challenge her enough to break through the prison doors of her anguish and that person was Ethan. He had done something no one had ever done. He had kept challenging, kept on asking her forgiveness, kept on forcing her to engage with him, until her self-imposed barriers had finally broken down. And for one hour of one day she had clung to Ethan like a drowning girl with every single emotion raw and open and exposed for him to see. This was the boy who had made her brother go out in a race he was not ready for. This was the boy who had teased her and ridiculed her every summer holiday. This was the boy she had secretly had a crush on, but said nothing. Because he was so perfect, so admirable and so very, very unobtainable.
And in that moment when she had been most vulnerable, he had kissed her. And she had kissed him back. And she might have been sixteen, and this was her first kiss, but she knew that he meant it.
And it had destroyed her.
The guilt of kissing and wanting Ethan after he had brought about her family’s ruin had been too much for her to bear. She had felt so weak and angry and disgusted with herself.
When he’d left town the following day, without even saying goodbye, she knew that she had deluded herself into thinking that Ethan could ever care about her. She wasn’t even worth taking the time to speak to.
Mari closed her eyes and took a couple of long breaths. She was twenty-six years old, a trained IT professional and an adult who was used to handling computer crises. Ethan was probably only passing through with his parents. She could cope with seeing him again over the next few days before she went back to work. It was all going to be fine. Just fine.
Only at the exact same moment she allowed herself to breathe normally, there was the sound of footsteps on the cobblestones and sand and, as she turned her head sideways, Ethan Chandler jogged around the corner.
He tried to slide to a halt on the uneven path, arms flailing at the same time as Mari pushed herself back against the wall.
So the only thing he had to grab hold of to stop himself from falling … was her.
Seconds later, Mari’s brain connected to the fact that Ethan Chandler was holding her by both arms, pressing her against his jacket, and she looked up into the blue eyes of the boy who had broken her heart. Words were impossible. Mari inhaled a heady mix of aromatic spices, leather and freshly laundered linen as her own hand moved instinctively to press against the soft fabric and feel the warmth of the man beneath.
‘Hello, Mari. Are you okay there? I wondered if it was you.’ Ethan flicked his head back towards the shore. ‘I only caught a glimpse so I couldn’t be sure but … wow … I had no idea you were back in town. I … er …’ he broke off as their eyes locked; it was only for a second but she knew that he had recognised the total confusion and disbelief and anger that was whirling around inside her head at seeing him again ‘… wasn’t expecting to see you.’
His iron grip relaxed on the sleeve of her jacket and she almost fell back onto the rocks.
‘Ethan,’ she whispered, her voice hoarse and pathetic, ‘I didn’t know that you were around.’
She swallowed down an ocean of nerves into a bone-dry throat, looking for something to say to break the silence. ‘That was quite a performance. I thought you were in trouble out there,’ and she gestured to the waves breaking over the harbour wall.
‘Trouble?’ He coughed nervously and stepped back. ‘No, I wasn’t in trouble. I suppose it is a bit blowy.’
Mari blinked a few times and shook her head in disbelief.
‘Blowy? Right. I hope you know that you scared the living daylights out of me just now. How do you do it? How do you get into that boat and go out on the water in weather like this? I simply don’t understand it.’
His reply was a twitch at the side of his mouth which told her more than a lengthy answer. Oh, yes. She had been right. The boy who had become the man was still as annoyingly arrogant and self-confident that it shone out of him like a beacon to all those around him who were still trying to find their way in the dark. And straight away she was back to being the plump, geeky girl who was the constant target of his incessant teasing.
It was so aggravating she could scream.
She was different now. She could handle this man who had become a star. They had both been so young the last time they spoke—teenagers trying to find their place in the world.
So how was it that the last time she had felt like strangling someone as badly as she did now, her client had just uploaded a virus onto the brand-new server she had just installed?
Ethan took it to the next level.
Grinding her teeth together in frustration, Mari pressed her fingers into her palms and slowly closed her eyes, then opened them while her blood pressure calmed.
‘I’ve got used to bad weather over the past few years, and Swanhaven bay is positively calm compared to the seas in the Southern Ocean. But I’m sorry if I scared you.’
And with all of the extra confidence and self-assurance that ten years of a life spent in the spotlight and hero worship could bring, Ethan took one step closer and casually slid his left hand up and down the sleeve of her padded coat. ‘Are you okay now?’
And it annoyed her so much that it sucked any chance of logical thought out of her mind, rendering her speechless. A blinking, wide-eyed creature. Just as she had been all those years ago when she’d hero-worshipped him from afar and he’d ignored her for most of the time and teased her the rest.
‘You’ve changed your hair,’ Ethan said softly, his sea-blue eyes focused on her face. He grinned the kind of white smile that would make toothpaste companies queue up to arrange sponsorship deals. ‘Looks great.’
Yes, this makes my day, she thought, and found something interesting to look at on her gloves. How dare he look even better with a few years on him? When she felt positively shop-worn and decrepit? And her hair had been squeezed under a hat for ages and must look a total mess. For a moment she couldn’t think or move. Nor trust herself to look at him again, never mind talk to him in joined up sentences.
Why did he still have this effect on her? Why? He had always had the confidence, the natural charm of the handsome, gifted people who had sailed through life on a warm breeze. And knew it. Nothing had changed in that direction.
‘Thank you.’ Mari cleared her throat, lifted her chin a little higher and tried to ignore her pounding heart, while forcing her mouth and head to reconnect long enough to say something intelligent when they had zero in common. ‘It’s been a while.’
‘I was sorry to hear that your mother passed away. She was a remarkable woman,’ he said in a low voice. ‘I was racing solo in the Southern Ocean when it happened or I would have been there. You should know that.’
‘Of course,’ Mari said, desperate to take control, and managed a closed-mouth smile. ‘Did you know that Rosa is still in Swanhaven these days?’ She shook her head in amazement. ‘She loves being here so much. So at least one of us is still in the old town.’
Before he had a chance to answer, Mari made a point of pulling her scarf tighter so that she wouldn’t have to look into those blue eyes. She was a mature woman. She could do polite to a visiting celebrity who used to be close to her family. ‘What brings you here on a Friday morning in February? I thought you lived in Florida.’
‘I
