she blinked sleepily after a hefty dose of painkillers.
The surgeon would be doing rounds before he went home, and Joshua had every intention of cornering him to discuss Alyssa’s prognosis.
He looked down at her. She’d been a real trouper. Uncomplaining. Pleasant to the nurses. A dream patient.
On cue, almost as though she’d heard his thoughts, her eyelids fluttered.
“My boss is going to be mad. I’m going to need even more time off work.” She gave him a sleepy look from under heavy eyelids and pushed the covers back with her uninjured hand, revealing a white hospital-issue flannel gown.
Instantly his body stirred. God, the woman was hurt … drugged … and one sleepy glance was all it took to electrify him. To bring back the memory of strawberries and soft skin and—
He pressed his mouth into a hard line.
“Have no fear, I won’t be staying at Saxon’s Folly,” she muttered, misinterpreting his frustration.
“Yes, you will.” It had been bothering him ever since the doctor had asked who would be looking after her. “You’re staying. I’m the boss, remember? What I say goes.”
“I thought you couldn’t wait to be rid of me?”
“So did I,” he growled.
But she didn’t laugh as he’d half-intended. Instead her irises darkened her eyes to an unfathomable shade. “What of your concerns that I might stir up trouble with your mother … and Amy?”
“I’ll confine you to your room—so seeing Amy won’t be a problem.” Joshua smiled to make sure she knew he had no real intention of locking her away. “And for some strange reason your presence seems to be doing my mother good.” He hadn’t expected that. “Everything she says is prefaced by ‘Alyssa thinks …’ It’s her latest craze.”
Her expression softened. “I like your mother very much, too. I couldn’t impose on her. She has enough on her plate emotionally without an invalid in the house.”
“You don’t have a choice.” Joshua stood and stretched, his back aching from the hard hospital chair that he’d occupied for the past hour. “You’re staying at Saxon’s Folly.”
“Because you feel that what happened was your fault?”
Trust Alyssa to see through his offer to the self-blame that lay beneath. “Yes.” He raised an eyebrow and added with barbed humour, “And because I don’t trust you not to rush away and get legal advice so that you can sue Saxon’s Folly. Consider my invitation an attempt to save on legal costs.”
That managed to raise a smile. “Okay, then I definitely have no choice. But don’t accuse me of trying to seduce you.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He couldn’t blame her for her reluctance to stay. He’d done all he could to drive her away, scared that she might hurt his family. And then there was his other unspoken fear.
The fear that stirred whenever she came too close.
The deep-seated fear that she could seduce him anytime she chose seemed unreasonably absurd when, eyelids drooping, she said softly, “Thanks, Joshua.”
The fear melted away beneath her gratitude.
“My pleasure.”
The hands of the clock on the wall moved forward, and Joshua sat quietly by Alyssa’s side as her eyes remained firmly shut. Not even the bustle of activity when the night staff came on duty caused her to stir.
He stared into her pale face. She was beautiful in sleep, her features perfect. The straight nose, the curved lips, the ivory skin and dark auburn hair that spilled against her fine-grained skin. How could he have missed her perfection?
Awake, Alyssa was so animated—so opinionated—that all consideration of her beauty was driven from his mind. He was always aware of her … the spirit of her … the very essence that was Alyssa. She annoyed him. She frustrated the hell out of him. And, yes, he’d admit she intrigued him more than any woman in a long, long time.
The night of the masked ball his attention had been captured by her figure, her poise, her assurance … and the in-your-face challenge that she radiated. Once he’d held her in his arms … well, hell, his hormones had taken over.
And then at the hospital, when his only concern should’ve been for his brother, he’d discovered he’d been turned on by Alyssa Blake, his dead brother’s forbidden lover.
The discovery had shaken him to the core.
Now he stared at her, remembered the flash of vulnerability when she’d spoke of her married friends with their families.
The loneliness in her eyes had called out to him.
Did she yearn for a family … children? Had she expected to find them with Roland? Or had his sometimes obtuse older brother caused the emptiness he’d glimpsed hidden inside her?
Then there was Amy, the woman who Roland had been supposed to marry before Christmas. Joshua had been eager for Alyssa to leave—before Amy found out Roland had been screwing around with another woman.
He felt torn between looking out for Amy, his mother’s goddaughter who he’d looked out for all his life, and the responsibility he’d acquired to Alyssa. She was hurt, in hospital, with no one to call on to tell about her operation.
Tough, opinionated Alyssa Blake needed him.
Watching her, something heavy shifted deep inside his chest. Alyssa wouldn’t be able to leave tomorrow. And even when she’d recovered enough to drive, how could he let her go back to Auckland, where clearly there was no one to take care of her?
Suddenly Joshua wished Roland had lived so that he could throttle his brother. How dare Roland have been so irresponsible? He’d always been a bit of a playboy … but to mess around with two women simultaneously was stupid. Hadn’t he expected them to find out about each other? And now Joshua was stuck with the mess.
Joshua stared at Alyssa. The worst of the whole mess was that he was starting to suspect that if she crooked her little finger at him, he’d come running.
He wanted her for himself.
A memory from earlier in the day flashed into his mind. Of her head tilted back, her eyes shut and her glorious hair spilled over the grass beside the woodland pool. God. He’d nearly damn well had her. He’d touched her pale skin, kissed her soft, sensitive breasts. He’d taunted Alyssa, asking if she wanted more. The raw truth was he’d craved more. Much more.
If the knowledge that she’d gone with him only because she’d wanted to see Roland’s favourite spot hadn’t been flung over him like a bucket of icy water, he would’ve taken her.
He almost wished he had.
A soft groan of shock escaped him.
What kind of man lusted after his brother’s lover … a brother who hadn’t even been buried for a month?
Nine
