‘We’re only alike to look at,’ Susie added firmly. ‘Quite different in other ways. Hannah’s the assertive one. She’s a kick-ass A and E specialist who works in a big city hospital in New Zealand. She recently married another ED doctor and…and she’s just found out she’d expecting her first baby.’
Oh, Lord, how had that slipped out? And with that edge of wistfulness that Alex surely couldn’t miss. Good grief—how to scare a man off in one easy move.
‘So I’m going to be an aunt,’ she finished—hopefully brightly. ‘It’s very exciting.’
‘Hmm.’ Alex was loading his fork again. Cutting his food with a precision that reminded Susie what he did for a living. Reminded her also of how skilful those long fingers were in other, more personal arenas. Hurriedly, she dropped her gaze to her own plate and stirred the wild mushroom risotto she had chosen for a main course.
Change the subject, she ordered herself sternly. Fast!
‘You would have been proud of Stella today.’ Good choice of topic, Susie congratulated herself. Appropriate and distracting.
‘I’m always proud of Stella.’
‘She was wonderful with the children in Benita’s group. She knew quite a lot about rainforest frogs and she’s a natural teacher.’
‘Is that so?’ She had definitely caught his interest. ‘Yes. Even when she was really sick in hospital, she took an interest in the younger children. It’s a shame she never had any siblings.’
Susie was grateful she had a mouthful of risotto that precluded a response. Was Alex suggesting he might want more children in the future?
‘Teaching wouldn’t be a bad career for her if that’s something she wants to do,’ Alex said. ‘Challenging but not necessarily too physically demanding.’
‘I don’t think anything is going to hold Stella back. She had a major hurdle to get over in accepting her prosthesis, but I think she’ll go from strength to strength now.’
‘Thanks to you.’ Alex discarded his fork and caught Susie’s hand, covering it with both of his. ‘I am very, very grateful for what you’ve done for my daughter.’
‘It’s been a pleasure.’ Susie loved the feeling of her hand being enclosed like this. It felt safe. Protected. A miniature version of what it would feel like to have her whole body held in Alex’s arms.
She wanted to be held. So much.
‘You’re very fond of Stella, aren’t you?’ Alex seemed to be watching her carefully.
It rang a warning bell. What was the real question being asked? Whether she could see herself being Stella’s stepmother? Surely not. Scared of reading too much into the query, Susie simply nodded in response. And smiled.
‘And you’re going to become an aunt.’ Alex let go of her hand to return his attention to his dinner. ‘Do you see yourself having your own children one day?’
Oh, help! The was getting heavy. A question as loaded as a shotgun. Susie tried to remember how he’d worded his comment about siblings for Stella. He’d used the past tense, hadn’t he? That meant he wasn’t considering the possibility.
‘I love kids,’ she said cautiously. ‘And, yes, I guess I did always see myself being a mother, but…’
‘But?’ Had Alex noted the way she had also used the past tense?
‘It would depend,’ Susie floundered. Somehow she had to avoid slamming doors. She also had to avoid putting Alex under unreasonable pressure by hinting how strong her feelings were. He couldn’t possibly share them. It was too soon. Too much the stuff of fairy tales.
He wasn’t going to let her off the hook, however. ‘On what?’ he asked.
‘On the partnership I was in.’ Susie abandoned her food in favour of her wine. She also gave up any mental gymnastics. This was important and she couldn’t be less than truthful.
‘I’m thirty-three,’ she said bluntly. ‘It’s quite possible that someone I meet will already have children and not want any more. Yes, I’d be sad not to have a child of my own, but if I meet the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, I’m not going to let that get in the way. It’s the partnership that’s the most important.’
Strangely, Susie was finding it easy to hold Alex’s gaze as she spoke words that came straight from her heart. ‘It’s the feeling of never being alone,’ she said softly. ‘Even if you’re miles apart. Knowing that someone is there for you, no matter what.’
‘Trust.’ Alex nodded. ‘Two halves of a whole.’
‘Yes.’ Susie still hadn’t looked away. Hadn’t even blinked. ‘And finding that is like the end of the rainbow. Anything else…everything else…has to be negotiable.’ She smiled, hoping to lighten the odd intensity surrounding them. ‘Whew! Does that answer your question?’
‘Indeed.’ But Alex wasn’t smiling. He was looking very serious. Digesting what she had said? Planning an early escape from a crazy woman who was planning to snare some poor man for a lifetime?
The waiter’s approach to their table was well timed. ‘Would Sir and Madam like to see the dessert menu?’
‘Would we?’ Alex raised an eyebrow at his companion and Susie had to lick her lips again and reach for her wineglass. Her whole mouth felt dry now.
Alex cleared his throat. ‘I think,’ he told the waiter, ‘that we might avail ourselves of room service if we require dessert.’
‘Very good.’ The waiter took their plates and moved away smoothly.
‘Is it?’ Alex stood up, dropping his linen napkin onto the table and extending a hand to Susie. ‘Very good, that is?’
‘Oh…yes.’ Susie put her hand into his. She had been looking forward to dancing with Alex again tonight but, finally, he seemed to have caught the urgency she had been aware of all evening.
And it was, indeed, very good.
They left the restaurant in almost unseemly haste. Hand in hand. Susie was only vaguely distracted by Sophia Poulos’s open-mouthed delight as she spotted them in the foyer.
The lift was, satisfyingly, instantly available but they had to share it with another couple. The grip on Susie’s hand tightened until it was almost painful, but Susie made no complaint. When the strangers got out, they waited, unmoving until they reached the top floor. Then Alex pulled her from the lift, somehow opened the door of the suite and then Susie found herself with her back to the wall, grateful for its support under the onslaught of Alex’s kiss.
But then—disturbingly—the urgency was flicked off like a switch. Alex broke the kiss, moved his hands away from Susie’s hips and placed them on the wall on either side of her head. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, and his gaze seemed fastened on where Susie could feel her pulse hammering on the side of her neck.
‘Tonight,’
