beer. But it’s a school night, so if you’re worried about Quinn being around a bunch of drunk guys, I doubt anyone’s going to get hammered.”
She fiddled with her messy ponytail. “I don’t even own a bathing suit.”
“You don’t have to go in the water. Come on, it’ll be fun.” And it sure as hell beat sitting around here, trying to drum up something clever to say.
“I don’t know....” The way she worried her lower lip, drawing it into her mouth so a sliver of her teeth showed, struck him as sexy.
“Come on. Think of it as an official duty. I’m making you go, since I’d like to be with Quinn and my friends. More important, if you’re not there, who’ll hold the baby while I play?”
She sighed, but pushed to her feet. “Give me a sec to change into shorts and get gear and a bottle for Quinn.”
* * *
“WHOA, THIS A MIRAGE?”
“Lay off, Hopper,” Calder said to one of the guys they’d just approached. Feeling awkward around more of the hulking SEALs who were similar in stature to her boss, Pandora welcomed the distraction of Quinn making his usual play for her glasses.
Calder made introductions and everyone seemed nice, but once the volleyball game started and she and Quinn were relegated to the sidelines to sit with a girlfriend of one of the SEALs, Pandora felt like the proverbial third wheel.
Which shouldn’t have mattered.
It wasn’t as if she and Calder were even friends, so why had a twinge of disappointment lodged in her belly over the fact that for all practical purposes, she might as well be invisible? It was ridiculous.
Though she’d worked for her last family over a year, she could count on one hand the number of times she’d spoken to the girls’ father. What was it about this position that should be any different?
Calder’s team scored and he high-fived the other guys.
As was starting to be an alarming trend, he’d taken off his shirt. His friends had also lost theirs. The level of male perfection, highlighted in the sun’s early-evening glow was undeniably heady. Yet, at the same time, it left Pandora feeling all the more lonely. It was obvious these men were a tight family unit.
The woman beside Pandora constantly cheered on her man.
Even Quinn unearthed something more interesting than her. His expression turned intense while studying driftwood he’d found in the sand.
Pandora may have grown a lot over the years, but sadly, without Julia, she was still on her own, yet craving more. Once and for all, she wanted to be part of a real family. But she knew better than to think she’d find that in a man like Calder. Even if they’d met under different circumstances, what would he want with her? They came from opposite worlds. He was college educated, as she’d seen from the framed diploma he’d stacked along with other yet-to-be-hung pictures in the linen closet.
Had he known Quinn’s mom carried his child, would he have married her? What qualities would he find attractive enough in a woman to make him want to stick around?
Chapter Four
“I can’t get used to the idea of Calder being a dad.”
Pandora glanced up from feeding Quinn his bottle to find a pretty redhead sitting beside her. They’d finished grilling hot dogs and the guys had returned to their game.
“I’m Patricia, by the way.”
“Pandora. Nice to meet you.” She shook her new friend’s hand.
The baby grunted at the interruption in his bottle, but soon enough was back to contentedly downing his meal.
The team playing opposite Calder’s spiked a ball deep into their territory, and the men erupted into a slew of good-natured name-calling—further startling the baby.
“Rowdy bunch, huh?” Patricia ran her hand along Quinn’s downy hair while Pandora comforted him.
“I’ve seen worse.” No way was Pandora prepared to share the number of drug-induced bar fights she’d witnessed. During her blackest moments, when alcohol had no longer been enough, she’d done and seen things that to this day made her deeply ashamed. She may have technically paid for her crimes, but that didn’t mean her soul had been cleared from all wrongdoing.
“My guy’s Heath—that big lug to Calder’s right. If you’re like me, it’ll take forever to get everyone’s names straight.”
“I can see why.” Quinn had finished his bottle, so Pandora tucked it into his diaper bag, trading it for a burping cloth she positioned over her left shoulder. She eased the fussy baby upright for burping and soon enough, despite the noise, he struggled to keep his eyes open.
“I can’t wait to have kids.” Patricia gazed longingly toward Quinn. “My birthday’s Sunday and rumor has it, Heath’s finally popping the question. We plan to get started on our family right away.”
“Want to hold him?” Pandora offered her the baby.
“Yes, please.” The switch was awkward and filled with laughing.
“Mmm...” Cradling Quinn, Patricia closed her eyes and smiled. “He’s amazing. When Heath told me the story of how this cutie was abandoned, it still makes me mad. Like, seriously? Who does such a thing? That woman was the world’s worst mother. Probably strung out on booze or worse.”
“No doubt.” A knot formed at the back of Pandora’s throat. No matter how hard she swallowed, it refused to budge. Would it always be this tough? Remembering the woman she used to be? She had no right judging Quinn’s mom, as she’d once been every bit as bad.
“Quinn smells so good. I come from a large family, but since I was the baby, I never got to play with a real live one till my nieces and nephews started coming.”
“Must’ve been amazing,” Pandora said, “growing up in a big, loving family.”
“Mostly it was.” She laughed. “Although, I still cringe when I think of sharing a bathroom with so many people.”
Patricia’s statement had been innocent enough, but brought still more bad memories of the halfway house where Pandora had spent the past couple years. It had sure beaten living on the streets, but in some ways it had been harder. So many people and rules. So many reminders of how close she’d come to losing it all.
Reminding herself those days were finally behind her, Pandora forced a smile. “How long have you and Heath been together?”
“Two excruciatingly long years.” Cradling Quinn, her smile turned wistful. “It’s hard enough being with a SEAL—you never know when they’re coming or going. Only the wives have any glimmer of real knowledge as to what’s going on. We lowly girlfriends never know anything.”
“Oh—I’m not Calder’s girlfriend,” Pandora said quickly. “Just Quinn’s nanny.”
“Sorry. I forgot.
