not going down memory lane,” she snapped without looking at him. But she was already down it. Her fingers knotted and she fought the urge to glance again at the barn she saw every day of her life, yet it held special memories of an unforgettable night.
Her whole family had been away for a barn dance. Early in the evening, Luke had coaxed her to leave with him. They had gone back to her place because everyone had gone to the party. Instead of driving to the house, Luke had stopped at the barn. The minute they stepped inside, he pulled her into his arms to kiss her. Later, he spread a blanket on the hayloft and drew her to him again to make love to her, her first time.
Looking away from the barn, she tried to think of something else and forget that night so long ago, forget memories of his slow, sweet kisses that made her want him with her whole being, memories of his strong arms around her, his mouth on her, his seductive hands all over her body.
“How are your mom, and Toby and his wife?”
“They’re fine,” she answered, glancing at him. “Toby and Naomi have a little girl, Ava.” While Luke watched the road, her gaze swept over him, once again taking in the short stubble that covered his jaw, his tousled, dark blond hair that she could remember running her fingers through too many times to count. His shoulders were broader now, thicker. Desire rocked her and she took a deep breath. Realizing once again where her thoughts were going, she turned swiftly to stare out the window, not really seeing the landmarks they passed, but remembering being held in his arms, her head back against his shoulder.
She gave a tiny shake and struggled to get her attention off of her ex. He would leave as suddenly as he had come, and she didn’t want one tiny bit more hurt in her life because of Luke Weston, especially now that she had a son to care for.
She looked at familiar land, places she had grown up, and in seconds Luke dominated her thoughts yet again.
She had to resist his appeal. In no time he would be back in his private plane, headed to California, back to his ritzy life, back to glamorous models, celebs and rich socialites, eventually marrying one who could give him the children he’d want.
“You’ve done well in California. You did the right thing to move out there. It suits you as much as all this suits me,” she said, knowing the Silicon Valley world was his world.
“I guess you’re right, Scarlett. It’s my real home,” he said without looking at her. He sounded casual, but his hand was tight on the steering wheel, so obviously he felt something, too. “Common sense says to sell the ranch and forget it. I won’t live in Texas again. But...I can’t sell it. I just can’t let the family place go. It’s been in our family since the 1800s.” He blew out a frustrated breath. “I paid the house off three years ago, and damned if he didn’t go out and mortgage it to the hilt again. He hasn’t kept up his payments—no surprise there. He’s let the help go. I just found that out before I came.”
“Sorry, Luke,” she said, again without looking at him. How polite and cool they were being with each other. “So you’re going to keep the ranch, even though you’ll go back to California? You think you’ll come back to the ranch someday?” she asked, watching him and curious about his answer even though she knew she shouldn’t care at all. They would never again mean anything to each other. Unfortunately, the jump in her pulse today showed she still had to work at getting him out of her system.
“No, I never will, but at this point in my life, I just don’t want to let it go. I know that doesn’t make sense, because California is absolutely my forever home.”
“You don’t need to be in a hurry. Your dad is still around. It may mean something to him.”
“Booze is the only thing that means anything to him,” Luke said, and she heard the anger and bitterness in his reply. “He’ll never be able to live alone again.”
After they left the McKittrick ranch, they rode quietly. Her thoughts were in turmoil because she couldn’t lose that intense awareness she had of Luke. She never had been able to ignore him, and she definitely couldn’t now. Why couldn’t she ever see him as just another guy? She had to get over him or get hurt again. She could never be the woman for him because of her fertility problems. One man who loved her enough to ask her to marry him had already walked out on her. Luke hadn’t been interested when he had never been out of Texas and was getting ready to leave the family ranch. Now, he wouldn’t have any permanent interest in a small-town female vet who couldn’t bear his children. If she got involved with him, he would love her and leave her and in doing that he would get to know her baby. If she let Luke in her life again, when he said goodbye, he would not only break her heart again, he would break little Carl’s heart. That could be a lifetime hurt for her and her baby.
Scarlett tried to avoid remembering Luke’s kisses, but whenever she glanced at his handsome profile or his sexy mouth, the memory was vivid, tantalizing, still painful after all this time. She looked at his big, masculine hands on the steering wheel, but shifted her attention swiftly because she could remember those hands on her body, working their magic. An undercurrent of longing taunted her.
She released a quavering breath. Why did her heart race when he had merely brushed her fingers with his? She remembered how much she’d hurt when he left when she was sixteen. She didn’t want a bigger hurt now.
She couldn’t understand her own reactions to him. She wasn’t in love with him—she barely liked him because of the bitter fight before he left for California. How could he set her pulse pounding just by reappearing? She had to get over him. She didn’t want to spend years longing for a guy she knew as a boy in high school. A guy who didn’t want her.
They rode in silence until he turned and headed up the road toward the house where he had spent his boyhood.
The first sign of neglect was a rusty pickup smashed against a tree. She saw bullet holes where kids had probably placed bottles on it or just shot out the windows and used the truck for a target. The wheels were gone. Weeds grew up in the road that was barely visible in spots.
“Evidently, after Dad let the hands go, he sold some of the horses to subsidize his alcohol addiction.” Luke scowled. “I used to send money home, but he just bought liquor with it, so I stopped. I’ll get a crew out here as fast as I can, but right now I wanted you to see if we can’t save some of these horses. But honestly? I don’t know how the horses I saw can last through the night. No one works here. The damn ranch is deserted—the animals left to starve and die.”
She could hear the anger and pain in his voice and couldn’t blame him for his reaction. She was equally shocked by the terrible conditions.
In minutes, Luke approached a pasture with half a dozen horses standing near a stock tank that needed water. The windmill had broken boards and wasn’t working. She gasped. “Oh, no,” she whispered without knowing she had spoken when she saw the horses with ribs painfully revealed and two with their heads hanging. All the horses looked severely malnourished. The stock tank had holes in the side.
“Sorry to pull you into this because I know it’ll tear you up, but I need your help here,” Luke said.
“Oh, my heavens. Look at the horses,” she lamented. “It breaks my heart. You know I’ll help these animals,” she said, horrified to look at the condition of the horses. She felt sympathy for Luke, even though she didn’t want to get caught up in his problems. But what he had come home to was ghastly, and he had tried to help his dad to keep the ranch in good shape.
She could certainly understand his anger and disappointment, and gave a silent prayer of thanks
