan held her son’s gaze. “I do know what happened, Jake. I’ve seen other tragedies like it. And let me say here that some law enforcement officers don’t agree with me. And I’m not opposed to safe gun ownership. People who hunt, for example, who follow the rules and lock their weapons up when they’re not carrying them. Target shooting can be fun. There’s nothing wrong with it. Same caveats.”
He had to explain what a caveat was.
“Dad always said he’d take me to the range when I got bigger.” Jake sounded wistful. “You remember, Mom?”
She remembered. Even then, she had hated the very idea, but she’d never said so. Certainly not to Jake, but not even to Matt. “I do,” she said.
“Did you learn to shoot when you were a kid?” Jake asked, earnestly pursuing...what? Justification for him to learn to handle a gun?
“Actually, no. My dad wasn’t a hunter. He’s in law enforcement, but he didn’t encourage me to take that path.”
“Is he still alive?” Laura asked.
Ethan glanced at her, his eyebrows climbing. “Sure. He’s a US marshal, but not for much longer. He’s taking retirement this coming year. Much to Mom’s relief, he switched to guard duty at the courthouse these past few years. His knees aren’t what they used to be.”
“Is he why you went into law enforcement?” she couldn’t resist asking.
His shoulders moved. “Partly. Of course there was always an element of glamour to it in my mind, like what Jake’s talking about. But I had a lot of other interests. I didn’t switch my major to criminology until I was a junior, and I had to add an extra semester to make up for lost time.”
She wanted to ask why he’d changed his mind midstream, but couldn’t help noticing how careful he’d been not to say. And really, he undoubtedly had better things to do today than exchange life stories with her.
He took a long swallow of coffee and set the mug down. “I’ve pontificated long enough. A piece of advice, though, Jake.”
Her son gazed eagerly at him.
“Or maybe I should start by asking how you’ve handled the talk about you.”
He hunched his shoulders, clearly unhappy to have the spotlight back on his own troubles. Turtle retreating into his shell. “Sometimes I say you don’t know what you’re talking about. Mostly I just, like, walk away.”
“In other words, you’re hoping if you ignore the whispers, they’ll go away.”
He jerked his shoulders. “I guess.”
“Ignoring things hardly ever makes them go away, you know.”
If she’d said that, Jake would have gotten sullen. But because it was Ethan instead, he screwed up his face. “I sort of know that.”
“Well, here’s what I’d tell them instead. ‘Something really bad did happen, but I was only five. It was an accident. I never meant to hurt anybody. Five-year-olds don’t understand much. I’d give anything for it not to have happened, but I can’t go back.’”
Laura watched Jake’s lips move as he silently repeated every word. Hero worship being born, she thought ruefully. And...she couldn’t even be sorry. Ethan had been sympathetic without getting maudlin, practical and philosophically, well, not that different from where she stood.
Disturbed by the tenor of her thoughts, she reminded herself that he did carry a gun, and was fully prepared to use it at any time.
Ethan glanced down at his phone, and she realized it must have vibrated. He rose to his feet and said, “I do need to go now. Laura, will you walk me out?”
She nodded.
Neither of them said anything until they’d reached the sidewalk by his SUV.
“Maybe I should move again,” Laura said suddenly. “Tino’s two aren’t going to rush around school on Monday telling everyone Dad says he was wrong, that Marco’s death wasn’t Jake’s fault.”
“Probably not. Kids don’t want to admit they were wrong.” His forehead creased. “What are his kids’ names?”
“Names?” She blinked. “His oldest is Niccolo, although I think he goes by Nick. And the girl is Gianna. Then they had another girl...Maddalena, I think. She’d be...eight. Then the boy in kindergarten and, heck, probably at least one more if not two.”
“Does Jake lengthen?”
“You mean, is it Italian? No. His full name is Jacob. Matt’s parents were not happy. He was Matteo, you know. They blamed me, but it was all him. I’d have been fine with Rico or Roberto or something like that, but he refused. He kept saying, ‘Mama doesn’t want to admit it, but we’re American now.’”
“Huh.”
“What’s that mean?”
“I take it that Mama Vennetti did not approve of her son marrying a woman who isn’t Italian?”
“Mama did not, and she never tried to like me.” At first Laura had been hurt, then mad. She’d become a damn fine Italian cook, she’d consented to raise their children in the Catholic Church even though she herself didn’t take the sacraments, but she wasn’t good enough and never would be. She wasn’t a woman who would hover in the background, as Renata had done today. The irony was that Mama was a domineering woman who wouldn’t hang back while her husband made decisions, either. Truthfully, what Mama didn’t want was another woman in the family who would challenge her.
Ethan studied her thoughtfully. “So the setup was already in place after the shooting.”
“For Mama to reject me? Absolutely. Matt...” She had to swallow and it was a struggle to go on. “That, I never would have expected—”
She wondered if being cut off by his family had devastated her husband more than her fury and inability to forgive him. Sometimes she almost hoped so, as if that would reduce the weight of her own sins.
“Hey.” Given how hard Ethan Winter’s face could be with its stark angles and planes, he had a way of looking remarkably gentle. Even...tender. “I didn’t mean to depress you even more.”
“What’s happening with Jake tears off scabs,” she said honestly. “How can it not?”
He didn’t say anything, his eyes intent on her.
“I think you’re right,” she said in a rush. “About the gun safety class. Can you suggest someplace I can sign him up?”
She felt his subtle relaxation. “Yeah. In fact, I sometimes teach a session. Let me see what’s coming up and call you, all right?”
Laura nodded. “And...thank you. For everything you said in there.”
He smiled.
