an interminable time she heard car doors slam, the roar of engines starting.
Her shoulders sagged with relief. Conscious of the careless caress of the wind on her skin, of a tui whistling in a nearby phutukawa tree, Alyssa stood still as the cemetery rapidly emptied.
Finally, she opened her eyes. Only a few people remained. Joshua was gone. But the memory of his intensity as he’d told her that he didn’t want Amy suffering any more than she already was, remained vivid. What would it be like to be the focus of all that masculine protection?
She wished….
What was the point of wishing? The connection she’d sensed with Joshua had ended the minute he learned who she was. She was accustomed to being alone. As the indulged, only child of two older parents she’d grown up curiously isolated. She’d been thirteen when she’d discovered that she was adopted, that she’d been born Alice McKay—not Alyssa Blake.
She’d been so excited at the prospect of finding siblings … more family. But her mother had cried at the idea of Alyssa searching for her birth parents. For years Alyssa had put it off, fearful of upsetting Margaret. But finally she’d been compelled to make a start, secretly. Only after her mother’s death three years ago had she been able to focus single-mindedly on her quest.
She’d never tracked down her birth father. But she’d found her vacant-eyed birth mother in an institute for stroke victims and she’d become a regular visitor. But from the moment Alyssa discovered that she had a brother, she hadn’t rested.
She’d wanted to find him … Roland.
And now Roland was gone forever.
A cloud drifted across the sky and passed over the face of the sun, blocking out the sunlight and casting a shadow over the mound where Roland lay. Alyssa shivered.
Why? Why had she not forced the issue with Roland sooner, made him see her. They could’ve had a few weeks … months. She sighed. But would extra time have made any difference?
Alyssa supposed it wasn’t a big deal to him. Roland hadn’t needed a sister; he’d already had a sister—and two brothers. A whole proud, supportive family.
While, to her, finding her brother had become everything.
“Alice….” Kay spoke hesitantly from beside her.
She gave a start of surprise. “Call me Alyssa.” Alice was gone. Buried in the ground as surely as Roland was. Alice had existed only as evidence that she had once been someone else … someone with a brother.
Coming to a decision, Alyssa said flatly, “Joshua thinks that I’m Roland’s lover.” Alyssa still felt sullied by the accusation in his eyes. “I don’t like it—especially not since Roland was already engaged. I’d like you tell Joshua the truth, please.”
Kay shook her head, and gestured to the raw, new grave. “Roland is dead. Phillip and I don’t want the trauma of explaining to the children that he was never their blood brother.”
Children? Alyssa goggled at the older woman. Joshua Saxon was no child. “They’re adults, not children anymore. Surely they’ll understand?”
Kay looked uncomfortable. “It would mean their whole upbringing was based on a lie.”
“They deserve the truth.”
“It’s too late for that.” Kay shook her head and started to move away toward the white gate where Phillip stood, his back to them, talking with a group of mourners.
Frustration and despair pooled deep inside Alyssa’s chest, setting a heavy lump.
“Why didn’t you tell them sooner?” Then Roland might even have come looking for her. He’d have had time to come to terms with having a sister, of not being a Saxon by birth.
Kay stopped. “At first we intended to tell them, but the years passed, and then it was too late. Neither Phillip nor I want them to know now. It’s not necessary.” Kay faced Alyssa, her eyes a cool, implacable gray. “I’d like you to respect that.”
Alyssa had known how Kay would react, but she’d hoped …
It wasn’t to be. Roland was gone. Yet there was so much Kay could share about her brother. Maybe.
Alyssa’s heart started to beat anxiously in her chest at the audacity of what she was contemplating. “Kay, I won’t tell anyone. But only if you share your memories of Roland with me. Every day for a week. I want to see the photos of him, hear the stories of what he did, share the places he knew growing up.”
“That’s not poss—”
Alyssa read the other woman’s refusal in her eyes. Thrusting her apprehension away, she firmed her lips into a deter mined line and stalked past the older woman. “Then I have no reason to give you my promise to keep my relationship with Roland a secret.”
“Wait.”
She turned her head.
“You can’t do that.” Kay looked horrified. “And if I do as you want? How can I trust you not to say anything later?”
“I’ll give you my word.” Alyssa sagged under the weight of the tension. “And I’ll never break it, no matter what pressure I’m put under. This is important to me … It’s all I’ll ever have of the brother I’ve been searching for since I turned eighteen.”
“Okay.” Kay wore a peculiar expression. “Come to Saxon’s Folly in the morning. You’d better bring your bags. You may as well stay for the week.”
Alyssa felt a surge of victory … until she remembered Joshua’s hard, judgmental gaze.
Five
Alyssa drove through the curving set of white gates of Saxon’s Folly the following morning, nerves tying her stomach in knots. The beauty of the rows of vines stretching away on both sides of the long, oak-lined drive, still bare of the lush green growth of leaves that would come with summer, failed to calm her trepidation about encountering Joshua Saxon again.
At least she had her boss’s blessing. She’d called her editor early this morning, telling him that she needed a few more days off. David’s annoyance had evaporated when he’d found out she was in Hawkes Bay.
“Why didn’t you tell me that last time you called? I heard that Roland Saxon was killed over the weekend. A terrible tragedy. You can do a story on the great loss that he’ll be to the industry. Try get the scoop on who’ll be replacing him as the marketing man of Saxon’s Folly—and how that will impact on Saxon’s Folly’s place in the industry.”
Her breath catching in her chest, she said, “David, I want to take time off.”
“Are you ill? You sound strange.”
To distract her canny editor, Alyssa announced in a rush, “I’ve been invited to stay at Saxon’s Folly.”
There was a short silence. Alyssa could almost hear the cogs turning in David’s mind.
“Get a short obituary on Roland Saxon
