sighed. “It seemed like the right decision at the time.”
“And now?” he asked.
“There’s no going back.”
He had the feeling that she hadn’t asked for much in her marriage, but his father had refused her the one thing she’d really wanted.
“He was a selfish bastard.”
“Don’t say that. I made my choices and I loved your father. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t change anything. He was a great man.” She held up her hand. “You don’t have to agree with me on that, but I know it to be true. I loved him. I will never love that way again.”
There was a certainty and a power in the way she spoke. For the first time in his life, he envied his father. Not because he had any romantic feelings for Helen, but because the old man had been loved completely. Helen saw his faults and accepted them. She believed he was the great love of her life.
At one time Jack had wanted that for himself. He’d believed he’d found it with Shelby, but he’d been wrong.
“Back up,” Jack said.
Samantha held in a low moan. “See, I was thinking I could go through life in Drive rather than Reverse. Sort of like letting go of the past. Don’t you think that’s important? To always move forward? It’s a Zen thing. Or if not Zen, then something else Zen-like.” She smiled brightly.
Jack looked at her. “We’re talking about driving, not your life, and one isn’t a metaphor for the other. You’re going to have to learn to back up the car at some point, so why not now?”
She’d been afraid he was going to get all logical on her. “The Zen thing didn’t move you even a little?”
“No.”
“But you have to admit it was clever.”
“Very clever. Now back into the parking space.”
Had he always been this imperious? she thought as she carefully checked the empty parking lot.
There weren’t any other cars to be seen, just ominous white lines marking parking spaces. Very small parking spaces.
“Go slowly,” Jack told her. “Think about where you want the car to go, not where it is. Check for anything in the way, then back up slowly.”
She wasn’t sure when this had become the advanced class, but she was determined not to balk, despite nearly blinding fear.
She drew in a deep breath and looked at where she wanted the car to go. There was a tree there, spindly and gray. She briefly imagined the car’s rear bumper only a foot or so from the tree, then she put the car in reverse and slowly began to back up.
“Keep your eyes on where you want to be, not where you are,” he said.
“Hey, don’t try to out-Zen the Zen master,” she muttered, still watching the tree. She got closer and closer, then put on the brake and slipped the car into Park.
Jack grinned. “Pretty good,” he said and opened his car door. “Check it out.”
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